Ickypoopoo.

This delightful creature is a Demodex folliculorum, or demodicid and you are its preferred food. Don’t you feel special?

There are probably several hundred of them on you right this minute. That’s okay, go take a shower; the Internet will still be here when you get back.

Oh, and they lay their eggs in your eyelashes. Sweet, eh? But there is some good news:

The mite’s digestive system results in so little waste that the mite doesn’t even have an excretory opening. So although there may be mites in your eyelashes, there isn’t any mite poop! Thank goodness!

Oh yeah, now I feel a whole lot better. I wonder if it’s impractical to cover your entire face in those Bioré strips…I shall attempt it and report back. Also, guys, if your sales spike because of this link, kickbacks in the form of nose strips are gratefully accepted. Don’t suppose you’ve got any “Eyelash Strips” in the works, eh?

On the topic of these strips, I must say that the wee fuckers are quite addictive. There’s something primal about peeling them off and checking for scream-inducing plugs of nameless gunk that formerly resided in your face, now comprising a tiny little eggshell-coloured forest on the underside of this Germanic piece of engineering. Tis a lovely feeling, like picking a scab and watching it come away leaving behind an open wound and several sticky threads of mysterious, colourless and nameless gel. Yum!

But, however much we at the ol’ raincoaster blog adore aforesaid pore-raping strips, however much we hate abovementioned icky facecrawlers, and however tight with a buck we may also be, we would not go to the lengths these ladies have.

Unless we were really desperate, and when does that ever happen, eh? Don’t answer that.

WE AT THE OL’ RAINCOASTER BLOG ASSUME NO LIABILITY IF YOU GLUE YOUR FACE SHUT. AND WE WILL LAUGH AT YOU CRUELLY AND TAUNT YOU AND TELL YOU YOU LOOK LIKE IVANA TRUMP, REALLY WE WILL.

Who’d have thought?

Elmer’s glue works just as well as Biore strips. Have you ever slathered the glue on your hands and watched it dry and then peeled it off? Spread a little glue on your acne-prone area and let it dry. Then, peel it off. It will “grab” every little particle of dirt and lift it away.
Stephanie

Another Elmer’s Glue Proponent

This substitute peel-off mask idea comes from Looking Good Newsletter.

You know those strips you can buy to remove blackheads and dirt from your face? Yep, they’re not cheap. There is another way to achieve the same results and at a cost of pennies, or less. It’s Elmer’s Glue. You heard me, good old fashioned Elmer’s Glue that most of us grew up using for one thing or another.

Apply a layer of glue on your face, concentrating on the nose area if that is a problem area for you. Let it dry completely and peel off as you would with a peel-off mask. Rinse what residue doesn’t come off when peeling. Feel your skin. Pretty nice, huh? Follow with a toner if you like.

Elmer’s Glue disclaimer: When using Elmer’s Glue as a beauty treatment, one should make sure they are not allergic to the product. While I don’t know the statistics of “Elmer’s Glue allergy,” there is a chance that someone, somewhere, is allergic to the stuff. Also, I would like to add that when applying glue to your face, it is not advisable to apply glue anywhere near the eyes to prevent the possibly hazardous “Glued Eye Syndrome.” Likewise for the mouth area.
A

Oh, I can think of a few people I wouldn’t mind giving a “Mouth strip facial” to.

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