Category Archives: Singles

The Manolo sez: help The Hoff

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From, obviously, The Manolo, with whose suggestion we beg to differ. Photobucket - Video and Image HostingSeems The Hoff is looking for a lovely lady to swank with him through the sad remains of his life as a popcult oddity.

Former Baywatch star David Hasselhoff is refusing to allow his recent divorce get him down – he already has plans to find a new “chick”…

He says, “I’m coming to England in September and I want to find myself a beautiful girlfriend. But I don’t want some dumb blonde. I’d like a woman who’s really intelligent.

“I saw this girl recently who must have stepped out of the office during her lunch break and was wearing work clothes and glasses, and I thought to myself, ‘That’s what I want, a chick who’s career-orientated.’”

Think of the lifestyle available to the consort of an icon such as The Hoff: rivers of champanski on the house, the valet lets you jump the line when picking up your Acura, unlimited partying with other superannuated action figures such as Jan-Michael Vincent and their wizened, bleached concubines of the moment, and fighting off hordes of deluded German blondes…ah, that’s the C-list life!

We at the raincoaster blog have a suggestion for the trophy doxy.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Think about it. She comes with her own load of Internet infamy. She’s already both famous and notorious worldwide, so it’s inconceiveable she’s not already popular in Germany. She’s apparently going to star in the Spanish Big Brother, despite perhaps not even speaking the language. She’s legal. And, most importantly, she’s an engineer, so when it comes time for The Hoff to capitalize on the new Knight Rider movie, she’ll undoubtably be able to whip up a new KITT for the occasion.

A match made in Internet Infamy heaven.

OGMD: sometimes a meme can easily be seen

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petting Coulter

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Ann Coulter, 45It’s all so sordid. Not content with confusing Canada for Amerika Jr and recommending the proactive execution of American liberals, Metro tells us that everyone’s favorite 45-year-old Republican bottle blonde fake & bake twinkie harridan is smearing the reputation of an innocent 7-year-old, merely by association.

Is nothing sacred?

SFGate has the full report, including Coulter‘s location in a so-called “petting” zoo, plus the graphic proof that Coulter particularly enjoys the use of “toys”.

A follow-up visit shows that the similarities are Coulter enjoys toysplentiful: Both have a long mane of blonde hair and legs that are thin enough to comfortably slip a LiveStrong silicone bracelet on the lower thigh. And whether it’s fair or not, many a liberal blogger has pointed out that Ann Coulter‘s head does have some equine qualities.

Now, that’s not really fair. We all know where the true comparison lies.

Afghann Coulter

Judge for yourself, though:

Coulter, poor Coulter

face of Jesus/Che found on sushi

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Face of ... somebodyorother on a shrimpWell, the guy who sent the pictures in claims it’s Jesus, but Jesus’ General, who knows Jesus and Commies when he sees ’em, says it’s actually a shrimp with a picture of Che Guevera, and no doubt a dastardly plot to pull us away from Jesus and towards the ungodly worship of socialist shellfish.

Judge for thyself. 

SAN JOSE, Calif. — A California man believes he has seen the face of Jesus Christ on a shrimp tail…

The man wrote that he wanted to share with viewers a smile and a sense of hope…

The writer said he believed it was a sign, as he’s currently going through a nasty divorce.

It’s a sign, sweetie, that you need to get out more. And when that advice is coming from me, it’s really serious.

Che, hey hey!

AbFab’s Patsy and Eddie: a brief introduction

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which is a title that just works on so many levels. I remember the first time I saw Patsy; I’d just switched the television on and there was a tall, superannuated model crawling across some woman’s bed saying, “darling, do you have any knickers? I’ve left mine somewhere.”

I think it was a traffic island she’d left them at, but I can’t remember any better than she can.

Anyway, for those of you who are straight men or hermits, who took the test and still don’t know how to interpret the results, here is a brief introduction to Absolutely Fabulous. Patsy’s the slutty ex-transexual Bond Girl, Eddie is the short, Buddhist limousine liberal PR. You may have heard about the show as the last thing Roseanne Barr ruined with her poison touch, just before losing her career and finding Kabbalah.