tombstoning with style

Now this, ladies and gentlemen, is how not to tombstone:

A 25-year-old holidaymaker faces being permanently disabled after a “tombstoning” accident.

Police said the man from Sheffield sustained a “life changing injury” when he jumped into the water of the Isles of Scilly, 28 miles west of Land’s End…

The accident on Friday is the latest casualty resulting from “tombstoning” – jumping off cliffs, piers, harbour walls or other high points into water.

Across the country the activity causes about 200 serious injuries a year and claims about 15 lives.

And here is the late, great Merv Griffin to show us all how to do it right:

Merv Griffin’s Tombstone

“When Eva Gabor was still alive, she’d get up early at the ranch, and when I’d get up an hour later, I’d walk down to the stable, and every horse in the pasture would have red lipstick on it.”
Merv Griffin

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when homonyms attack!

HOMOnyms? What kind of word is that?

Another instant classic from DCLugi. Can’t we all just get along?

He’s got a point about the crackers…

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and now, we Batusi

At last, a practical reason to study math!

Santa, baby, you’re looking a little rough

Remember that classic phenomenon of the internets, Elf Bowling? Sure you do. If you don’t, download it from here. Be sure to get versions #1 and 2, which are the best. Skip #4 if you value your computer and your time.

Backstory: the elves go on strike. “Higher wages, lower urinals” all that kind of thing. And Santa retaliates, and retaliates hard.

Let’s see how that same premise applies to the WGA writer’s strike in a video starring Ashton Kutcher as Santa and Demi Moore as his piece of venison on the side…

via Defamer

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Elf you, the Musical!

Oh my, this IS random.

And NSFW, lingo-wise.

As near as I can make out, it’s some kind of pervy European Keebler elf frat house theme song, subtitled. If you speak… uh, elvish, by all means provide a translation!