finger cymbals too loud? problem solved: crocheted zill covers

UPDATE: “Fans” tag added. Click through to the comments for a classic example of the pathology.

zills, yo, nekkid as God and Allah intended 

From the department of WTF comes these step-by-step instructions for making your own finger cymbal covers for the pampered, crocheting bellydancer that lives deep in your soul.

Now, it may surprise you to know that I have bellydanced; I would not characterize myself as a bellydancer any more than as a toothbrusher, but I’m better than a beginner even if that damn reverse camel still throws my back out (and I defy anyone to maintain a good seat on a reversing camel without damaging one vertebra, or at least snapping the elastic on it).

And I have zills. From Saudi Arabia. Smuggled in my mother’s luggage (I wish I could claim it was sewn into the lining of her fur coat, but what the hell would she be doing in Riyadh in a fur coat unless it was protecting herself from the omnipresent aggressive, Antarctic airconditioning, or even perhaps wrapped in her silken unmentionables, but my mother, glam though her latter years were, preferred unmentionables of practical and sturdy 100% cotton or sometimes even nylon, and all the colours of the beige Canadian rainbow, so yeah, maybe wrapped in a pair of buttercup yellow size L granny panties, woohoo, James Bond eat your heart out) or was it in a box marked “Sand” so the customs inspectors didn’t open it up? Yeah, either they have very stupid export customs inspectors in Saudi Arabia or the CIA is using “Sand” as a code word, and given the company my mother kept in Riyadh, I’m betting the latter and the customs inspectors have been told to lay off.

Zills. It’s a blog post about zill covers.

In any case, whether you’re a bellydancer or not, good or bad, the first thing you notice about zills is: they make a lot of noise.

It’s sort of what they’re for.

So we at the ol’ raincoaster blog were somewhat nonplussed and even subtractussed to see instructions for crocheting home-made zill mufflers, it being said that, lo, they were like, so way noisy.

Or maybe that’s just me.

the zill covers, back viewIn any case, the covers themselves are pretty enough, and in a nice, sparkly yarn might even add a tantalizing “you can glimpse the zill, but you cannot touch it” piquance to the zill-dancing experience, or perhaps that is only for those who identify too closely with inanimate brass objects, not that we know anyone like that around here.

the zill covers, front viewIn any case, the zills generally sound quite pretty even if you don’t know what you’re doing. We at the ol’ raincoaster blog can only pray that this twisted genius turns her attention next to something of more practical utility, such as:

  • violin mufflers
  • clarinet covers
  • accordion muffs
  • cymbal socks

Your suggestions?

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why can’t we make a display of politicians instead?

A silly question, I know. Who would pay to see them?

Unless it involved something quite entertaining with a donkey and maybe a couple of tame bears, that is?

leonardo da vinci the annunciation

It looks like Canada doesn’t have a lock on useless and mendacious politicians, as the Italian Minister of Culture has approved a plan to send the Annunciation, one of Leonardo da Vinci‘s early masterpieces across the ocean to Japan in order to…um…foster international goodwill and…possibly…just possibly…make quite a raging snotload of money for the Italian government; this despite the very real danger to the irreplaceable 600-year-old painting.

Because, of course, Japan does not have the Internets.

And Japan does not have books.

And Japan does not have secure, online ordering.

And Japan does not have any way of shipping people to the mainland, whence they can make their way Italy-ward. That path has never been trod.

Look, I’m all about the democratization of information and the removal of class and economic barriers to the appreciation of art, but at a certain point of veniality and political expedience you make the survival of art itself subservient to political means, and this attempt to move an irreplaceable masterwork is well past that point. There is no reason to toss this into a crate, however high-tech a crate, and ship it to Japan except to make money and connections in high places.

The art experts oppose the move. Self-serving politicians support it. Take your pick of two admittedly distasteful teams. At least there’s one senator in Rome who remembers how to behave: he’s chained himself to the pillars of the Uffizi until the shipment is cancelled.

An Italian senator chained himself to a column near the gates of the Uffizi museum Monday to protest the loan of Leonardo da Vinci‘s “Annunciation” for a show at Japan’s National Museum in Tokyo.

The “Annunciation” is one of Leonardo‘s early works, painted between 1472-1475 when the master was in his early 20s. It depicts the archangel Gabriel revealing to the Virgin Mary that she is pregnant.

The 15th-century masterpiece will be shown in Tokyo from March 20 through June 17 as part of “Italian Spring,” a series of events promoting Italian culture and products.

In protesting the loan, Sen. Paolo Amato said it exposes a priceless masterpiece to unnecessary risk and belittles its significance by using it in a commercial event…

Acidini also said the box carrying the painting was safe and equipped with special sensors that signal alterations in the conditions or internal crashes. The system has to be switched off during the flight but can be used to monitor the painting during road transportation…

Because nothing bad ever happens in-flight.

If you can’t bloody well afford to go to the Uffizi and see the work where it is, you shouldn’t demand that it be shipped over the ocean just so you can eyeball it, particularly when there are giclee prints that the average post-prandial eye can’t distinguish from original vision in the first place.

If you can travel, do. If you can read, do. If you can write to Rutelli and say your piece, in whatever language, I encourage you to do so. The solid reassurances he’s given that the crate will be monitored add up to nothing more than an elaborate, “When something goes wrong we’ll be the first to know!” and when has this ever been enough, when dealing with politicians looking for the main chance?

Dick Cheney has a pacemaker: you don’t see him relying on a stethoscope.

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pic o’ the day: Pareledone turqueti

Pareldedone Turqueti

Betcha didn’t know there was an Antarctic Octopus, eh? But seriously, how could there not be, given the presence of the Underground Lake of Gigantic Albino Penguins and A Few Feral Shoggoths? You so should have seen this coming.

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from Kazakhstan, with love

From India, with lovefor realz. This is not some Borat-inspired joke, this is the real thing. Stolen from Gawker.

Dear Sir/Madam, The Cultural Center of Kazakhstan, Inc. in New York proudly presents the Project “From Kazakhstan with Love”, which will take place on 24 March of 2007. This event will allow professional ballet masters, singers and musicians from country of Republic of Kazakhstan, to have an opportunity to show their master skills and top level of the arts of the Republic of Kazakhstan in the city of New York. The participants will perform alongside with the distinguished American performers and American Kazakhstan performers, achieved a high recognition abroad as Prima Ballerina of New Jersey State Theater Saule Rakhmedova, Ballet dancer Tuvshin Bold, and a winner of the International competitions pianist Alia Alhan Malkeeva. The performances will take place on of the best stage of the city New York, at the Time Warnerner building Allen Hall (capacity of 427 people). The importance of this event is essential for the promotion of the culture of the Republic of Kazakhstan in the United States, and especially in the city of New York, which is considered as the Capital of the World for the arts and music. While living in the United States, we still struggle to explain what is our beloved country, and we dream of the great and peaceful representation of our country here through the cosmopolitan language of the arts.. We also offering the presence of your representative on these events, where we assure you the best attention and care of the arrived guests and free tickets for this events. Under your decision we are offering the speech of your representative on the events. We would like to kindly request your help for the successful completion of this event. Your help could be addressed to the Cultural center of Kazakhstan, Inc. bank account, through the web site of the organization. We are officially assuring you to follow all of your requests.Sincerely,
President of The Cultural Center of Kazakhstan, Inc,
Alia Alhan Mal’keeva, Ph.D.
www.kzculture.com

From Russia, with love. Not Kazakhstan

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Please Mr Prime Minister…

Please Mr Prime Minister

That is a letter from a nine-year-old Canadian boy named Kevin, who is being held without bail and without charges in the T. Don Hutto Family Detention Center in central Texas.

The Globe and Mail has the report (via Fark):

…“My biggest wish is to go to Canada and be free, to go to my school, go for my books,” Kevin said, his father’s voice audible in the background.

“I want to be safe with me and my parents, and see my teachers and my friends again…”

Majid and Masomeh — they prefer their last name not be used — initially fled Iran for Canada in January, 1995, to seek political asylum. Majid did odd jobs, eventually becoming manager of an east Toronto pizza parlour, paying the rent for their one-bedroom apartment.

In 1997, their only son, Kevin, was born. “For the first time, I was happy,” Majid said from the Hutto detention facility.

“I had my family with me — it’s the only family I have — we didn’t have any problems and we lived happy in Toronto.”

That changed when their refugee claim was denied, after ten years in Canada; deported back to Iran, Majid was beaten, tortured and imprisoned (which you’d think would make convincing enough evidence that, in Iran, he’d be subject to beatings, torture and imprisonment, but that’s another matter entirely…moving on…). Escaping again through the help of people smugglers, the family was on their way back to Toronto bearing false Greek passports when a fellow passenger suffered a heart attack and the plane was forced to land in Puerto Rico.

Because Greek passport-bearers need a visa to enter the US, the family was shipped off to imprisonment in Texas. Even had the passports been legitimate, this would have been their fate, according to US officials, although really one has to wonder if they’ve detained many blond, blue-eyed people lacking the proper visas…

Next time you get on a plane, make sure to amuse yourself and your fellow passengers by giving out free ECG tests in the waiting area. Don’t take chances.

More of Kevin‘s letters are in this Globe and Mail slideshow.

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