it’s a small, nasty world, after all

Forgive me; this is going to be a post with the bare minimum of reflection in it, at least until the comments section, because quite frankly I really don’t want to know what I think or how I feel about this. Right now I have to say I’d prefer neither to think about this, nor to have feelings about it, or even at all

It’s been five years since I felt sorry for Trevor Greene.

Trevor Greene CivilianTrevor Greene is a dynamic, innovative and well-traveled individual with over 15 years of experience in writing and reporting. He is a speaker of three languages, a published author, an entrepreneur, a trained and experienced liaison officer, and has eight years of highly regarded service in the Canadian Armed Forces.

Greene joined the Vancouver bureau of Bloomberg News as a general assignment reporter on business and finance in Canada and Asia. He also began researching and writing about the so-called poorest postal code in Canada; Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside.

He wrote his first nonfiction book in Canada, Bad Date: The Lost Girls of Vancouver’s Low Track, about the women who have gone missing from the Downtown Eastside over the past 15 years. Bad Date was published in November 2001. Some of his present entrepreneurial projects include an eco-tourism venture and a community volunteer consulting company.

Greene is an officer in the Seaforth Highlanders, a Vancouver-based primary reserve infantry unit, where his main duties are domestic emergency and disaster response, and community and civilian agency liaison. At time of writing he was also preparing for a six-month army deployment to Afghanistan in 2006 as part of Operation Archer.

Greene lives on a boat docked at Fisherman’s Wharf on Vancouver’s Granville Island. He speaks English, Japanese and French.

In 1993, while living in Japan, he’d written a critically-lauded book Bridge of Tears on the taboo subject of Japanese homelessness. Socially-conscious from the beginning, his latest project was a venture philanthropy initiative, encouraging fat cats to invest in Afghanistan’s rebuilding.

Bad DateIn 2001 his new book Bad Date:The Lost Girls of Vancouver’s Low Track, the first on the Missing Women case, had just come out to cautiously positive reviews. 

Over two years, Greene spent just about every day in the impoverished neighbourhood, eventually earning the trust of prostitutes, police and the families left behind. He paints a graphic picture of life in the ‘s most drug-addicted neighbourhood.

“What I was shocked at is the violence that is perpetrated on these women by normal, everyday johns every single day,” Greene said in an interview.

Nobody really wanted to be seen crowing about a book that laid out the fact that there was a serial killer on the loose in Vancouver. Unfortunately for Trevor Greene’s book (which I immediately bought because I was working on what I figured would be the SECOND book about the case), a few weeks after it came out Willy Pickton was arrested for those murders, essentially rendering Greene’s book, with its many theories and free-floating, faceless menace, obsolete.

I felt sorry for the lad.

A few months later, my friend Miss V asked me if I knew him; he’d applied for membership in her Social Empire. I said we’d never met, but that I knew his writing from the book as well as his social journalism pieces in the Georgia Straight, and he seemed like an earnest, educated, and interesting guy, not the fashionista A-List type (this was in the days before “metrosexual” was a term, but after it had become a lifestyle). No idea if she let him in or not, but smart money says yes.

Then, not one word from that time to this. Vancouver’s a small town. Six degrees of separation do not apply; six degrees do not exist. In this city, it’s two, at most three. Jounalists grow wary of chatting about stories, not for fear of being overheard and scooped, but because it’s quite likely that the barista, or the blonde at the next table, or someone else within earshot, is sleeping with/related to/BFF with the subject of the article.

Today, at the Shebeen Club, I found out the latest about Trevor Greene.

It happened in Shinkay. The man just can’t pick a good neighborhood.

Canadian Soldier Wounded in Afghan Ambush

The axe assault that badly injured a Canadian soldier was part of a deliberate ambush as troops met with village elders in southern Afghanistan, the military says.

Lieut. Trevor Greene, a journalist and former navy officer from Vancouver, suffered a serious head wound during the meeting near the small Canadian outpost at Gumbad, about 70 kilometres north of Kandahar.

Capt. Kevin Schamuhn, the commander who was leading the expedition, told CBC News that the Canadian troops had already visited several villages during the day to attend shuras, or meetings with village elders.

He said all of them had been peaceful events where they shared lunch or tea and introduced themselves.

The Canadians took off their helmets and put down their guns as they usually do to reassure villagers that they were friendly.

“There was no weird feelings. There was no gut feeling that something was about to go down. Everything was very calm and similar to the previous meetings.”

A minute later, a man who appeared to be less than 20 walked up behind Greene and pulled a half-metre-long axe out from underneath his clothes.

“He pulled an axe out from underneath his clothing and lifted right above his head, standing right behind Trevor,” said Schamuhn, who was sitting only about a metre away.

As he lifted up the axe, the man shouted “Allahu Akbar,” which means “God is great” in Arabic.

Then, said Schamuhn, “he swung the axe into Trevor’s head.”

“He was just really set on helping these people and doing it right. He’s just really well-spoken and mature. …He was just really looking forward to helping these people.”

He was shipped out to a military hospital in Germany immediately, via Black Hawk helicopter. After two months in critical care there, one week ago he was transferred to Vancouver General Hospital.

The emotional father of a Canadian soldier seriously wounded in an axe attack in Afghanistan welcomed his son home Tuesday, saying he’s improving every day.

Richard Greene said his son, Trevor, has been breathing on his own for the past four days and even managed to move his legs while in hospital in Germany.

“That apparently has some significance and we believe it (does.) We’re confident he’ll recover completely,” said Greene. “He’s just received great care.”

Greene had to pause to compose himself.

He said his son has received e-mails of support from around the world. Greene read them to his comatose son in Germany.

Greene described Trevor as “quite a lad.”

Richard Greene said Trevor volunteered to go to Afghanistan and hoped he could later get some experience at the United Nations.

“We’re very proud of him,” said Greene. 

His writing partner has put up a page on their website for the media. I’ll paste it here, with a couple of spam-reducing edits.

A Message to the Media and Concerned Canadians
 

From Shane Gibson co-author and friend of Trevor Greene

Thank-you for all of your prayers and concern for Trevor at this time.  I have passed on your well wishes to his family and those closest to him.  At this time I will not be commenting on interviews in regards to Trevor’s situation until he and his family give me the okay.His family is busy praying and hoping for the best and I will forward any requests to make statements or comments directly to them.  Just drop an e-mail to shane at closingbigger dot com. At this time I have been asked not to disclose their contact details.Trevor is very professional in everything he does.  This includes keeping in the strictest confidence the nature of his military responsibilities and past experiences while serving our country.  Your best source of information is from the Department of National Defense.Here’s what I can be quoted on:
 
“Trevor is a talented author, an amazing Dad and partner, the kind of person you can count on always. He is deeply committed to protecting and preserving the freedoms we enjoy as Canadians.”

Kindest Regards,

Shane Gibson

Trevor Greene

Agony for Ermine

Agony Column

 

Special-Interest Agony Column from The Independent.

 

For those of you who haven’t been following the cash-for-ermine scandal (and those Limeys do need help figuring out catchy names for scandals, don’t they?) I would expect you can pick it up as you go along. As, indeed, Mr. Blair seems to have done ever since he was elected.

 

Miles Kington:

 Noblesse Oblige

 – just don’t tell Jack Dromey

 

 

Q. My name is Edward Carr-Bootle. I recently lent a large sum of money to the Labour Party on the understanding that my wife, Lavinia, should become Lady Lavinia. I have now been told that this is not possible, and that I must accept a title as well. I don’t want a title. It’s only her that wants a title. I refuse to accept a title as a matter of principle, being a man of the people, even if I am married to an ambitious, upwardly mobile woman who is desperate to enter society at any level. I don’t mind what she gets up to, but I am anxious to retain my roots. Can we not be known as Mr and Lady Lavinia Carr-Bootle?

A. No.

Q. I recently acquired a title (Lord L’Oréal) in return for a loan to the Labour Party of £500,000. They have recently repaid the loan and now say that they want the title back. It was never made clear to me that the title was only a loan as well. Do I really have to give the title back? I have come to enjoy the little perks that go with possessing a title, such as running up huge bills, getting tables in restaurants and hobnobbing with Melvyn Bragg. I would be distressed to go back to the old humdrum days as a plain Mister. Is there no way I can keep the title?

A. No.

Q. My name is Frank Chattle and through no fault of my own I have become a millionaire in the London Olympics Futures business. (Briefly, this involved buying up huge swathes of property in the areas where they would be likely to put the swimming pools and cycle tracks if they got the Games for London, so that I could then sell out at a huge profit. This I have now done, but there is a lot of risk involved in this. For instance, I know a bloke who did the same thing in Paris, gambling on the fact that France would get the Games, and he is now lumbered with a lot of run-down property, I can tell you, hence the recent riots, whereas I am sitting pretty.) Where was I? Oh, yes – anyway, I feel a bit guilty about making such an enormous profit out of the London bid, so I have donated a million quid to the Labour party, and now they are trying to insist that I take a title for my pains. Well, blimey, I don’t want a title! I don’t want to be Lord Velodrome or whatever. For one thing, it might alert the tax people to my little schemes. For another, I like being plain Frank Chattle. Is there any way I can avoid being titled?

A. No.

Q. My father, Lord Wansdyke, recently died, and being his eldest son I inherited the title and became Lord Wansdyke. Three days after I took on the title, I received a bill from the Parliamentary Labour Party for £1m. At first I thought it was for death duties, but I now think that they assume I bought the title. Doesn’t the Labour Party know there are still other ways of acquiring a title apart from a cash purchase?

A. No.

Q. Every time you get a scandal these days, it turns out that somebody involved is married to someone in the government. David Mills, who is said to have taken money from Berlusconi, was married to Tessa Jowell. Jack Dromey, the man who blew the whistle on the titles-for-loans scam, is married to Harriet Harman. So, was Berlusconi after an English peerage, then? Alternatively, wouldn’t it be easier to make him Lord Dromey and shut him up?

A. No.

Q. I can’t help noticing that you advice service is remarkably monosyllabic and unhelpful. Why aren’t you giving people a proper advice service? Incidentally, I enclose a cheque for £250,000 to help cover your expenses in this venture.

A. Now you’re talking! Under separate cover I am enclosing a small unwanted knighthood, and also a signed copy of my best-selling booklet: “How To Turn Your Title Into Hard Cash And Go Straight To the Top Of The Queue“.  

Linkie: The Book of Ratings, Canadian Snack Food Edition

Bob and Doug

Here, by way of the Brunching Shuttlecocks is the Book of Ratings’ opinion on Canadian Snack Foods. Apparently, the specific gravity of each snack food is vitally important for some reason; the site author is Scandinavian, so perhaps that has something to do with it.

O little Magnus, you know your papa and I don’t want you putting anything in your mouth unless it floats in freshwater! Only the Laplanders would do such a thing!” 

Crunchie is way better than this furriner says (couldna gotten through figure skating without it), and NOBODY disses our Smarties. I’m kind of glad they’re all dead, stupid blogs.

Ketchup Potato Chips
Good god! (“Mon dieu!”) These are actually good! Really good. So good that I was able to get past the unnerving phrase “simulated ketchup flavour.” The important thing here is that they don’t really taste all that much like ketchup (“ketchup”). They’re kind of like vinegar chips crossed with barbecue chips crossed with, well, ketchup. Only good! Much better than you’re imagining! It’s like really gross food, only made by Jesus. Also, they float. A-

what planet did you say you were from again?

Show me! Show you!Kikkoman

Kikkoman! Kikkoman!

He came from the planet of soy

Warrior of justice, Kikkoman!

Yes, that’s what the world truly needs: a bisexual, fish-headed, soy-based sauce-themed beefcake porn cartoon superhero with a motorcycle, a white cat, a youthful “ward,” a seductive female adversary, a loincloth, and a propensity for standing on top of telephone poles in high winds. Look, up in the sky…it’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a suspiciously elevated white loincloth!

Fun with Dorks

Because all dorks are not created equal. Lord of the Rings dorks, ferinstance, are unequal, generally being superior, particularly to the kind of dork who sees your “186,000 miles per second isn’t just a good idea: it’s the Law” Einstein t-shirt and comes over to say “Actually, it’s 186,282.397 miles per second,” and then wonders why he sleeps alone.

And if you still doubt the Bond-like coolitude of LOTR fans, you can look here, here, here, or here for proof of cred, you doubting trolls! Meanwhile, you can enjoy this stunning work of art, a video of the SandwichQuest of the Rohirrim and the Last Snack Ride of Theoden. Remember to bring a hankie for the melodramatic finale!

Comments by the Author(s) of Theoden, Horsemaster

A little movie about Theoden, King of the Mark. Theoden PlateWe made this as a little “preview” for the third installment of our Lord of the Rings Parody: Special Edition. The storyline is made all by ourselfs, we came up with the idea during Return of the King. If you like Lord of the Rings, you’ll probably like this as well. We hoped it would be a small/short movie, but as you can see it turned out to be quite different. Enjoy!

* Team Lorio *

P.S. December 17 – Happy Birthday to Bernard Hill!!!

And from the same awe-inspiring team of filmmakers, we have this, the shortest of all LOTR musicals, which features a special guest star, sure to be popular with those loyal Gilbert & Sullivan fans, our fogey contingent.