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TWAT: the war against t-shirts

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the war against tees

That’s a fine looking fellow, the guy on the left. And a fine looking shirt he’s got on, too. Can you read it? I can’t, which is why I had to read the article about him and his shirt and why it’s illegal at JFK.

The article that informs me that it is now illegal to wear a shirt with Arabic writing on it in American airports.

Yes, TWAT is now The War Against Tees.

Then I once again asked the three of them : “How come you are asking me to change my t-shirt? Isn’t this my constitutional right to wear it? I am ready to change it if you tell me why I should. Do you have an order against Arabic t-shirts? Is there such a law against Arabic script?”

so inspector Harris answered “you can’t wear a t-shirt with Arabic script and come to an airport. It is like wearing a t-shirt that reads “I am a robber” and going to a bank”.

I said “but the message on my t-shirt is not offensive, it just says “we will not be silent“. I got this t-shirt from Washington DC. There are more than a 1000 t-shirts printed with the same slogan, you can google them or email them at wewillnotbesilent@gmail.com . It is printed in many other languages: Arabic, Farsi, Spanish, English, etc.”

Inspector Harris said: “We cant make sure that your t-shirt means we will not be silent, we don’t have a translator. Maybe it means something else”.

I said: “But as you can see, the statement is in both Arabic and English“.

He said “maybe it is not the same message“…

At the point of almost missing his flight, he allows JetBlue to buy him another shirt to wear over the “illegal” one. Apparently, lots of people had called and ratted him out. Remind me to dig out the story of my Arabic necklace and the nice lady at US Customs and Immigration.

I put the t-shirt on and removed the price tag. I told the four people who were involved in the conversation: “I feel very sad that my personal freedom was taken away like this. I grew up under authoritarian governments in the Middle East, and one of the reasons I chose to move to the US was that I don’t want an officer to make me change my t-shirt. I will pursue this incident today through a Constitutional rights organization, and I am sure we will meet soon”.

If you want to call Jet Blue and ask about their regulations against Arabic script, you can use the following numbers:
* If calling within the U.S., Bahamas or Puerto Rico: 1-800-JETBLUE (538-2583)
* If calling from the Dominican Republic: 1-200-9898
* If calling from outside the U.S. or Dominican Republic: 001-801-365-2525
* Customers who are deaf or heard of hearing (TTY/TDD): 1-800-336-553

Raed Jarrar’s blog Raed in the middle

this man has ten inches, huge stones

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This aught to be good for hits: welcome, pervs!

via Fark. Seriously, this man has ten inches, huge stones, and they’re worth a helluva lot of money. Check them out:

Twin EmeraldsYou would have to admit, looking at them, that those are some seriously impressive rocks.

And much easier to make into decorative accessories, don’t you think?

According to this report, there are ten inches and 581 carats of emerald there, not exactly gem quality (note the chartreuse colour, rather than…uh…emerald green) but it would still make a pretty nifty museum exhibit.

Not to mention it would make the world’s prettiest and most expensive wind chimes, should he care to sliver some slices off.

I shall leave you with this image, from the article.

“I had a fit,” the ever-energetic Hill said Thursday. “I about hyperventilated.”

After Hill cleaned up … and his staff took photos of him holding it, he laid it in a box filled with cotton batting and called his marketing consultants.

Who probably spent too much time working up a press release and not nearly enough asking bloggers to come up with dirty headlines!

Survivor: South Park Tribes

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South Park Tribes

From Defamer, cuz you just knew they were gonna be all over this story.

So it seems that the Australian genius behind Survivor isn’t completely immune to stereotypically uh…Australian behavior. He and his flying monkeys at the prodco have decided that what Survivor really needs is blatant racial conflict, and who among us can say they’re wrong?

I’m of the opinion that what it needs is a swift dose of euthanasia, but that’s just me…

Yes, this year for Survivor: Cook Island, they’re dividing the teams up by race. Simple, efficient, and already worth about 30,000 words of press.

The Defamer commentors have all the best lines in this case, not to mention the best illustration, which I stole and posted above.

BoHan says:

Scientology vs. Kaballah. That would rock. Plus you wouldn’t have to search to hard to find the token gay person. I’ve heard of one Scientologist today whose dance card is now wide open.

and the immortal:

Toothy_Tile says:

Welcome to CBS’ “Fun with outdated stereotypes and gross generalizations!” This will be a difficult one to handicap. With no cars to drive on the island, Team Asian‘s traditional achilles heel will be out of the picture. Team Latino will be pretty good at gathering the fruits and vegetables, no doubt. Team African-American will of course sweep the athletic challenges.

Team Whitey can go a few different ways, of course. If the team is mostly Jewish, it’ll waste its time starting conflicts and lending conch-shells-as-currency to the other teams, which will distract it from the challenges at hand. If the team is mostly Italian-American, expect the other teams to suffer random kneecap injuries, and lots of impromptu ways of cooking maggots and cockroaches in marinara sauce. And if the team is WASPy, expect it to get ahead by hacking into the other teams’ Sidekicks, spewing racial epithets all around, opening an outdoor nightclub or boutique hotel on the Westside of Cook Island, and gaining extra boosts of energy by doing lines of coke off of stray coconut husks.

FurtherMore Marketing Tips for Hookers

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From the Archive, see also Part One:

Friday, September 20, 2002

5) Look for Synergies

It’s an entertainment business. Look for ways to leverage other entertainments and marketing efforts. Comme ca:

a) The MinuteLube had a sign: IN AND OUT IN FIFTEEN MINUTES, SATISFACTION GUARANTEED.

There was a hooker standing under it.

b) When the Canucks were in the playoffs, you could see every hooker in Mount Pleasant wearing Canucks tees, which is fine, but one large Native woman took it even farther, holding up a large sign that offered “free extras” if the Canucks won. I wonder what the extras were…

Reservoir Thunderbirds

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Sorry for the unexpected time off. I can only say that the single best way to mess yourself up for three consecutive days is to try to switch from nocturnal to diurnal within a 24-hour period. I dread the thought of checking email.

Meanwhile, watch this; it’s funny.