Category Archives: Vancouver

The Not-So-Happy Wanderer

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Maria and I are in perfect agreement here

Maria and I are in perfect agreement here

Yodelei-oh-fuckit.

So. Yellowknife. So. Vancouver. I realize that the housing situation is tight up here, but is there really any excuse for what just happened to me?

I moved up here at the beginning of July and, thanks to a commenter on one of my blogs who lives in Yellowknife but was wanting to go South for the summer without paying $1300 a month in rent for a place she was not using, walked right into a sweet sublet three or four blocks from work and with lovely and copious light. The plan was, she’d stay down South till September at least, which was awesome for me, as by then it would be clear both to me and to The Boss whether or not this “employment” experiment (as opposed to the last decade and a bit of self-employment) had been a success.

Didn’t work out that way: the Southerly situation was untenable, I’d left my apartment in NO CONDITION for a swap (trust me, I’m sure the ravens on the patio were gossiping about the state of the living room), and she was coming back. So there I was, facing August with no place to stay and a VERY tight rental market, when I got an email from my Co-op back in Vancouver, where I had left all my stuff because moving it into storage wouldn’t have saved me anything at all, once you factor in the move itself.

They doubled my rent.

Imagine my joy.

Yep, I’m employed now (albeit in a temporary, probationary position which could terminate at any moment) and so the benevolent hippies decided that it was appropriate to increase my housing charges to the point where my monthly housing fees in Vancouver and Yellowknife actually exceed my net income. They may exceed my gross income, too, but I’m too nauseated even to contemplate the grosses, and who among you can blame me? Eh? I ask yez.

That situation lasted about a week when I found a friend-of-a-friend who had an extra bedroom in her house for $600 per month, which was awesome (though I half expected Vancouver to raise my rent AGAIN when they found out I was saving money!) and it even came with a washer and dryer. The house was toured, issues were discussed, and we left, to my recollection, with an agreement that unless something went really sideways and one of us contacted the other to say so, all was good for my moving in on the first of August.

Cut to the first of August. Today.

Picture a smiling icecoaster coming up the sidewalk, friend with carload of my things idling at the curb. Picture said friend-of-a-friend coming out to meet me with what can only be described as a shit-eating grin on her face (note: does not mean what you think it means. means this instead).

Oh, guess what. Sorry I didn’t get back to you. I’ve been offline. Camping, actually. So you couldn’t have gotten in touch with me but, anyway, when I didn’t hear from you I just, you know, sort of figured I’d just go ahead and change my mind. Sorryyyyyy. So, yeah.

So.

It’s a good thing I’ve been scouting out charities to volunteer for, because at least I am well-informed about homeless shelter options in Yellowknife.

When the snows set in I'll kill my Tauntaun.

When the snows set in I'll kill my Tauntaun.

File Under: Things That Make Me Homesick

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20110801-112748.jpg

Sigh. So this weekend the sun came out in Vancouver, it was Pride, Illuminares, and the Symphony of Fire. Yeah, I know you’re not supposed to gripe, but well, goddam. The only thing I was gonna do up here this weekend was check out the “cariboo-hair tufting workshop” and the damn festival got rained out.

Symphony of Fire boater by Jonah Lewis

Symphony of Fire boater by Jonah Lewis

Sigh. I miss the days when Illuminares was at Trout Lake, and was awesome. This year it was in Coal Harbour, and was, apparently, somewhat less awesome for that reason.

Farther from the hippies=less awesome, duh!

I heart East Van too!

I heart East Van too!

But it must be said, the view from Kits and downtown is pretty impressive, especially during fireworks.

Symphony of Fire 2010

Symphony of Fire 2010

And then there are the more flamboyant events, like, say PRIDE:

I think you can try the two wheeler next year; you're a big girl now

I think you can try the two wheeler next year; you

and I love the way families come out to support the parade and even rapacious corporations get into the spirit. Or maybe not so rapacious: that’s not so much in the parade as in the back at the Pumpjack.

I'm WestJet. Fly Me!

I

and, back in The Hood, the Powell Street Festival. This is the one that started off the Homesick Sulks for me, bigtime. Probably because it doesn’t look like any damn thing to any damn one who doesn’t know that this used to be called Needle Park, and was so called for very good reason. I’m glad I lived there long enough to witness the change.

Vancouverites may begin arguing about “gentrification” now, but they should be careful if they do it from rent-controlled glass houses in Chinatown./in-joke

IT's not techically called the Pow-awwwwwwl street festival, but maybe it should?

IT

settling in

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Notice to All Employees

Notice to All Employees

So yeah, things are a little different in Yellowknife. In Vancouver, they made you get a tattoo of whoever was on the cover of Billboard’s latest issue, and DEAR GOD I wanted to wear a burqa when it was the Jonas Brothers’ turn. Eventually I ran out of space, so they just gave me new arms to start fresh, and that was when I made my escape.

I’ve been learning a little about the town thanks to these instructional tourist guide videos that a commenter sent to me.

Part the First

Part the Second

Seems pretty much right-on so far. I must say it IS amusing when people try to frighten me with stories of the Range. I just laugh and tell them about the time I went for coffee with Willy Pickton and that usually gives them some more perspective on the DTES relative to the Range.

Escape from Vancouver Unicorn Chaser links

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Vancouver Riots in Lego by Kimli

Vancouver Riots in Lego by Kimli

I guess you could say that’s looking on the bright side. Turning riots into art is a very 21st Century response.

Speaking of art, here is Lani Russworm’s amazing shot of the smoke rising from Downtown. It gives you some perspective on what this riot is doing to our city, and what kind of  city it is.

Vancouver tonight. And how was YOUR evening?

Vancouver tonight. And how was YOUR evening?

I dunno if you’ve been following sports tonight, but I can’t say as it brings me much joy to be in Vangroover tonight: neither because of the loss nor because of the dumbass riots. Yes, we have Ed Hardy-wearing douchebags here, too.

Vancouver Fuck Calm

Vancouver Fuck Calm

So, if you could use a Unicorn Chaser too, here are a lovely roundup of brain-soothing landscapes. Let your imagination pick one and drift away, possibly with the aid of a stiff cocktail or eight.

Manége de l'Hotel de Ville, Paris 1er, France

Manége de l'Hotel de Ville, Paris 1er, France by Gaston Bastini

Sure, t could be considered childish, and you’re just going round in circles, but the view is fabulous and the company charming and decorative.

Or if you’d like to opt out of adulthood altogether, there’s always this perennial favorite:

I only want a one way ticket

I only want a one way ticket

A one-way ticket will be just fine, thank you.

Treehouse of the Elder Gods

Treehouse of the Elder Gods

I think this is where Julian Assange and I will live once he’s paroled. If these cedars are rockin’, don’t come knockin’.

And finally, I’ll let you in on my retirement plans. Screw Florida!

Goodbye, Cruel World! Hello New, Improved World!

Goodbye, Cruel World! Hello New, Improved World!

It’s true: I’d dump Assange in a Cair Paravel minute if Caspian would give me the time of day.

Sigh. There, feel better? Good. Now let’s read some trivia celebrity gossip links and forget all about those nasty, nasty uni-ball-having, hockey-not-playing rioting protoplasms.

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Girl In A Wetsuit

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Girl In A Wetsuit by PiscesDreamer
Girl In A Wetsuit a photo by PiscesDreamer on Flickr.

Even inanimate objects get into the Stanley Cup Spirit in Vangroover.

Via Flickr:Girl In A Wetsuit by Elek Imredy

bronzelife-sizeStanley ParkVancouver, British ColumbiaTo create the bronze statue, sculptor Elek Imredy first took a mold of the top surface of the rock. In his studio, he made a replica of the rock and modeled the figure in clay. A plaster of paris mold was made from the clay figure and the sculpture was cast in fibreglass. This fibreglass figure was flown to Rome where it was cast in bronze.On June 9th, 1972, the sculpture was set in place by a crane reaching out from shore to the rock 8o feet away and fastened to the stone with stainless steel bolts. The next day the sculpture was ceremoniously unveiled. Girl in a Wetsuit has become a landmark for visitors to Stanley Park and to boats that enter the harbour.