Category Archives: Weird

Ah, Comrade Kirk! I see you’ll be joining us in the Collective.

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From Sploid. My country makes the American news; and golly gee, I couldn’t be prouder.

The communists who run Canada held a bizarre secret “tribunal” that made ancient Egyptian religion the equal of Christianity and outlawed the marketing of Mr. Spock figurines as “toys.”

Canada’s International Trade Tribunal issued the sweeping rulings to stop the Franklin Mint, a U.S. trinket manufacturer, from claiming its collectibles of Star Trek characters, cartoon harlot Betty Boop and “Wizard of Oz” midgets “amuse and please” the Canadians who buy the things.

And quite rightly, too. Have you ever seen that crap? We don’t need none of your kitten-o-the-month-club commemorative plates and pink porcelain unicorn music boxes (with Elvis figure, if you order now!) to amuse us.

Not when we have you people.

Archie video: the VIDEO

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As opposed to the mere link which I posted back in April.

And boy, was she pissed off! Ba-dump-dum.

And if you don’t know who Archie is, shame on you. Doncha gots Google where you live?

The ongoing fe/male red-haired Figwit-person debate continues. Is there a fansite yet?

it’s makeover time, Marie Claire

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All hail Gawker, channelling the immortal SPY:

 

Marie Claire makeover, perhaps via Foreign Policy

Note To Every Twenty-Year-Old Whose Grasp Of History Extends No Further Back Than 2004: We are not ripping off Andrew Hearst. We have a tremendous amount of respect for Andrew Hearst and always find his projects witty and humorous, but we’re sure he’d be the first to admit that the magazine cover parody did not originate with him. We are, in fact, ripping off Spy. Thank you for your attention.

attention, Kmart shoppers!

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Here she is, Miss Florida 

Have you got your Golden Mermaid for the long weekend yet? Gawd knows, you don’t wanna run out. Those last-minute dashes to the Quickie Mart for more fresh Florida Cryptids are such a PIA!

Surely by now you should know you can meet all your life’s needs and wants on eBay! Thanks to Sploid for this Sploidariffic wish list stuffer.

MERMAID or SEA MONSTER?

While exploring desolate areas of Fort Desoto Beach at the southern end of St. Petersburg, here in Florida, I came upon a rather startling discovery. Before me lay what at first appeared to be a very large strange fish. Shocked and amazed, I realized I had found another [another???] mermaid or sea monster.
…

Laying on a fresh natural bed of seaweed, this creature of the sea looks out as if still alive. What killed this mystery from the depths?

Tanning?
…
Looking over her gracefull body, I realized what a special creature she must had been in life. Was she the missing link between primates and fish? In time, what would evolution had shaped this creature to be?
I sat there thinking for awhile and realized I must get this mermaid back home. I could always ponder later.
…

I have drilled a small hole in the back of the head so that it can be hung up on a wall for display. [bonus! My living room decor will never be the same!]
I have the right to reject any bidders for several reasons of my own choosing. 

Including, perhaps, an all-too-literal-minded enslavement to petty Federal and International advertising regulations?

Y’all got me a birthday present, right?

review o’ the day: web 0.96

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From Gawker.

Take a hilarious trip through the Wayback Machine (I wanted one of those right up until I had a past that could catch up to me). They’ve pored over the crumbling scrolls of the Internet archives and put together a roundup of the best, and the worst, of 1996.

Suggested soundtrack: Grosse Point Blank soundtrack. Suggested accompaniments: pot, beer, and Doritos.
Suggested activity: removing all animated gifs from your website immediately. Follow up by purchasing and installing a horribly complicated graphics program that you use to redesign your site, but which will immediately date everything it touches site to within four months.

NOT suggested activity: not updating the site again until they do another of these.

Lego a go go!

There is very little I can say to rebuke this website. This is the best website I’ve ever seen. I navigated further into the world of Lego.com ’96 and on every single page I was greeted by pirates waving swords, knights riding horses, and overarchingly wizards on bicycles. This page alone has three wizards on bicycles lined up in a very majestic fashion, with an additional bonus wizard on a bicycle in the upper-right corner. In 1996, while most companies were still figuring out how to properly scan their company logo so that it didn’t look like a joke, Lego had discovered the key to web design, which is that randomly strewing little Lego men around one’s website is hilarious and engaging. If you feel like you need to cleanse your palette after seeing all the other websites featured in this article, please enjoy the following line of Lego men:

Wiz

wizwizwizwizwiz
From Left to Right: Wizard on Bicycle, Wizard on Bicycle,
Wizard on Bicycle, Wizard on Bicycle, Wizard on Bicycle