via Fark. We always knew someone would push Milton too far one day. Best slasher trailer since Sleepless in Seattle.
via Fark. We always knew someone would push Milton too far one day. Best slasher trailer since Sleepless in Seattle.
Stolen from EliseTalk, via Fark.
Of course, I’m one to talk. I use my manuals to even out my wobbly desk.
That blithe disregard of indispensable training materials bears not at all on my ability to produce such items, should you be in a hiring mood, by the way. I have, in fact, produced a procedures manual for an authorized Honda dealer and service shop, so I feel the pain of the poor sod who poured the sweat of his brow and the expense account of his employer into the production of the manual for the exquisite Lotus Elise which you see here.

I handed them the tire tools and opened the Owner’s Manual to the jacking instructions so they would be clear. We went over all the instructions and they assured me I was in good hands.
We (my father-in-law and I both left)
1 hour later I get a call about the “accident” and that I needed to come down…
My friends send me the sweetest little notes. The packages they’re attached to, however…
Presenting the Mad Scientist Laughing Contest, from Helsinki, Finland, proud home to one of the highest rates of Seasonal Affective Disorder in the world. Here, we can see the tragic consequences.

from Gawker comes word of NaDruWriNi, which isn’t officially called that but should be: ’tis the National Drinking and Writing Festival, ’tis, but even we Canuckistanis shall co-opt it, for lo, we are very co-opterative up here at the socialist roof of the world, and lo, we drink more than they do, so there.
Alas, the glorious day has passed, but as they point out on the site, the next Festival is a mere 51 lost weekends away. Think of it as physical training and carry a notebook small enough to fit in your pocket so it sticks with you when you lose your purse, as you surely will around word 2,800, if I can believe what my shockingly disreputable friends tell me.
Naturally, you’ll want to pay attention to your choice of booze. Feeling feline? Go with gin. Working on a piece about the high life? See if you can’t round up a crystal Champagne flute and magnum of Cristal, or at least a couple of straws and a jug of Cribari. Working on a murder tale? Well then, what’s their poison? Kimveer Gill had Jack Daniels for breakfast his last day on Earth; Christian Brando had three Negronis and then shot his sister’s lover; Robert Frisbee drank something like seven French 75’s and a bottle of wine before bludgeoning the poor, foolish little old lady who paid for his cocktails.
Yeah, just a little something to set the mood.
I would post excerpts, if only I could read the handwriting. Click and decipher for yourselves. This is what Gawker found, from last year, and it’s representative:
observation #5
i was going to write about
an old man i saw
but am now so drunk
that i cannot concentrate enough
do do so
or remember him
h9old on
giveme a sec.


Canada has always tried harder.
Here, with very little effort, we runner-up the world in the protection of individual privacy. Other, less fortunate and more Orwellian countries such as Latvia(#13), Slovenia(#26), Thailand(#30), the United States(#31) and the United Kingdom(#33), could learn from us: appoint a career alcoholic to be in charge of your privacy commission and his staff will ensure that privacy is protected and that he’s passed out long before he can answer government requests to loosen restrictions.
Stolen from Let’s Go Everywhere, which stole it from the Canadian Press.
LONDON — Germany and Canada are the best defenders of privacy, and Malaysia and China the worst, an international rights group said in a report released Wednesday (Oct 31).
Britain was rated as an endemic surveillance society, at No. 33, just above Russia and Singapore on a ranking of 37 countries’ privacy protections by London-based Privacy International.The United States did only slightly better, at No. 30, ranked between Israel and Thailand, with few safeguards and widespread surveillance, the group said…
Best Protectors of Civilian Privacy
1. Germany
2. Canada
3. Belgium
3. Austria
5. Greece
6. Argentina
6. Hungary
8. France
8. Poland
8. Portugal
8. Cyprus
12. Finland
13. Italy
13. Luxembourg
13. Latvia
13. Estonia
13. Malta
18. Denmark
18. Czech Republic
18. Ireland
18. Lithuania
18. New Zealand
18. Slovakia
24. Australia
24. Spain
26. Slovenia
26. Netherlands
28. Israel
28. Sweden
30. United States
31. Thailand
31. Philippines
33. Britain
34. Singapore
34. Russia
36. Malaysia
36. China
