Category Archives: Work

punchline o’ the day: Defamer on agents

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Jamie Gold, CHIPs officerDefamer has possibly the best writers in the blogosphere, and every now and again they show you why.

I’m gonna be cruel and make you jump over to their site for the killer punchline, cuz that’s how I roll.

But read the setup first, otherwise there’s no payoff.

Unless you already work in Hollywood, in which case you’re living this nightmare.

“Agents ate my baby” shirt owners, hollaback!

Conflicted Former Agent Plays Winning Poker, Fears Fame

Reality show producer and former agent Jamie Gold is currently the chip leader at the World Series of Poker No Limit Hold ‘Em Championship in Vegas, but he’s terrified of winning–not because he’s afraid of the millions of dollars he’d take home, as an agent’s moneylust never truly fades, but rather because he fears the fame that a victory will bring. In an interview with ESPN.com, Gold explains why the idea of instant celebrity is so frightening that he openly muses about taking a dive into second place:

“I don’t want it,” Gold said. “I’ve seen what it’s done to other people. I’ve worked with actors from James Gandolfini to Felicity Huffman to Lucy Liu.”Gandolfini wanted nothing to do with fame. If you notice before ‘The Sopranos,’ he never did a movie that put him in the spotlight. He never did Jay Leno. He never did an interview. He never talked to the press. He didn’t want any of it. He couldn’t stand it because he knew what would happen to his life.

“He got in an accident in New York City and someone walked over to him and said something like, ‘Well, you’re Tony Soprano, so you don’t need any help.’ Craziness. It’s insane..”

It’s not too hard to understand why a behind-the-scenes player (or anyone who’s even fleetingly considered a messy suicide upon hearing an actress discuss who she’s wearing on the red carpet) like Gold would eschew the spotlight, but we think there might be a deeper psychological explanation for his fame-phobia revealed by the Gandolfini story.

Find out what it is here. BTW, ‘nother hottie, but he I think he flies the other airline. Either that or he’s emo; all I know is, I’m not that good with eyeliner.

CNN lays the smackdown on Israeli flack

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I may just have to start watching again. They haven’t had any steel in their broadcasts since the Clinton administration. God knows how I missed this, because it’s a week old, but it’s a beautiful example of the mainstream media actually demanding an explanation and not settling for flackery. This is not a talking head, ladies and gentlemen, this is a reporter!

he’s back!

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TomlinsonSpeaking of zombies, Richard Tomlinson is back online here. The man will not lay down and die; this re-emergence was expected, but frankly I wondered if he was in custody, given that things had seemed to be heading towards a peaceful settlement and then BOOM!

Tomlinson Blog 101 here; Tomlinson Blog Disappeared 101 here.

I was wrong with my guess on the specific TOS violation: Typepad said the Metropolitan Police (who have no juristiction over a blog written in France and hosted in the US) sent a letter of complaint, referencing 4(3) of the TOS, and that they, Typepad, had no choice but to take it down. So all they require is a letter of complaint; no proof, no warrant, no lucid argument, not even an old school tie with the IT department; just a letter of complaint.

For god’s sake don’t tell the creationists about this!

And yeah, he could not be said to be taking this well:

So the Metropolitan Police asked Typepad to suspend my account, and Typepad suspend my account without any warning or explanation, and without offering me any form of appeal. Sounds like they work to the same sort of morale code as MI6!

I have asked Typepad for a refund of my subscription fee, and for a copy of my files, but they have not yet offered this. Luckily one kind reader of my old site had downloaded a mirror, and so you can access all the pages here: http://richardtomlinson.6x.to/

I suggest that any readers who use Typepad as their blog host consider moving their site elsewhere, as it is clear that Typepad is not a robust or secure service.

I thought it was only in China and Iran that the secret police shut down blogs, but it seems that even in America this happens too…

And the specific TOS referenced in the complaint is:

4 PAYMENT TERMS

(3) CANCELLATION AND TERMINATION

If you cancel the Service before the end of the term, your cancellation will take effect immediately. After cancellation, you will no longer have access to your website and all information contained therein may be deleted by Six Apart. Six Apart accepts no liability for such deleted information or content. If you are a Guest, the Account Holder who invites you may request Six Apart to, and Six Apart may, terminate your Service at any time and for any reason. If your credit card is invalid for any reason, the Service may be cancelled and all the information contained within deleted permanently. Six Apart accepts no liability for information that is deleted due to an invalid credit card.

You agree Six Apart, in its sole discretion, may terminate your password, and/or account, and remove and discard any Content within the Service (including, but not limited to your Blog Site if you are an Account Holder), for any reason, including and without limitation, the lack of use, or if Six Apart believes that you have violated or acted inconsistently with the letter or spirit of the TOS. Any contracts, verbal or written or assumed, in conjunction with your deleted Blog Site (as applicable) and all its parts, at Six Apart’s discretion, will be terminated as well. Six Apart may also in its sole discretion and at any time, discontinue providing the Service, or any part thereof, with or without notice. You agree that any termination of your access to the Service under any provision of this TOS may be effected without prior notice, and acknowledge and agree that Six Apart may immediately deactivate or delete your Blog Site, as applicable, and all related information and files. Six Apart reserves the right to bar any further access to such files or the Service. You agree that Six Apart shall not be liable to you or any third-party for any termination of your access to the Service. Paid accounts that are terminated will not be refunded.

master of the zombie boner

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Shaun of the Dead; boy meets ghoulsFor lo, we are an equal-opportunity gonad-make-funner here on the raincoaster blog.

Ya just can’t get a better headline than that one, eh? So I stole it wholesale from Gawker, who did this report pointing to a New York Observer piece on a cosmetic …penologist? who works his sexy magic with whatever bits of Alastair Cooke he can get on the black market out behind Dino’s.

In the name of enlargement, he’s prepared to sever its ligaments, yank it further out of your groin, inject it with fat, and wrap it an am empowering sheath of dead flesh. Not girthy enough? Fear not:

Right now, there are two methods of adding girth to a penis: injecting fat, or wrapping the penis in layers of cadaver skin.

Both have drawbacks, in that the body would like to absorb both fat and skin. Even corpse skin.

So in a way, your significant other gets to engage in a threesome that’s (at least) one-third necrophillic.

Cue the Lovecraft…ah, that’s how he got the name. I gets it now.

Aim for the Head!

letter o’ the day: Guido’s new jobhunting technique

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Labour...blogging...and of course, no pay. I thought these socialists looked after their people?Hmmm, we’ll see if this works. I actually managed to get fired by someone I had serious blackmail material on…but of course, I shoulda had it on my computer, and not hers. D’oh! I shall be watching this with much interest. Of course, if it actually paid, I’d be applying myself, but I’m done with these “great exposure” jobs. If I want to expose myself, I doubt not that I could find an audience. Which brings us full circle; after all, I still think Tony Blair’s a sexy bitch.

There was Guido thinking that Recess Monkey was the official Labour party blogger, apparently not, since the Labour party is running a competition to find the official blogger for their conference. First prize is free access to the conference. That is a prize? What does the loser get?

“You’ll be given access to all the key speeches and events at Conference and you’ll be blogging from the floor about your experiences.” Guido might even get to meet Prezza!

To enter, all you need to do is email blogatconferenceatnewdotlabourdotorgdotuk detailing your:
* name* address* phone number* blog URL
* and 100 words on why you should be our Conference blogger.

We will pick the best, the most innovative and the freshest entry before announcing the winner on Friday 8 September. So good luck and send us a blog!

To: Guido sez hiblogatconferenceatnewdotlabourdotorgdotuk
From : guidodotfawkesatorder-orderdotcom

Dear Labour Blog Competition,

I would like to be the official Labour party blogger for a laugh.

If you don‘t pick me I will publish a picture of a government minister breaking the law this weekend. Your call.

 Regards,

Guido