Did they make cheesecake out of dinosaurs back then? Here is some gratuitous Eighties music and some gratuitous Raquel Welch in a fur bikini shots to start your weekend off right. Never let it be said that I refuse to pander!
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OMG WTF!?!?!?!?! Anonymous is after ME now! Shitgoddamholyfuckyikes! I knew that this gossip blogging gig would be trouble!
Maybe Scientology will protect me?
Stolen from Valleywag
Hello. Internet Gossip Bloggers. We are The Z-List Celebrities.
Over the years we have been watching you. Watching us. Your blog posts, showing our drunkenness, our nip slips, our public breakdowns, have caught our eye. With the rise of your blog traffic and general influence in the entertainment industry, we, The Z-List Celebrities, have decided that you must be destroyed.
For the good of your readers, for the good of society and, most of all, for the good of our failing shit-tastic careers we will systematically expel your blogs from the internet and dismantle your growing sphere of influence.
No longer will we be your birthday sluts.
No longer will TMZ’s cameras ambush us outside restaurants.
No longer will you draw cocks on our faces.
We recognize you as serious opponents and do not expect our mission to succeed in a short time frame. Regardless we will no longer tolerate you mocking members of our organization. Like Tara Reid for example, leave her alone. She’s really talented. Sure her tits are weird but she just needs the right part to showcase her abilities, You’ll see.
You have nowhere to hide. Because we are everywhere. You will have no recourse of attack because for every reality star that falls, ten more will take their place.
We are The Z-List Celebrities.
We are Legion.
We do not forgive.
WE DO NOT FORGET.
Expect us.
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Unfortunately, the video is marred by the incessant nattering of a group of twangy Australian talking heads, some of whom grin in the most merciless fashion while discussing Nick Drake‘s suicide and Heath Ledger‘s depression, no doubt thinking all the while of their ratings. If I find a version without them, rest assured I will post it.
For those who don’t know, Nick Drake
(they take video down, someone re-uploads it; let me know if it goes missing again)
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Enjoy this fine, fine television programming from the golden days of the Seventies
Arthur C. Clarke.
Chariots of the Gods.
Sea Monsters!
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Oh, why did I not find this heartwarming seasonal slideshow in time for Christmas last year? Alas, it is too late to make it part of my past traditions, but there’s no reason not to post it now and make viewing it a yearly thing from this point forward. It really sets the perfect tone for the celebration of The Saviour‘s glorious birth, with its joyous celebration of family life, Charlie Brown, seasonally appropriate decorating schemes, and steak knives.
Amelia:
(Written by Richard Matheson, based on his short story Prey)Amelia is a single working woman who lives in a high rise in the big city. She has just arrived home for the day with a gift for a man she’s been seeing…it’s a genuine Zuni hunting fetish doll.
Packaged with the doll is a scroll which reads “he who kills…he is a deadly hunter.” He who kills…he is a deadly hunter…
Naturally, the moral leaning of one’s Zuni fetish doll is an important factor in that whole sleeping-peacefully-at-night-versus-lying-awake-screaming thang, and we at the ol’ raincoaster blog have located a handy-dandy test to determine the evil-ality of your ventriloquist dummy once and for all. Presumably, like a virus scanner that detects attacks on IE but ALSO on email, it will also determine the malevolentosity of your Zuni Fetish or Tiki doll as well. At least, we’ve found no reports to the contrary.
From the Tiki Central Forums:
1.Make a large, roaring fire.
2.Within earshot of the doll say “Well, I think it’s about time I get rid of this ventriloquist doll … it’s not doing me any good no more”.
3.Pick up the doll and say “I think this will burn up real good in the fire”
4.Walk towards the fire.
5.Make like you’re going to throw the doll into the fire on the count of 3.
At this point, if your doll is evil, you’ll feel a bite on your arm, or a punch, or some other violent reaction. The doll will try to get out of your grasp, and, if successful, will run away, most likely with an evil cackle out of it’s smiling mouth. Be careful … he’s not fleeing from you; he’s only looking for a place to hide in order to attack you later.
If nothing happens, your doll is probably not evil. You now have 2 choices: Throw it into the fire anyway, or put it away. Warning: If you do not throw the doll in the fire, it is suggested that you take a knife with you to bed. It’s possible the doll IS evil but knew you were testing it, and is waiting for you to go to sleep before attempting to strangle you.
~Hanford
Tiki Socialite purple jade, however, raises a disturbing point.
This is a moot argument…everyone knows all ventriloquist’s dummies are evil, as are their cousins, clowns.
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raincoaster 