from Kazakhstan, with love

From India, with lovefor realz. This is not some Borat-inspired joke, this is the real thing. Stolen from Gawker.

Dear Sir/Madam, The Cultural Center of Kazakhstan, Inc. in New York proudly presents the Project “From Kazakhstan with Love”, which will take place on 24 March of 2007. This event will allow professional ballet masters, singers and musicians from country of Republic of Kazakhstan, to have an opportunity to show their master skills and top level of the arts of the Republic of Kazakhstan in the city of New York. The participants will perform alongside with the distinguished American performers and American Kazakhstan performers, achieved a high recognition abroad as Prima Ballerina of New Jersey State Theater Saule Rakhmedova, Ballet dancer Tuvshin Bold, and a winner of the International competitions pianist Alia Alhan Malkeeva. The performances will take place on of the best stage of the city New York, at the Time Warnerner building Allen Hall (capacity of 427 people). The importance of this event is essential for the promotion of the culture of the Republic of Kazakhstan in the United States, and especially in the city of New York, which is considered as the Capital of the World for the arts and music. While living in the United States, we still struggle to explain what is our beloved country, and we dream of the great and peaceful representation of our country here through the cosmopolitan language of the arts.. We also offering the presence of your representative on these events, where we assure you the best attention and care of the arrived guests and free tickets for this events. Under your decision we are offering the speech of your representative on the events. We would like to kindly request your help for the successful completion of this event. Your help could be addressed to the Cultural center of Kazakhstan, Inc. bank account, through the web site of the organization. We are officially assuring you to follow all of your requests.Sincerely,
President of The Cultural Center of Kazakhstan, Inc,
Alia Alhan Mal’keeva, Ph.D.
www.kzculture.com

From Russia, with love. Not Kazakhstan

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don’t copy that floppy!

Don’t even THINK about it. Or you’ll be pwned by this cheezy, early Nineties Arsenio Hall impersonator and his ridonkulous DRM rap.

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Dorcs! the hottest trend in footwear (for suckas)

Stolen from The Manolo, who got it from Hilary, who got it from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, here is a lovely CBC-production-values-worthy commercial for that superstar of the footwear fashion world, Dorcs!

And here’s what I have to say about that:

I know many a geek. I know many a nerd. I know many a wonk. I know many a D&D player. I even know a woman who makes her living making suits of ring mail.

But, thankfully, I do not know anyone who would wear these things publically. Do I??????

It’s astonishing the lengths to which people will go to justify their purchase and public wearing of these hideous plastic gnome-sandals.

“They’re fun!” leads one to speculate unkindly about how existentially bleak their lives must have become.

“They’re comfortable,” really means nothing but “I’ve given up trying and my spouse and I haven’t had sex in three years, but I’ve come to accept it.”

“They’re in now,” really just means “Everyone in my Dungeons and Dragons group is wearing them.”

“I wear them all the time,” followed by a raised eyebrow, hopefully begging puppy face means “The scene I will throw having a self-esteem meltdown is far, far more painful than simply swallowing your opinion and enabling me, so what’s it gonna be?”

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switched on Jesus!

Switched on JesusSuffer the little children to keep away from this creepy, Pedophiterian light switch plate from Jesus of the Week.

Jesus looks entirely too happy to see them. What do you think he’s saying to them, anyway? I bet it’s in a husky whisper, too.

Do you think it’s          nope, can’t do it. Strange: all I wanted to do was mildly twist a handful of the words from the Last Supper, but something in me won’t let me do it.

Maybe the Cartesian bet-hedger? My father always said he didn’t believe in God but that he, Dad, was agnostic, not athiest, and when you’d ask him why the apparent contradition, he’d happily tell you there was no point pissing off God and he, Dad, didn’t have any proof that He, God, didn’t exist, so why take the chance?

Quite sensible really, and I wonder how that’s been working out for him the past couple of years. Probably not that well: something tells me God likes those who bet to win.

Speaking of which, what are the odds they found the body of Jesus? And what I really wanna know is, have they found any suspects? I never trusted that Loki, myself.

And now, a few words from King Missile, the Los Angeles-based performance art phenomenon, on how cool Jesus was. How cool was Jesus?

Jesus Was Way Cool

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Lyrics over the jump Continue reading →

Unintelligent Design

A deity’s work is never done…

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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