Monthly Archives: July 2011

Once, Upon a Midnight Cleary

Posted on by

because up here the sun does not set this time of year until about 1:30 am and then only in a sort of curtseying manner, bobbing back up again in an hour or less. So you can actually read a newspaper by the daylight at midnight here in Yellowknife.

Which is why the market for spooky stories is somewhat depressed, locally. We’ll see what happens when the 24 hour darkness sets in, and to judge by some of the Inuit Art, whatever sets in then, it ain’t equanimity.

Shaman Drum Dancer by Nelson Takkiruq

Shaman Drum Dancer by Nelson Takkiruq

See?

So, the market for ghoulies and ghosties and things that go bump in the night appears to be at a minimum now, yet somehow I still managed to drum up a squeal of morbid joy when I saw that the slow-grinding wheels of film production had, at last, released this:

Edgar Allan Poe-ster

Edgar Allan Poe-ster

for lo, opening night cannot come fast enough for those of us here at Operation Global Media Domination HQ. We are indeed looking forward to watching our old Twitter buddy bring to (unsteady, morbid, doomed) life one of the greatest of American Writers. Ah! If only I had my copy of Closed on Account of Rabies with me, and perhaps a bottle of Amontillado (they don’t sell it at the liquor store, but I bet Chef Pierre could rustle me up some) I could set the mood. For now, these small talismans, the poster and this YouTube of Christopher Walken reading The Raven from that very album will have to do.

Cheerful, isn’t it?

The Importance of Being Guido

Posted on by
Snooki is the Rocking Horse Loser

Snooki is the Rocking Horse Loser

What do you get when you take two actors currently starring in The Importance of Being Earnest and give them transcripts from the Jersey Shore and instructions to stay in character?

This:

via EmilyGracey

and part two:

Really? With TAMPONS???

and part three:

and part four:

Seriously, what IS it about grilled cheese that makes people like this?

and five:

You’re welcome.

and for Week Five, we present:

Posted on by
Story of my life, really

Story of my life, really

Week Five’s plan, in case you’re wondering, is mastering that whole Getting Out of the House thang. Which really means I’ve gotta finish that Bastille Day post about Le Chef Pierre and Le Frolic, because I’ve been too guilt-wracked over not getting it done to actually show up there since. And apparently he is as big an Armagnac aficionado as I am, so this could get expensive.

By the way, The Frolic is also the title of a really seriously creepy story by John Ligotti, one of the most underappreciated authors in the English language. And now, apparently, also an independent film. Which has nothing to do with anything, but is a fact. Or series of facts. So.

Anyway, it’s a fact that I can’t stay here another weekend listening to the rad patio party the people up the hill have every Friday and Saturday without going fucking insane. I realized in Week Two that it was entirely possible to piss your life away going to work, coming home, and doing nothing else but eating, sleeping, and reading Google+. That, however, is not the life I left Vancouver to find.

Operation Global Media Domination: The Google+ Situation

Posted on by
well in fact I AM a big deal on Google+

well in fact I AM a big deal on Google+

You know how we hate to toot our own horn around these parts, but this must be said: apparently I’m kind of a big deal on Google+

which is really rather amusing, considering I’ve been banned twice in two days and am still banned. Nonetheless, here’s what my stats look like today:

ReferrerView

sGoogle168

google.co.uk50

google.ca17

google.com.au8

StumbleUpon8

google.com.br8

gawker.com8

google.ro7

google.nl6

google.no4

Meaning that even though I can’t do my usual self-promotional link-dropping, and all my existing droppings have been mopped up from the Goog, other people are spreading my droppings all over the horizon. It’s kinda like Farmville, only I WIN!

And as to why I’ve been banned twice, that’s easy. I’m raincoaster, right? Over five million blog readers have encountered me as raincoaster, so when I started up in G+ I started as “rain coaster.” Now, I wasn’t stupid; the rules clearly say you MUST identify yourself by your real name, so I opened the account not from raincoaster at gmail dot com but from real.name at gmail dot com, and in the space provided for “other names” I put Real Name. I mean, why would you HAVE that space if you weren’t allowed to have more than one name, right? Or as this very wise person put it:

I actually got clipped by Google a week ago due to using the name CZ Unit. Which was interesting, since they asked me to use the name I am commonly known by.

I had to explain over the course of a week that my friends know me as CZ, family knows me as CZ, people in real life know me as CZ. I even asked my friends “What name pops into your mind when you think about me”? “What name do you call me when you see me across a room”

In both cases (and others) the results were unanimous: CZ. Even the person who turned me in used to call me CZ back in 1987 (yes, I have the NextMail with voice attachment

I had to point them to my LJ (cz-unit), something I have been keeping since 2002. 3,000 posts; probably not a sock puppet.

I had to have my friends send emails of support and they were even having notarized letters signed on my behalf saying that they knew me as CZ and only as CZ.

And I had to scan in a copy of my lunch bag as evidence that yes: My wife even writes “CZ’s Lunch” on my bag. What more positive, tangible ID would one need?

All of this brings up two points: First is who defines a person? Is it your parents? Your Job? The Government? Google? Your friends? You?

Second is just how wise is it to outsource your friend support network? I was on G+ for a week when I got clipped, and I still have my LJ as a backup. How about people who don’t have that? What are they going to do when their network vanishes due to upsetting the provider?

Very interesting stuff. I wrote about it on my LJ, it has been an interesting experience. But it does help me to answer the age old question:

“Who Am I?”

That’s a very, very wise post. My own experience was a little less profound, since I’m used to dealing with this question All the Damn Time.

The first time I was banned, there was no notification at all, and if someone hadn’t posted the direct link to the appeal process in the help forum, I wouldn’t have been able to ask for my account back. Google deleted that helpful forum post, by the way. Why, if they don’t want to be evil? It asked for links to places I was mentioned as “raincoaster,” and they had to be along the lines of registered accounts at Google-owned sites like YouTube or media mentions, that kinda thing. I gave them this list (stalkers, here’s your dream material!):

http://facebook.com/raincoaster
http://www.linkedin.com/in/raincoaster
https://twitter.com/#!/raincoaster
http://www.flickr.com/people/raincoaster/
http://www.facebook.com/raincoastermedia
http://empireavenue.com/RAINCOASTER
http://www.wordcampvictoria.ca/2010/04/featured-speaker-raincoaster/
http://en.forums.wordpress.com/profile/raincoaster
http://www.peerindex.net/raincoaster
http://ahamedia.ca/category/raincoaster-media/
http://gawker.com/people/raincoaster5/
http://1st.shortyawards.com/category/raincoaster
http://trueslant.com/people/raincoaster/
http://www.ubishops.ca/baudrillardstudies/vol4_3/v4-3-article70-raincoaster.html
http://www.surveymagnet.com/2011/01/lolebrity-interview/

raincoaster is a god

http://www.mainwriter.com/2010/02/09/questions-over-lunch-with-lorraine-murphy-raincoaster/
http://lanyrd.com/2011/northern-voice/speakers/

Vancouver Blogger Profile: Lorraine Murphy

http://emmerogers.com/tag/raincoaster/
http://carocat.co.uk/2009/08/14/twitlight-who-are-you-raincoaster/

 

Is that enough, Google??? IS IT??? For god’s sake, the LinkedIn and Facebook vanity links are “raincoaster.”

Google emailed me after I filled in the form to tell me that changing my name from “rain coaster” to what I had on my LinkedIn Profile would be acceptable. My LinkedIn profile says “Real (raincoaster) Name,” so that’s what I did (subbing in quotation marks for parenthesis). Last night, they suspended my account AGAIN.

I guess something like 20 links is still not enough?

When are they gonna suspend Xeni Jardin, who also isn’t using her birth name?

And, as women are disproportionate users of pseudonyms (for “what are you wearing, baby” issues), this has become a gender issue. Yeah, I know it’s old skool and boring to call out sexism, but even if that was not the intention, that has been the result.

Don’t be evil. Bitches.

Servicey Sunday!

Posted on by
Southeast Asian Sea Life: Memorize and BE PREPARED

Southeast Asian Sea Life: Memorize and BE PREPARED

I hope that clears up any confusion about spotting the mimic octopus in the wild. Simply put: you can’t.

If you wonder, on occasion, why this blog is quite so tentactular, think about this; the Mimic Octopus was discovered in 1998 off the coast of Sulawesi. In 1997 I was swimming in the ocean off the coast of Sulawesi and THESE THINGS WERE DOWN THERE, probably looking like other things or like no things at all but they were DOWN THERE THE WHOLE TIME BEING STEALTHY AND WE DIDN’T KNOW IT.

Goddam.

Seriously, this is why I don’t swim anymore. Who needs aliens when we have cephalopods?