The third (?) in our series of demented chandeliers, and the second in our series of monumental gummi bear art, here is every diabetic’s worst nightmare: a chandelier made of gummi bears, by the artist YaYa Chou. Click here to see it in its full 45″X21″X21″ glory.
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
Here, by way of UniqueDaily (for whose 286 clickthroughs to SuperOctopus we are very grateful indeed) is the super global masterlist of internet emoticons. From Midget Smileys to Mega Smileys, it’s got them all.
For those unfamiliar with the concept, emoticons are what geeks have instead of facial expressions, body language, or interpersonal skillz.
Some practical examples you can put to immediate use in your daily lives:
{:-) User wears a toupee.
}:-( Toupee in an updraft.
:-[ User is a vampire.
:-E Bucktoothed vampire.
:-F Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing.
-:-) User is a punk rocker.
-:-( Real punk rockers don’t smile.
(8-o It’s Mr. Bill!
d8= Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat.
C= 2>;*{)) A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin.
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Because not all of us are morning people, GODDAMMIT!!!
Daylight.
Fucking.
Savings.
I want to find out who invented this, then I want to find out where he’s buried, then I want to go there and dig him up, and then I want to beat him to a fine puree using no instrument of greater delicacy than a frozen musk-ox foreleg. And if he’s not dead, I want to strangle and bury him first.
Signed,
Not A Fucking Morning Person, GODDAMMIT, all right, you motherfuckers!!!
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
For those of you who are not familiar with the whole idea of whales, here it is:
They are very, very big.
And they are very, very strong, and they are absolutely impervious to the idea that human lives are sacrosanct.
So, should you care to, say, go scuba diving with whales and crawl on top of a mother and her calf, and she sees fit to connipt slightly, sending you and your buddy on an excruciating, nine-hour journey to the nearest hospital, where you mist up as you give media interviews about how beautiful and Oprah-like the experience was, and how eager you are to repeat it, don’t be surprised if, somewhere out in the depths, the traditional clicks and whistles of whalesong are enlivened with an occasional evil chuckle.
In related news, in possible payback for the ongoing Japanese whale hunt (for “research” purposes, remember, said research resulting in such scientifically advanced products as fast food whale burgers) a lost and apparently confused sperm whale which was being pestered by several boatloads of Japanese fishermen deliberately flipped over one of the boats, resulting in the death of a 58-year-old man. At the time, the man had been engaged in an attempt to direct the whale from the bay in which it had strayed to the open ocean. Japanprobe has two videos and the Reuters report.
Don’t mess with Moby Dick.
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
raincoaster 