I Ran

Actually, after watching this I couldn’t run: I was laughing too hard. Think of this celebrity-studded SNL chanson d’amour to sexy and 100% heterosexual Iranian President MahmoudNo Gays in IranAhmadinejad as this generation’s Ebony and Ivory.

“There may be no gays in Iran, but you’re in New York now, baby!”

Can’t we all just get along?

lyrics tk…oh, here they are, thanks to mlsloudon

They say true love comes only once in a lifetime
And even though we’re from opposite ends of the earth
My heart tells me you’re the one for me

Mahmoud, I remember when it started, saw you on the news
You hating gays, I was eating food
I was feeling you, and even though I disagree with almost everything you said
You ain’t wrong to me, so strong to me, you belong to me
Like a very hairy Jake Gyllenhaal to me
Mahmoud, make my heart beating out of my chest
my mind says no but my body says yes
You ain’t no threat, the only threat I see, is the threat of you not coming home to me
Our love for each other is like when atoms collide
Can’t express how I feel, and yo Adam let’s ride

And Iran, Iran so far away is your home, but in my heart you’ll stay

He ran, for the president of Iran
We ran together to a tropical island
My man, Mahmoud is known for violence
Smiling, if he can still do it then I can
They call you weasel, they say your methods are medieval
You can play the Jews, I can be your Jim Caviezel

S&M, (?) when we’re wrestlin’
You can be the port that I put my vessel in
So I try to (?) but you can still see me
With your sleepy brown eyes, butter pecan thighs
And your hairy butt… Yeah.

And Iran, Iran so far away
Come home, and in my arms you’ll stay
Used to look at the stars and dream
Around the world the same stars we’re seeing
And a twinkle in your eyes Mahmoud

Talk smooth to me, in the night sky
With you pants high waisted, damn so fly
We can take a trip to the animal zoo
And laugh at all the funny things that animals do
Like Eugene, you got me straight trippin’ boo
Hope you look at my eyes and say I’m trippin’ too
You say (?) but they already do
You should know by now, it’s you

You crazy for this world Mahmoud
So give us another Holocaust all you want
But you can’t deny that there’s something between us
I know you say there’s no gays in Iran
But you’re in New York now baby
So time to stop hating and start living

9 thoughts on “I Ran

  1. Finally had time to listen – this is far, far, far better than Larry Craig, althought I still subscribe to the theory that all Iranian homosexuals were surgically transformed into hairy female Revolutionary Guard leaders.

  2. I just got my copy of Modern Drunkard magazine returned, the one with A Drinker’s Guide to Iran in it. I shall look specifically for the gay bars; meanwhile, Gawker did A Homo’s Guide to Iran or something like that. The title may have been slightly different, I’m not sure.

  3. They say true love comes only once in a lifetime
    and even though we’re from opposite ends of the earth,
    my heart tells me you’re the one for me.
    Mahmoud
    I remember when it started, saw you on the news
    you were hating gays, I was eating food
    but I was feeling you, and even though I disagreed with almost everything you said
    you aint wrong to me, so strong to me, you belong to me
    Like a very hairy Jake Gyllenhaal to me
    Mahmoud make my heart beat right out of my chest
    my mind says no but my body says yes
    Nuclear threat, the only threat I see
    is the threat of you not coming home with me.
    Our love for each other’s like when atoms collide
    Can’t express how I feel
    Ay yo Adam let’s ride
    And Iran, Iran so far away
    is your home, but in my heart you’ll stay
    He ran, for the president of Iran
    we ran together to a tropical island
    my man, Mahmoud is known for rilin’
    smiling, if he can still do it then I can
    they call you weasel, they say your methods are medieval
    you can play the Jews I can be your Jim Caviezel
    S&M, nestlin’ when we’re wrestlin’
    You can be the port that I park my vessel in
    So I try to mute the tv but you can still see me
    with your sleepy brown eyes, butter pecan thighs
    And your hairy butt…
    Yeah.
    And Iran, Iran so far away
    come home, and in my arms you’ll stay
    Used to look at the stars and dream
    round the world same stars we’re see’n
    And a twinkle in your eyes Mahmoud.
    Talk smooth to me, without a tie
    your pants high waisted, damn so fly.
    We can take a trip to the animal zoo
    and laugh at all the funny things that animals do
    Like Eugene (Levy) you got me straight trippin’ boo
    hope you look in my eyes and say I’m trippin’ too
    you say Iran don’t have the bomb but they already do
    you should know by now, it’s you.
    And Iran, Iran so far away
    is your home, but in my heart you’ll stay
    You crazy for this one Mahmoud
    you can deny the holocaust all you want
    but you can’t deny that there’s something between us
    I know you say there’s no gays in Iran
    but you’re in New York now baby
    it’s time to stop hiding,
    and start living

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