Don’t even THINK about it. Or you’ll be pwned by this cheezy, early Nineties Arsenio Hall impersonator and his ridonkulous DRM rap.
Stolen from The Manolo, who got it from Hilary, who got it from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, here is a lovely CBC-production-values-worthy commercial for that superstar of the footwear fashion world, Dorcs!
And here’s what I have to say about that:
I know many a geek. I know many a nerd. I know many a wonk. I know many a D&D player. I even know a woman who makes her living making suits of ring mail.
But, thankfully, I do not know anyone who would wear these things publically. Do I??????
It’s astonishing the lengths to which people will go to justify their purchase and public wearing of these hideous plastic gnome-sandals.
“They’re fun!” leads one to speculate unkindly about how existentially bleak their lives must have become.
“They’re comfortable,” really means nothing but “I’ve given up trying and my spouse and I haven’t had sex in three years, but I’ve come to accept it.”
“They’re in now,” really just means “Everyone in my Dungeons and Dragons group is wearing them.”
“I wear them all the time,” followed by a raised eyebrow, hopefully begging puppy face means “The scene I will throw having a self-esteem meltdown is far, far more painful than simply swallowing your opinion and enabling me, so what’s it gonna be?”
You may know me. You may know me well. You may only think you know me well.
But I bet you don’t know this:
I’m a manifesto junkie.
It’s true. I’m not ashamed. It’s just a healthy, natural enthusiasm and nothing at which to look askance or akimbo. Manifestos are compelling. They’re energetic. They’re Manifestificent: they’ve got a bit of the word “festival” right there in their netherfesto-region.
How can you resist?
Late at night, presuming I’m not up blogging, I lie in bed and wonder if the Fascists had had a Manifesto half as good as the Communist Manifesto, where would my politics be right now?
Of course, if I were a Fascist I could just roll over in bed and ask my chauffeur.
In any case, there comes a time when there’s nothing in the world that will fill the aching hole within like a good Manifesto. When the rest of the world turns to mood-altering chemicals, inappropriate sexual liasons, and old movies, I turn instead to Manifestos.
My mother would be so proud; thirty years after grade school and I’m still a drudge.
Actually, my mother told me to loosen up and you may judge the extent to which I have succeeded by the rest of this blog. Start with “Beaver Shots” and end with “Daniel Radcliffe nekkid“.
In any case, I was staggering around the web in my usual random and time-consuming fashion when I found this. It’s a manifesto for those in the startup phase of a company. As I am hoping to form a company and be in the startup phase rather soon, and as it seems to be actually quite good, and as it seems to happen to actually put its finger on the absolute heart of what makes an investor-corporate relations work, I thought it was worth putting in the ol’ raincoaster blog, and no, I haven’t suddenly gone all Tony Robbins on you. Like I said, I’ve been this freaky all along.
The Secret to Winning at Anything
Begin Manifesto:
- Big dreams don’t succeed without support from others.
- That support is most often manifested as faith, advice, or money.
- There are many ways to get support, but the easiest way is to ask.
- When you ask, make sure – more than anything – that you open your eyes.
- You want people who support you for the fire in your eyes.
- Where you’re at now will change… but that fire will likely endure.
- People who support where you’re at today may not be there tomorrow.
- But people who support the fire likely will be there forever.
- This is the secret of support. But it isn’t a one-way street.
- If you take it… if you get it… you must give it using the same criteria.
- Whether or not you believe in karma, it’s always better to act as if you do!
End Manifesto
Just because the Manifesto part of their post is over, doesn’t mean your reading assignment is. Read the rest of what they have to say, and veddy interesting reading it is, too. I want to draw your particular attention to points numbers 5, 7, and 8.
This is what Steve Jobs has always had. This is what Hitler had; hmmmm, perhaps not the best example. This is what Joan of Arc and Pierre Trudeau and yes, Tony Robbins and Nelson Mandela and John Dillinger and Thomas Jefferson and Rousseau and Rasputin and Dave Eggers had.
I’ve been poking around the blogosphere for quite some time, and have become aware that the intentionality behind a post has a significant impact on the ultimate fate of that post. I know that when I’ve done things purely to draw traffic, that they have failed. And when I’ve done things purely out of negativity, they have not only failed to meet their goals, but they have failed as actions in and of themselves. I’ve seen it repeatedly and it’s given me a firm belief that the combination of authenticity and passion has a huge, but so far unquantified, role in the success of any endeavor. This manifesto has expressed that as well as anything I’ve ever seen.
But then, as you know, I only read Manifestos, Gawker and Fark.
Does anyone out there have any examples of something that also gets to the heart of this? This is a capitalist document, but we can examine the same phenomenon in politics, in entertainment, in philosophy, in science, or in any other human pursuit. I’m trying to build a Grand Unified Theory of that very fire: so far I’ve connected the idea of Quality from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance; mathematical elegance, from The Divine Proportion, and the philosophical concept of Truth. I think that this kind of passion is also connected, and that, in touching it we are connected to something numinous, which is actually a long way to go from a venture capital-baiting blog post, but there you are.
You go some strange places on the starship raincoaster, particularly under a full moon.
Thank god for YouTube; they reduced a possible four hours of marketing-saturated, passive boredom and bitchily self-indulgent fashion criticism into five minutes of clicking through “Forrest Whitaker” search results and two minutes of the most inspiring Hollywood speech of the last twenty years.
Sorry for the dickwad blathering right over the most important line; it seems that Oscar is a very controlling sort and has sent most of the video captures to the great bit bucket in the sky, where no doubt Lucy and Ricky are enjoying the bit where Helen Mirren performed “Borat” at this very moment.
Alas, YouTube is TheirTube and they have had this video killed. Found another for now.
The transcript still works, though!
Transcript over the jump
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Continue reading
Found via a loopy stagger around and off sulz‘s blog. Cross-posted to running through rain.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is more well-known than well-understood, but now any old Myspace slacker still straight enough to click a quiz without having to close one eye and move his lips while watching YouTube can find out how self-realized s/he may be without all that icky “reading for comprehension” stuff that just slows us down.
The internet moves at the speed of thought. Which explains why it takes this blog so long to load, eh?
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Maslow Inventory Results |
| Physiological Needs (80%) you appear to have a deficiency in your basic needs. Safety Needs (50%) you appear to have an adequately secure environment. Love Needs (57%) you appear to be semi-content with the quality of your social connections. Esteem Needs (37%) you appear to have a high level of personal competence. Self-Actualization (55%) you appear to have an average level of individual development. |
Take Free Maslow Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Monstrously detailed analysis over the jump…as I may be, if it’s not too cold to walk to the Lion’s Gate. Have a happy!