Naughty Wet and Wild Swedish Beaver!

Beaver SwedishGranny got tail!

Naughty, naughty beaver! Keep your tail away from innocent Swedish grannies, be they never so wrinkled and asking for it.

Word comes from the banks of the Bottena that a wild Swedish beaver went crazy at the sight of an elderly swimmer and indulged in an orgy of slapping and physical violence.

“The beaver attacked the grandmother. She was seriously hit by the animal’s tail and received a number of bites and scratches,” an officer told the newspaper.

Surely not the first or last time that someone has regretted an encounter with really wild beaver.

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Giant Squid: your Saturday science vid!

I am sure that I speak for many when I say I miss those endless Saturday afternoon nature shows that came on between the sports. Take thirteen minutes and climb with me back into the cosy, cowboy-printed sleepingbag of your childhood as we watch The Search for the Giant Squid!

from the YouTube notes:

For centuries, sailors have told tales of sea monsters with massive tentacles. But it was only recently that a giant squid was actually filmed. One man has spent his life tracking the elusive creatures.

When his large, powerful yacht slowed to a virtual stop, Olivier de Kersauson knew he had a problem. “I saw two arms, twice the size of my arm, grabbing the rudder.” A giant squid had got caught in the propeller. “It had a lot of power and started to shake the boat.” It was a sight Dr Steve O’Shea would love to have witnessed. For over 30 years he’s been chasing the rare creatures. But recently, he’s become aware of a disturbing trend. “Squids are incredibly good barometers of environmental health”, he explains. “If I go back 10 years, I had 23 giant squids in one year. Now, because of the intensity of fishing, it’s tailed down to one a year.”

And here is the requisite wistful portrait demonstrating the futility and the beauty of human hopes and dreams, from the New Yorker.

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quiz: can you tell your Jackson Pollock from your Pigeon Droppings?

Jackson Pollock

While this quiz is all too easy to ace, it raises some disturbing questions () about the nature of art. Is everything Art? Is Nothing Art? Or is only Nothingness Art? Or, is it all just a pile of shit?

Pollock or Pigeonshit?

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photo o’ the day: Cabazon Floyd

I knew there was a reason Chihuahuas scare me. Now, at last, is revealed the great secret, kept for two million years.

Cabazon Floyd

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quiet riot: a Canadian mob scene

Police Horse in Vancouver

So there I was, down at English Bay, waiting for the fireworks. But I was not alone: no indeed, 200,000 of my closest strangers and several of my friends were there with me.

And they were ready for us.

The three cops.

Actually, there were a great many more than three, although a wholly insufficient number to deal with the number of people celebrating their Welfare Wednesday en plein air. Most of them, indeed, were involved in traffic-denials and bicyclist harrassment and had no free hands, what with all the pointing and waving and whistling and “hey buddy, you can’t go there”-ing they were doing, to be involved in any riot-quelling activities.

Which brings us to the three cops.

The riot police.

The specialists.

You could tell they were riot police because of the quarterstaffs they carried in sheaths attached to their saddles.

Well, I guess technically it’s the SIX cops then, if you take Brigadier’s Law into account.

The Yanko-Belgian (half Quarter Horse, half Belgian).

The Anglo-Percheron (sometimes known as the Heavy Irish Hunter).

The Freisian (aka “those ones that Martha Stewart has, you know, that match the trim on the house”).

And their associated humans.

All were dressed in proper riot gear, the modern equivalent of military plate: it’s the first time I ever saw horses with plexiglas faceguards, reinforced LED-accented tack, teensy poll helmets nestled behind the ears, shin and knee pads like an NHL goalie and, as mentioned above, quarterstaffs. Plus Tasers, guns, handcuffs, snaffles, the usual. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see a broadsword, but alas I was disappointed.

And you know, they DID have a mob to deal with, much to the visible consternation of their human partners. Ooohh, those boys were not happy: they were livid, faces like slabs of meat ripped from the flank of a charging bull.

Yes, the entire time they were on duty they were surrounded by a mob six to twelve deep. A mob of Canadians. A mob with one thing, and one thing only, on its mind.

“Can I pet your horse?”