Snooki's book heralds the apocalypse. Well, WE all knew that. But we weren't gonna tell you!

Conspiracies everywhere! What’s a person to do when reality itself is unreal? Is there a sure guide in these troubled and uncertain times, when it seems as if there are a million different perspectives on Rashomon itself?

Tom Hanks doesn't know what's going on and neither do I but I've just decided to "go with it"

At least I finally got something useful out of the pointless drama that’s been going on around here lately. I ran the entire Fandumb post through the Haiku Finder, comments and all, and found a haiku. One. ONE haiku. From 4,852 words. This only confirms my belief that this is the lamest, most boring bunch of trolls I’ve ever had the misfortune to encounter. From almost five thousand overly-emotional words, only one haiku can be gleaned, and it is my own.

I think Monet died
before he really hit his
stride artistically.

You’d think a few Impressionist dealers would have chimed in, with a statement as controversial as that, and in poetry no less, but noooooooo! In any case, let’s make an attempt to get back to “normal”? around these parts, with a bog-standard and hardly dramatic list of Hollywood gossip links. I expect Khloe Kardashian’s red hair to be blamed on me any second, but oh well, what can you do? I DID totally talk her into it.

Pointless Internet Drama, I wish I could quit you (raincoaster)

Good Mourning! (Ayyyy)

Colin Firth’s face AND Alan Rickman’s voice, in one post! (Lolebrity)

Toni Collette vs Coldplay (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse goes Full Brazilian (BusyBeeBlogger)

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom welcome world’s most beautiful baby (CeleBitchy)

Amy Winehouse is wearing an awfully tall belt (NSFW) (CelebDirtyLaundry)

It’s Ted Williams’ world; we just live in it (CelebritySmack)

Detouched Celebrities (CityRag)

He’s still a douchebag, but he’s an awfully decorative one when he’s nekkid (DailyStab)

Robert Pattinson doesn’t know who he is (FitFabCeleb)

Celebrity pizzaface (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Jane Krakowski is packing babeh (HaveUHeard)

Kardashian Kard Konflict! (INeedMyFix)

Britney leaks! (PoorBritney)

The evolution of the fashion blogger (PopBytes)

Drew Barrymore narrowly escaped from Borat, it seems (TheSkinny)

Kim Kardashian has a big mouth (SeriouslyOMG)