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This is a confluence of pop memes almost beyond imagining, but FWIW, Lord Voldemort‘s middle name, in French, is Elvis.
To make an anagram of Je suis Voldemort the French translators had to change Tom Marvolo Riddle into Tom Elvis Jedusor.
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Okay, so the artist’s name for it is Termithulhu. I think that makes it sound like some sort of horrible, amphibious mutant carpenter ant or sumpin’, so I just up and changed it, cuz that’s how I roll, yo. Besides, for sneaky technical reasons I didn’t want to use the same title in case WordPress’s mighty Google Juice made this outrank his post on searches for his own art. Kinda sorta mortifying when that happens.
via Urban Vancouver
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(er)
Stolen from Myspace, which stole it from Mugglenet. If anyone has the original link, I’d be much obliged if they’d put it in the comments so I can add it. Found it!
1. Ask him why he ‘doesn’t have such a cool scar?’
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. ‘Round, round, get around, I get around…’
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.
11. If you ever need to say ‘Like taking candy from a baby’, be sure to add ‘Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.’ Stare pointedly at him.
12. Play ‘knock-&-run’ at his bedchamber door late at night.
13. Call him ‘The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.’
14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn’t look like something ‘more socially acceptable?’
15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.
16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.
17. Be cheerful.
18. When he tries to impress you with his powers, say ‘Awwwww, lookit. Voldie’s got a twiggle!’
19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.
20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like ‘You’re the boss, boss’ or ‘It’s your funeral.’
21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic ‘My sir, you look particularly menacing today.’
22. Taunt him about his middle name. ‘Marvolo? What’s that – a washing detergent?’
23. Keep a ‘good-behaviour chart’. Award points and give out gold stars.
24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.
25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there…
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Stolen from the greatest magazine in the history of recorded thought, Spy, via the greatest blog based on blogging the best dead magazine in recorded thought in recorded thought, Ten Years Ago in Spy.
“What If the Brontë Sisters Had Been in a Heavy-Metal Band?”
[Wouldn’t they be Kittie?]
- 1826
- Emily rejects ritual indoctrination in the domestic arts; vows to create a “towering wall of sounds.”
- 1842
- Anne throws straw-poke bonnet into seething concert crowd at Albert Hall.
- 1849
- Charlotte returns to public house to trash furniture and have sex with publican; locks manager, Mrs. Rochester, in attic.
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raincoaster 