Because He needed to fill a critical staffing position:
Remember: Anna Nicole wants you to get laid this Valentine’s Day.
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Seriously, what did you think she was famous for? Listen to these fans scream: they would cheer on a trainwreck if it wore a really trashy dress. As Nietzsche says, when we cease to worship the old gods they die, and whatever we do worship becomes the new god.
Is this enlightenment?
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It seems “heart failure” was even more euphemistic than we thought. Access Hollywood is reporting that she choked to death on her own vomit, while under the influence of sedatives. Just like Jimi. You probably don’t want to watch the video they’ve got on that site; it’s voyeuristic, to say the least.
According to a credible source, an employee of Anna Nicole Smith found her in her room in the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida. The employee pulled back a sheet and discovered that she appeared to have choked on her own vomit.
The same source claims that Smith took what was referred to as a “children’s sedative,” and had “kept passing out” before her death.
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Nowadays there are very few good sides to Nerve.com, but one that remains is the barefaced outspokenness of their content. I can’t think of another media outlet that would allow their readers to interview John Waters and run the answers unexpurgated.
While Waters doesn’t seem to be in his best, most overcaffeinated and loopy form here, it’s nonetheless amusing and never less than honest. Want to know what freaks out the freakmaster? Read on…Here’s a sample.
“What is the most filthy, vile, and disgusting thing you’ve personally ever heard of or thought of? Does the wide availability of subversive information on the internet play a role in this?”
Well, I think that’s where I heard about blossoms, which I found especially repellant. Which is where men — well, I guess women, but I’ve only found men — have been fist-fucked so much that their anuses are outside of their ass, like a cauliflower. And they compare who has the biggest blossom. I found that fairly appalling.Jesus Christ.
[laughs] I don’t think that’s been topped. I’ve heard about “ultimate nudity,” which I don’t know is real or not; some men, probably in Los Angeles, where it would seem to be more appropriate, have the skin of their testicles removed and replaced with clear plastic on the theory that it’s more erotic to see how the sperm is made. I’ve never seen that, but I hope that’s true…
This one is from Catie, 40, in New York. “In your opinion, how many more years ’til cable television starts airing live executions, and would you watch?”
They did! What do you think Saddam Hussein’s was? I was at a skiing resort, over Christmas and New Year’s, at a beautiful fancy dinner with people in couture and everything, and they were sitting there with laptops watching Saddam Hussein be executed. There was a real photo-op.
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Now there’s a loaded expression.
After retiring from a modelling career that went up and down with the tidal shifts in her saline implants, becoming the human trainwreck hostess of the original Reality TV celebrities-more-fucked-up-than-us show, marrying a wizened zombie with one foot in the grave (nip slip in the wedding photos), hosting a poolside wake for him a few months later and nearly knocking the casket into the water with her drunken antics, sexually assaulting at least one personal assistant, and killing off her eldest child by sharing a Barbaro-sized dose of recreational methadone, Anna Nicole Smith has finally done the right thing by her offspring and has died of the both euphemistic and true-on-so-many-levels heart failure at the Hard Rock Casino resort in Florida.
Do you know anyone else who parties so hard they take a private nurse with them to the Casino?
Update: looks like she needed that nurse!
While it’s a shame when anyone so young is taken, I can’t bring myself to shed a tear for this narcissistic hedonist. Her little girl (paternity still a matter before the courts) is better off without her. If Anna Nicole Smith did an honest, generous act in her life the track record would lead me to believe she did it by accident.
Defamer, as always, has the best roundup.
Larry King is back, and he’s confident that the legal system will eventually figure out who’s the father of her newborn daughter Dannielynn. He almost sounds cocky about it, leading us to suspect he’s trying to hint the baby is his, just to prove his incredible virility at an advanced age.
King once again falls into reverie, recalling the time she appeared on his show so drunk and incomprehensible that SNL reran the interview without altering it. She’s compared to Marilyn Monroe (for a variety of reasons), called “not the smartest woman in the world,” but also “fun.” King is clearly working through his feelings on-air.
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raincoaster 