Not to point out the obvious, but has anyone else noticed that the oxytocin rush associated with New Parenthood often results in complete failure of perspective? If I didn’t know better, I’d swear this was ripped from a Kate Hudson/Steve Martin movie. And maybe, some day, it will be.
While we’re dwelling on that (un)happy thought, here are our gossip links for your perusal. I would have put them up yesterday, but apparently Vancouver got kicked off the internet before I got that done.
Yes, it’s that very special time on the blog: the time when we dump all our celebrity links for the day because we are too lazy/stressed/drunk/busy to do a real, proper 250 words for you. So hold your nose and swallow like a good little media consumer! YAY CELEBUTARDS!
Speaking of which, here’s an adorkable little video of children reacting to Rebecca Black‘s immortal musical meisterwerk, Friday.
“I know it’s the thought that counts, but…the money counts too!”
Normally, as you know, I am so NOT all about the self-conscious hipsters (apologies: I repeat myself) particularly those of ironic eyewear, but in this case I must give it up to Mister Paul Rudd, who suggests that on your birthday, you ask your friends to donate your age in dollars to the Cancer Society. Now, this may well bankrupt my friends, but you, according to Quantcast, are younger, and you should be doing this. I mean, if they spend that money on PBR you’re just gonna have a beer belly and a hangover to show for it the next day, right? Whereas fighting cancer provides a glow which makes one irresistable to the opposite sex (as several cancer fakers of my acquaintance know and have taken advantage of, and don’t worry, I’ve taken care of them in ways they don’t even know yet).
Am I ranting? Oh, let me rant. I beat cancer: I’m entitled to rant a bit. If you’re feeling ranty right along with me, here are some infuriating, medically-themed gossip links for you to read and ensure that your blood pressure remains elevated. If you get angry enough, it even counts as aerobic!
FOR ASLAN AND FOR NARNIA and also for cheap comedy
In case your grey, humdrum world is entirely bereft of joy and sunshine, here are 50 photos of basset hounds running to brighten your meaningless, pathetic existence. We strongly suggest you shout the above line at the top of your lungs when viewing each image. This will provide both an endorphin rush and needed oxygenation. (h/t SeanCranbury)
If that alone cannot shock you out of your black fog of existential despair, we suggest reading the following gossip links and laughing out loud at the thought that all of these ridonkulous losers are paid far more than you ever will be.
It's FRIDAY! Time to peel those scales off your eyes!
If you’ve wondered, along with the rest of the internet, about the root cause of Rebecca Black’s sudden, irresistable stardom, may I suggest a close viewing of the following will clear up all ambiguity.
All ambiguity.
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age. HP Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
raincoaster 