It’s that perennial Christmas favorite from General Ursus; you remember him, the chauvinistic, homicidal military fascist from the Planet of the Apes? not Dr. Zaius, the one with the blog and the snappy musical. The other one.
Played (as always) by GenX icon and YouTube favorite and phenomenon Brian Atene, who teases us that he has more where that came from, going up on Christmas Day.
No surprise here. And if you say there IS one, I’ll … go Dorothy Parker on your ass!
You Would Be a Witty Celebrity |
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And while you may branch out into other areas, your cutting insight and sarcasm would always be your trademark. As a celebrity, you would not be afraid of publicity stunts and working the press a little. You wouldn’t take any of it very seriously. You’d be a celebrity in the mold of Tina Fey, Sara Silverman, Seth Rogen, and Will Ferrell. |
It’s everyone’s favorite nutty Frenchman, Remi Gaillard, with his patented, trademarked, and copyrighted brand of divine madness.
Bat? Man? Tard?
Celebrity tweets, treated to dramatic reading. This one features Courtney Love, Tila Tequila, and Jessica Simpson.Verified accounts, all. Sounds like a party!
You just know those poor actors are going: for this, I went to COLLEGE!
No, that’s not a misspelling of some random Bjork tune; it’s what the incoherent, rambling speech of Sarah Palin turned into once the immortal William Shatner got his paws on it. Behold:
From the full, delicious, transcript:
And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature’s finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it’s the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn’t it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs? And then in the summertime such extreme summertime about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here, Mother Nature wins. It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future. That is what we get to see every day. Now what the rest of America gets to see along with us is in this last frontier there is hope and opportunity and there is country pride.
And, topical as always, Vanity Fair has already published Palin’s notes for the historic speech.
raincoaster 