Category Archives: Christmas

Dear Santa:

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Julian Assange waits patiently for me

Julian Assange waits patiently for me, but why isn't he nekkid?

 

 

Just a late note, in case the Post Office is still delivering. I posted it on Gawker days ago, but I don’t think he reads that rag.

Is it TOO MUCH TO ASK, Universe, to wake up on Christmas morning to find Julian Assange and Laird Hamilton under the tree, naked, tied together with leather straps, and very happy to see me?

I mean, fuck. Is it TOO MUCH TO ASK?

#crosstalk

@raincoaster: hell, I’m in. I’d like colin firth and matthew goode, please

#crosstalk

@bellinibubbles: Let’s make this a meme.

#crosstalk

@raincoaster: I wouldn’t want to mess with Gabrielle Reece’s man. She looks fierce.

#crosstalk

@Salome Valentine: I KNOW! Besides, I love her and their baby is adorable. But he’s gorgeous.

#crosstalk

@LatestBy: You’re telling me. I have two, actually: blond hunks and arrogant geniuses. Steve Jobs is in the latter category.

#crosstalk

@raincoaster: Have you ever seen this episode ofIconoclasts? It’s my favorite (Eddie Vedder & Laird Hamilton).

#crosstalk

@Salome Valentine: Oh, sigh. Christmas has come early!

He’s so much like a blond Henry Rollins, only without the aggro and about 30IQ points. Sigh.

#crosstalk

InCOMING!

INCOMING!

Merry Fucking Christmas to you, too, Morticia

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Morticia must be PMSing or something

Morticia must be PMSing or something

Fight it, girl! YOU CAN DO IT!

And so (somewhat abruptly) to our gossip links. These used to be more fun when they were cocktail themed, but, well, my liver and I are not on speaking terms right now.

Jesus has two Daddies! (Warning: extreme cuteness)(raincoaster)

John Cusack then whispered it to attack Piven’s hairpiece (Lolebrity)

Ho, ho, ho! It’s a very 70′s Christmas (Ayyyy)

The secret Santa/Ninja connection (ManoloFood)

Elf you! South Park style cards (AgentBedhead)

RyRey gets ready for me (BusyBeeBlogger)

Keira Knightly gives the men of the world the greatest Christmas present ever (CeleBitchy)

Least Likely Headline Ever: There’s No Paris Hilton Sex Tape (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Yes, the Brittany Murphy story is getting even creepier (EarSucker)

Vanessa Hudgens, Michael Jackson impersonator (FitFabCeleb)

Tiny Goth gnome hides under mushroom (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Zac Efron eats street meat (HaveUHeard)

Pauly D has World’s Worst Hair and His Own TV Show (INeedMyFix)

The 12 films of Christmas (Movieline)

Quiz: What Reindeer Are You?

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Yep, another startlingly accurate internet quiz. These things are starting to scare me, actually.


You Are Comet


A total daredevil, you’re the reindeer with an edge! 

Why You’re Naughty: You almost gave Santa a heart attack when you took him sky diving

Why You’re Nice: You always make sure the sleigh is going warp speed

Jesus Has Two Daddies!

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Jesus does indeed have two daddies, and he turned out okay

Jesus does indeed have two daddies, and he turned out okay

It’s TRUE! Jesus has two daddies: and a camel-load of cute, in this adorbz video by adorbz Kiwi toddlers, who re-enact the Christmas story with some snazzy costumes, Oscar-quality performances, and the irresistible power of Teh Kyoot.

T’was the Night Before Christmas, with Werner Herzog

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Oh, this is pure genius, this is. The apparently-demented Ryan Iverson channels Werner Herzog reading that holiday children’s classic, A Visit from St. Nicholas, aka T’was the Night Before Christmas.

Sweet dreams, kiddies!

And now, to your thrice-weekly self-serving gossip links:

Christmas Caroling with GWAR! (raincoaster)
Julian Assange is no Time Lord (Lolebrity)
The most important question of our time (Ayyyy)
Care for a Tumbler? (ManoloFood)
This Christmas, give the gift of Goopy Schadenfreude (AgentBedhead)
Because Thetans are very low in fat and calories (BusyBeeBlogger)
Oh silly Shania, Canada doesn’t have hillbillies! (CeleBitchy)
RIP the only police detective to throw a “Your Favorite 4th Century BC Greek Philosopher” costume party and get away with it (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Ho, ho, ho, and others besides the Kardashians too (GirlsTalkinSmack)
The Curse of 30 Rock strikes again! (HaveUHeard)
The lead cellist was extremely resistant to his suggestion to “bring his A-game” (INeedMyFix)
Take a tour of Jack Black’s colon! (SeriouslyOMG)