Rav Jousting: Knights on cars vid o’ the day

There are no words for this…it makes insanity look like accountancy.

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six-word stories

Hemingway by StraterThere are an infinite to the power of ten number of games, tricks, memes, generators, and other gizmos to give writers the well-deserved smack on the bottom or the top that they need to be really creative, including Flash Fiction. One of the best Flash Fiction sites is David B. Dale‘s, and fortunately the standard there is high enough to give some feeble hope to us skeptics. Not enough, though, to override my belief that in very few cases do these artificially confining pretences lead to actually great writing. I can think of Ramsay Campbell‘s short story, “Heading Home,” which literally could not have been done in any art form other than writing. It is the least-filmable piece ever committed to mass market paperback. There is also the great Dorothy Parker‘s perfect poem “Two-Volume Novel,”

The sun’s gone dim, and
The moon’s turned black;
For I loved him, and
He didn’t love back.

But this, six-word flash fiction, and perhaps the most restrictive of those challenges, takes inspiration from this great work of Ernest Hemingway‘s

For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn.

How much daring must a human being have to go up against competition like this, or even to exist in the same sphere? Hemingway himself said it was his best work, and he was no slouch in the work or opinion departments, for all his boozing.

This is the roundup that Wired magazine collected from some of the top SciFi writers today(stolen from Wil Wheaton), and I must say that, however neat the idea, this is one sad sack of sentences. While some of them would make a good first line for a conventional novel

Kirby had never eaten toes before.
Kevin Smith

most of them are rather laurel-resty

Don’t marry her. Buy a house.
Stephen R. Donaldson

Hearteningly, a scant handful actually live up to the challenge and do justice to the reputations of the writers. It lights a fire in my soul and the souls of all good readers and writers when we see good or great writers writing this well:

It’s behind you! Hurry before it
Rockne S. O’Bannon

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
Margaret Atwood

Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
Alan Moore

And here, to leave you with our ambiguously depressing thought for the day, is Hemingway’s Nobel Prize acceptance speech, as read at the banquet by the American ambassador to Sweden. At two minutes and ten seconds, it is in its own right Flash Speechifying, but nonetheless eternal for that. If the player doesn’t work for you the text over the jump, and here is a Realplayer version of Hemingway himself reading it; if any of you can convert that horrific medium to an MP3 I would be much obliged.


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Continue reading

it’s No Name-Calling Week, mofos!

Poetic Insult, you maroonz! 

Indeed, in the topsy-turvey, through-the-looking-glass world which is New Jersey, it has been officially declared No Name-Calling Week.

Naturally, this set us to thinking, here at the ol’ raincoaster blog. It set us to thinking that this was a concept upon which we could improve. It, along with this post from TAN, well really it, the post from TAN, this post from Lori, and the proven fact that insults, ire, and sheer poopyheadedness generate more comments than reason or normalcy, set us to thinking that we could have some fun with the comments section this week.

It’s Name-Calling Week, fuckerz!

Do your best. Comments which do not include at least one name-calling incident and which aren’t of sufficient mind-boggling stone cold merit to earn a pass from me will have a point deleted from the commenter’s score. All commenters start with zero points, and you earn one for each insult. I, as the Price Waterhouse Cooper of the contest, am exempt and so, for obvious reasons, are serious comment threads.

May the worst mouth win.

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googlewhack hack attack!

Ever googlewhacked? It’s an activity highly recommended for those slow Saturday nights when you’ve got no pressing chores, a pot of tea at your elbow, and a highly caffeinated imagination. And, now, a tool to hack it with!

Look what I found! From Gooogie, via the Generator Blog. Yeah, come to think of it…that IS what I meant to search for.

george...right, it was george!

and Jake Gyllenhaal is telling you…

tia.jpgSo it appears, it doth, that I didn’t make the shortlist for the coveted Bloggies. And I didn’t make the shortlist for the Weblog Awards, either. But will that stop me from pimping my blog out for the Koufax Awards, the Engtech Contest, and any other ego rocketfuel I can find? Hell to the no!

Let’s sit back and let the great dramatic actor Jake Gyllenhaal explain it to you.