Category Archives: Crime

Oops, I blogged it again

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Okay, so for those of you who are too stupid to realize you’re deploying history’s most effective information-dissemination weapon when you blog, we present the following, moronic, cautionary tale:

brain lightning

It is with a heavy heart that today I must announce the temporary suspension of Cocaine Corner. After the events of this week–which for various reasons I cannot detail in this forum–it has become clear to me that this endeavor simply cannot be continued for the time being. In retrospect, it now seems completely idiotic to have documented, in writing, the types of things I’ve documented on this site, and for that, I’ll always be sorry.

 

Quite an undertaking: Deadblogging Milosevic

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MilosevicSomething that’s not done often enough is liveblogging the death of a horrific war criminal. Here’s just what you need to unblock that entertainment-news-stodge in your gut.

Deadblogging Milosevic

 

 

 

But wait, there’s Updates!

Wrapped in a Serbian flag, the coffin was received by a few party members, who kissed it as if it were his hand. Some thousand followers were scattered during his last drive through town.That’s pretty much how he left Belgrade five years ago, in half secrecy, half embarrassment. He was alive then, technically.

I Have an Alibi!!!!

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Honestly, officer, I was nowhere near Nigeria!

Penises Purloined!

three young men have allegedly lost their genitals in mysterious circumstances…Alarmed, he started shouting ‘my penis, my pennies’ and he touched me and immediately I too also felt the same way and my penis also disappeared and so it was with the third victim, so we all raised alarm and a crowd gathered at the scene,” he narrated.

Now, I’m having a real hard time not posting this under “Allegory” but I shall restrain myself.

True Patriot Acts

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Patriot Acts

search me

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Which I only use as a title because it is such a cheap and easy pun. When I actually used that expression in speech (mostly back before puberty) I always thought it was “Certs me” and, indeed, it makes no less sense that way than most things we learned from the grownups.

In any case, for sociological research purposes, here is a list of things people have searched for to get to my blog over the past couple of days. Read ’em and … make puzzled expressions as you try to find meaning in a meaningless univer…oh, never mind. I’ve been reading too much French literature lately. You wil note: no squid. And I wonder if the evidently excited person looking for “COWBOY MEAT” was, in fact, hoping for screencaps of Brokeback Mountain.

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Kira hirsuta
COWBOY MEAT
roll up the rim founder at quebec
Gay Famous People
School spankin
phoebe cates
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“roll-up-the-rim” jerome
raincoaster
Steven page cowichan sweater
Luna orca
tim hortons roll up the wil to win
correct douching
NARNIA porno