Betcha didn’t know there was an Antarctic Octopus, eh? But seriously, how could there not be, given the presence of the Underground Lake of Gigantic Albino Penguins and A Few Feral Shoggoths? You so should have seen this coming.
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Whenever you see this, the unspeakable Blue Screen of Cthulhu, be sure to place an immediate call to Yog Sysop.
Fortunately, there’s a way to protect your vulnerable computer from infection by rogue shoggoths, atavistic aquatic DNA manifestations, pesky lone wolf journalists, interfering Ivy League professors, and other catastrophic events which interfere with the normal day-to-day operations of your Cthulhu Cultists.
Yes, it’s Shub Niggurath Systemworks:
– AntiVirus to protect your system from infection once Cthulhu has his way with it.
– CrashGuard prevents the Blue Screen Of Cthulhu.
– Cleansweep clears away all those nasty, unwanted system shoggoths.
– Web Services helps with any problems you may have with Yog Sysop.
Comes in yellow sign colored packaging.
What are you waiting for? Get off your f’tagn ass,
and go buy. . .
Shub Niggurath Systemworks 2000
Your system, and your very soul, just mind[sic?] depend on it.
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From Defamer comes the shocking news that, while inside the chapel, out of sight of the public, Anna Nicole Smith‘s casket was attacked by a cluster of giant, pink, and apparently grief-crazed Squid, who threw themselves upon the coffin in an undistinguishable mass of blubbering pinkitude. Judging by their plumage the cephalopods are part of the Bobby Trendy Posse, known to make their homes near the warm waters of Santa Monica, Miami, and Palm Springs.
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We here at the ol’ raincoaster blog have recently and painstakingly conducted a customer satisfaction survey among a representative focus group of our readers. Thanks to the participants’ enthusiastic responses, we are now able to bring you programming tailored to your specific needs.
But we’re not going to. We’re going to talk about Squid.
The redoubtable (whatever that means, but it sounds positive and not at all ambivalent, which you would think it would be, if you scanned it too closely) Envelope Filter has come up with something better than a quiz; something better than a random, computer-generated Delphic Oracle, forever providing inappropriate answers to simple questions such as “what is my totem Japanese emoticon?” or “what kind of fairy princess am I, you fucktard?”
announcing:
The Tentacle Pornstar Name Challenge
If you were starring in a tentacle porn flick, what would your name be?
This is far too hilarious to not have a go at!
It has occurred to me that the possibility of crossing Lovecraft references with Porn with Japanese with The Internet might create some kind of geek singularity from which there is no escape, or create a black hole, or worse yet some kind of meme, but those are risks I’m willing to take.
Seriously – I need the entertainment that much this week. Don’t let me down people!
Responses to the comments! Winner gets pimped by an insignificant blog! How can you resist!?!
And in case you were wondering? My entry: Tentacool McJiggler!!
In the name of science, do chicks dig gills? I’ve got to mac me a shorty that digs that!
Put your tentacle porn name in the comments on his site; entries here won’t count, as I have not even imaginary prizes to hand out.
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raincoaster 