This monster is no myth! The Tully Monster is real, it's here, it's extremely queer, and it's absolutely unquestionably Squid. I mean, look in those eyes.
The Tully Monster is the official state fossil of Illinois, having beaten out many an elderly barfly for the coveted honour. Nobody seems to know what the little stalks are, but they've decided, after no doubt having enjoyed a lovely crab dinner, that they must be eyestalks and therefore, and also because of the teeth, that must be the front end of the monster. One notes, one does, that the museum report goes out of its way to stress that there is no evidence that the area with the teeth, which you might be tempted to call a "mouth" connects with the esophagus. So, like, what does?
Curiouser and curiouser: how strange can this Squid get? They think maybe it just gnawed things with the teeth and then sort of slid around until the actual intake met up with the mangled prey and hoovered it up. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. How many years of nursery school do you need to become a paleontologist?
Whatever. You just gotta salute (with all ten tentacles) an ancient, unclassifiable Official State Fossil Squid-like Creature that was discovered by a wandering amateur loony with a metal detector and a collecting fetish.
Dan Tully directs visitors to his Homer Glen home with some simple instructions — it's the one with three tractors on the front lawn.
The retired Lockport cop collects everything from farm implements to belt buckles dug up on his frequent metal-detector forays.
But Tully will be the first to admit that none of his prospecting treasures has quite the stature of his dad's discovery: a 300-million-year-old fossilized creature so strange it was dubbed "Tully monster."
Dan's father, Francis X. Tully, found the fossil — now on display at the Field Museum as part of a new exhibit on evolution — when the two were on one of their weekend fishing and fossil-hunting trips around 1958 near Braidwood.
"He done most of the fossil huntin', and I done most of the fishin'," Tully joked recently, sitting behind a small black-and-white photo of his father, who died in 1987 at 75, holding up a model of the squid-like creature.
If you google "sexually deprived bitter women" my blog comes up fifth, not that I fucking goddam resent that. I'll be number one some day.
Barbaro broke three bones in his right hind leg, and dislocated what was left of his fetlock to boot. One of the bones that fractured was the 
Update: They've attempted to fuse the joint, which means he'll be able to walk but his racing days, of course, are over. It's as if his right rear leg will be wearing a high-heeled shoe for the rest of his life, while the others wear Nike Air. The entire pastern functions as a shock absorber, which you can see in dressage or in slow-motion replays of racing. Now all the shock will be directed to his hock and his hip, putting them at risk for future injuries, but a life at comfortable stud should be perfectly possible for him, provided he doesn't mess up his recovery.
not the sesamoid injury per se, but rather the damage she did to herself when she came out of anesthesia. Equine medicine has become much more sophisticated since then, but it remains to be seen what will happen with Barbaro. He is already walking. So far he's calm, and he appears to be very people-oriented, which helps him during convalescence. If they ultimately have to put him down, he's a stallion and they will undoubtably take the semen for AI purposes. In this diagram, the bones Barbaro broke are F, E, and D.
And why isn’t 
raincoaster 
