This pic says it all, really. The Aniston/Jolie star wars are what originally drove me off VanityFair’s forum…not just once, not just twice, but fully three times. If the Team Aniston/Team Jolie throng resurface again for yet another death match I’m just gonna suggest they take it to meatspace. Or, given my assumptions about vast hordes of women with far too much time on their hands, an overidentification with celebutards, and a propensity to take other people’s marriage problems far, far too personally, let’s call it “lardspace” instead.
Yes, it’s our fault that Paul McCartney is divorcing Heather Mills. Specifically, it’s the fault of the Federal Fisheries Minister, Loyola Hearn. At least he has the whatever-fish-have-instead-of-balls to take responsibility; he also fesses up to having been behind the Pamela Anderson/Kid Rock re-uptuals.
Federal Fisheries Minister Loyola Hearn said he and fellow Newfoundlander Danny Williams helped take the shine off the former Beatle’s relationship with Heather Mills. So how did a couple of East Coasters manage to orchestrate such a stunning marital meltdown?
Hearn said it all started with McCartney‘s famous appearance last spring on the “Larry King Live” CNN show. McCartney, an animal rights activist, was debating Williams, the Newfoundland and Labrador premier, on the merits of the seal hunt.
Hearn said McCartney showed respect for the points Williams made in defence of the hunt, but his wife – apparently a more zealous anti-sealing activist – was “not so gracious…”
Of course, it hasn’t been all bad news for anti-sealing celebrities. Hearn noted that Pamela Anderson got hitched – to musician Kid Rock – after protesting the seal hunt.
Well, what can I add to this? It’s shameful the way these Sesame Street stars no longer even bother to hide it.
Not everyone knows that Entourage was originally based on Sesame Street, but the Children’s Television Workshop put the kibosh on that plot point and made them change it, on pain of having to go without kneecaps or the letter R for the rest of their lives.
A tense moment passed between Access Hollywood‘s Maria Menounos and Big Bird, when the Sesame Street star began to suspect that the reporter’s wandering hand was engaged less in the sensual caress that he demanded than in a fumbling search for his rapidly engorging avian member.
Truth be told: I have no idea who that chick is, but I’m smart enough to know that hawt brunette-on-bird action is gonna be massive for hits.
Now if only I could find that pic ofLauren Huttonand Rolf Harris’ emu…
It’s true what Tina Turner said, that rap is a great thing because now you don’t even have to be able to sing to be a rock star. Very egalitarian.
And Jessica Delfino can’t sing, really, well, she’s about as good as I am, meaning she can’t sing, really, but she sure can write a catchy tune, and she raps pretty well for a white girl. As the fellow who put it on YouTube says, “Such a pretty face, such a dirty mouth.” Definitely a winning combination, now as ever.
CONTROVERSIAL SINGER-SONGWRITER Jessica Delfino‘s latest chart-topping single[sic, I’m supposing this is a joke], “My Pussy Is Magic,” has been expunged from the pages of YouTube. The video–a virtual palimpsest [also sic; I have no idea what they think this word means] of stark images of Jessica tunefully fluttering in front of stark images of vaginas–was banned this morning.
And restored in a coupla hours. There’s something to be said for being Gawked and Aped and (as would have happened inevitablybut is at this moment only waiting in the wings) BoingBoinged and Farked.
As Jessy said on YouTube:
If God had meant us to be naked he would’ve made us that way. Naked women is not porn according to law, so YouTube should move to Iran where it is a crime. Neo-Nazis are bad people.
This morning, “My Pussy Is Magic“, the new dance hit video by me, Jessica Delfino, was removed from Youtube.com for being considered “inappropriate”! Inappropriate my ass! If anyone saw the video, they saw lots of vaginas. Since when are vaginas inappropriate? I came out of a vagina, and so did the makers of Youtube.
The video had reached 20,000 views, and then was removed this morning.
Youtube was bought by Google, and now my poor, rising video was crushed. Does Google censor art!? Write to them and ask!
Viva Canuckistan!
raincoaster 