Category Archives: Dating

It’s that time of the month

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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Time to give your meat a makeover.

From Vancouver’s favorite street hooker advocate, ex-prostitute, ex-city council council candidate, ex-current-and-future madam, and ex-man, Jamie Lee Hamilton.

MEAT n MIX


Hi All,

Just a reminder that next Friday May 26 is our Meat n
Mix at the Lotus – 455 Abbott Street. As usual from
6-9pm.

Besides our meat draws, we will have Queen for a day.
I have met a wonderful make-up artist named Sam, who
is going to demonstrate to us all his hot make-up tips
for the summer. We will draw a ticket for the lovely
lady who will be Queen for a day as Sam and myself
will do a complete make-up/transformation on stage.
You will be ready to strut the night away after at one
of your fav spots.

Since summer is approaching those new make-up colours
need to be explored. Sam will have on hand his brand
of Mac, Dior and Estee Lauder. I’ve already ordered a
number of his products.

As usual, funds raised for Meat n Mix will go toward
One-Woman NGO. Remember there is no charge to come to
Meat n Mix.

I really hope Colleen shows this time. If anyone has
seen Colleen please tell her all work and no play does
not make for Queen for a Day!

See you on Friday May 26 in the Mix pub for Makeover
Meat n Mix from 6-9pm.

PS all you guys need to attend as well cuz Sam will
offer skin care advice for you. 

Cheers

Jamie Lee

Linkie o’ the Day: Ask Chaucer 2.0

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From Geoffrey Chaucer's blog, right over there on the blogroll.

Dear Mr. Chaucer,

Okay, so there's, like, this guy at school and he is TOTALLY hot and I think he likes me – like, he hasn't SAID anything? But Jamie heard from Marissa that Brooke had overhead him saying that he was completely into me!! And I like totally trust them? Except that this guy used to date M'lyssa and exes are like SO out of bounds, it's so not cool! But then she was all "oh, we're thinking about getting back together too" and the rest of us were just like, "umm, get over yourself?" and she was like "no", and we were like "yeah" and now she's not talking to any of us which is SOOO unreasonable, she is such a drama queen oh my god and she has the fugliest hair, she had it like slicked back yesterday and I was just like "what the hell?"
So anyways, do you think I should go for him???

Love,
Hopeless Romantic

Ma chere Romantique sans Espoir,

Thou knowst wel the oolde clerkes sawe, ‘who shal yeve a loevere any lawe’? And also that fayre couplete of Boethius his Consolation of Philosophie that saith ‘quis legem det amantibus, maior enim lex est amor sibi,’ the whiche on englysshe tonge meneth ‘Who shal yiven loveres a lawe? ffor love ys for ytselfe a gretere lawe.’

Thus, thyn affecioun for thys manne of hotnesse doth surpasse eny bonde or promise thou hast ymade with Marisse. But onlye, I counsel thee, yf yt doth drawe yts source from cupides owen trewe arwe, and yf yt ys sovereine and powirful love (and nat simplye a passynge fancie). So yf yt be trewe and honest love, proceede, wyth litle thoghte for litel boondes yn fikel frendshep yforged. And yet, be nat cruelle aboute Marisses hairestyle, for as Cicero saith: odium ludo non ludatori, the whiche meneth hate nat the playere but the game.

Le Vostre
GC

Eau No! Eau de Stilton

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Blue Cheese 

From Sploid. I have to wonder, though, about their use of the phrase "what may be the world's first cheese-inspired perfume." I mean, that's a sure bet if ever I saw one, if there's a merciful god in heaven and if there weren't, surely we'd have gotten the memo by now.

Though it's odor has been compared to a dead mouse, the folks who make Stilton cheese are introducing a new perfume based on the legendary stench.

The Stilton Cheese Makers Association is working with an aromatics manufacturer to produced what may be the world's first cheese-inspired perfume, Eau de Stilton.

The number of people for whom the scent of Stilton would be an improvement is mercifully small. And if you've gotten to the point where Stilton would make you smell better, you're probably not on the market for perfume.

Operation Global Media Domination: Lost in Translation

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TIAWhen raincoaster checks the ol' raincoaster stats, she looks for many things: total hit count, most popular blog entry, signs of the coming Apocalypse…it's like necromancy, but you don't have to wash your hands afterwards unless you get very excited. Among the things that she looks for are links through which readers have clicked to arrive at raincoaster, the blog. And this one from yesterday particularly caught her eye.

It appears to be a Google translation of this post, a roundup of search engine terms that brought people to the blog. This is known as a feedback loop, and is sneakily effective in gaining new readers and hooking back the old ones, even if they were only looking for Narnia Mango Somali Porn.

Oops, I did it again!

Anywhoooo, the words on this page that were beyond Google's ability to translate were quite interesting. In the interests of creating a new, more selective feedback loop, and in the interest of confusing the Chinese, I will here list all terms in that raincoaster post found untranslatable by Google:

Narnia, Ian McKellen, Fatman, pervs, snotflower, creamer, ventibrevemocha, lattes, buggers, cholesteral, patchouli, eggnog latte, decaf, comin', Pablo, Sandford Tuey, raincoaster, voyeur, appy, tiaras, 9.11, WhiteSpot, Hogwarts, Deuel, Cates, vagina, spankin', Conference, shebeen, Wuthering, screencaps, jocari, Doktari, sumpin', slimin', spay, watchin'.

Did you ever do those assignments in school where you were supposed to use each of a whole snotload of words in a sentence? I was terribly literalminded, and always tried to get them all into one sentence, which drove my teachers nuts, but even I would have to admit defeat when faced with the above list.

FYI Here are today's search engine items that led here. I must say, we're getting better. Classier, weirder, and less Somali-porn-based. Some Somali trivia: You know Iman? When she left Somalia she took everything worth looking at with her.

beautiful agony, shit eating, dorks, eagle cam in Vancouver, Canada, Juvénal Habyarimana -site:africadatabas, Celebrity Censorship, jesus lego, birthday animation, cocaine corner, Giant Squid

Hottest Pickup Lines of the Fourteenth Century

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Is that a longsword in your pocket?Apparently there's some kind of Medieval Scholar Knees-Up/Conference going on this week, and in the spirit of contributing to the occasion (although he is long dead), Geoffrey Chaucer has posted in his blog some of the best pickup lines of the late Middle Ages. Use with care; we assume no liability, etc.

Warning: as one commenter says, some of these were old even in G-Ch's time.

GALFRIDUS CHAUCERES LYNES OF PICKE-VPPE:

-Yf thou were a latyn tretise ich wolde putte thee in the vernacular.

-Nyce bootes. Wanna swyve?

-Shulle we maken the cindreblokke to synge?

-Woldstow haue me shyfte thyne voweles?

-Were thou yn my seisin, ich wolde nevir escheat on thee. 

-The preeste telleth me that we aren more than VII degrees of consanguinitee. Game on!

-Ich notyce that myn demense and thyn do abutte. Wolde yt plese thee to consolidate ovre powere-base in the midlands?

-Makstow a pilgrymage heere often?

–By my soule, thou art a verye mappe of helle. For The Hot Tubthy face lyk the rivere Styx wil make me swere oothes neuer to be fforsworn, and thy embrace lyk the Lethe shal make me foryet al else, and lyk vnto the Flegeton thyn arse ys ON FYRE!

-Howe abovte a blancmange and the acte of Venus? Whatte, blancmange pleseth thee nat?

-If ich sayde that thou hadde a bele chose, woldstow holde it ayeinst me?