Japanese porn rice

Cougar rice!

I suppose the accurate English translation would be Cougar Rice.

Japanprobe reports that a Japanese porn company has just released a “100% adult” rice called “Jukujo Rice,” jukujo being the Japanese word for a Mrs. Robinson-type sexy older woman character in a porn flick.

The rice is produced by Soft On Demand, one of Japan’s biggest porn companies, and it’s packaging says that it is “100% Adult” rice. It looks like you also have to be over 18 to purchase it…

I can see the marketing plan now: somewhere in a tawdry garret apartment an underpaid screenwriter is banging out a sushi delivery boy porn script; the movie will feature Nicolette Sheridan and some overendowed and underdiscriminating Japanese guy yet to be cast. Working title: Special Sauce.

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Father Guido Sarducci sings the Beatles!

The great Father Guido Sarducci was probably responsible for turning more coke-addled, Mineshaft-going athiests into alcoholic, community-center-haunting Catholics than any other figure of the late Twentieth Century. Here, in a special appearance at the Vatican, he performs a medly of Beatles tunes to a typically adoring crowd.

Father Guido Sarducci has spent the past thirty years living and working in the United States as gossip columnist and rock critic for the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano. Recently, he was also appointed Assistant Managing Editor for the Vatican Inquirer.
American audiences first became familiar with Father Sarducci during the golden years of “Saturday Night Live,” when he appeared regularly as a commentator on “Weekend Update.” He has also been a frequent and welcome guest on “The Tonight Show” and “David Letterman.”

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Shakespeare is a virus

go ahead, make Samuel L. Jackson's day, punk.

or at least a meme. Try this if you dare! Ærchie rushed in where tenured profs fear to type, and here’s a sample:

The quality of WordPress is not strain’d,
It droppeth little hints as the gentle rain
From DrMike upon the wordpress forum: it is twice blest;
It blesseth him that writes and him that reads:
‘Tis mightiest in the blogosphere: it becomes
The throned monarch much better than all competition;
His stats show the force of technorati power,
The attributes of Andy’s widgets surpass all,
Wherein askimet doth ease the fear of spam…

Read the rest of this moving masterwork before Kenneth Branagh buys up the rights.

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quiz: what will your famous last words be?

I know, another quiz. But it’s really quite funny. And my crystal ball says it’s “scary good”.


Your Famous Last Words Will Be:


“So, you’re a cannibal.”

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Show me the luv, people: the Bloggie Awards: nominatez-moi!

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blogging: act III, scene 1: an allegory in iambic pentameter (more or less)

NEED MORE MONKEYS

The Big Question

To blog, or not to blog: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the blogosphere to suffer
The flames and scrapings of outrageous trolls,
Or to take arms against a web of aggro
And by contacting their ISPs, end it? To ban: to delete;
No more; and by deletion to say we end
The meme-pests and the thousand spam comments
That blogs are heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To ban: to delete;
To delete: perchance to start a forum: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that Technorati void what YouTubes may rest unblogged
When we have shuffled off this blogging platform,
Must give us pause: there’s the dynamic ranking
That makes calamity of a dead URL;
For who would bear the Monty Python quotes and casino links of trolls,
The support staff’s delay, the corporate parent’s avarice,
The pangs of despised fandom, the copyright infringement enforcement,
The insolence of office workers and the spurns
That regular updating of the dilettantish LiveJournallers takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a critical keystroke? who would Farkers bear,
To grunt and sweat under flourescent lights,
But that the dread of missing a new meme,
The undiscover’d bit bucket from whose bourn
No blogmeister returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those glitches we have
Than fly to platforms that we know not of?
Thus WordPress does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of e-cool-hunting
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of doubt,
And blogs of great pith and merriment
With this regard their RSS feeds turn awry,
And lose the name of action.–Soft you now!
The fair Bloggie Awards! Nymph, in thy nominations
Be all my Top Posts remember’d.

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