I THINK this comes from Korea, but what the hell do I know? Except ain’t no way North American kids would sit still long enough to learn this unless it was a kind of video game.
Doesn’t that bring a tear to your eye? Now that you can’t see, it’s time to turn to today’s Mother’s Day themed Celebrity gossip links:
Sorry about yesterday: I was travelling and then I was pubbing and then I was sleeping. If I know my audience, you could probably use a dose of cheery-uppy videos and whatnot by this point in the week, so here you go: today’s unicorn chaser roundup
Yes, I bet you didn’t know Public Enemy #1, Information Anarchist and James Bond Villain Julian Assange was a fluffer. But now, we have the evidence:
julian assange is a hardcore fluffer
What? WHAT??? He is TOO straight.
Do click on the image and read the amazing Julian Assange/Harry Potter fanfic. I got no farther than “and he reached into his pants (obviously for his mobile phone)” before losing it completely.
Speaking of gifs of hot men and losing it completely, here is a gif of Prince Harry being adorable with an adorable little kid. Ladies, fasten your ovaries, because they’re going to make a break for it.
Prince Harry is present and accounted for. My ovaries? Not so much.
Young Boy: The prince! Where?
Prince Harry: I’m here, it’s me. Sorry to disappoint, but it’s only me
Yeaaaaah. Winning: that’s what it really looks like, Charlie Sheen.
And now for a little dance music: Let’s Dance by Nouvelle Vague, with video from Godard’s Bande à Part. Watching Serge Gainsbourg move, you can see what Fran Lebowitz meant when she said, “People who say they’re really good at dancing mean something entirely different by it.”
And if that hasn’t satiated your appetite for mindless, soothing feel-goodism, here are the celebrity links! Aren’t you excited?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!
Jack Layton is the Redshirt
Once Jack Layton figured out the fundamental problem with his campaign wardrobe, it didn’t take him long to move into Stornoway. Clothing doesn’t make the man, but it DOES make the vote margin, it would seem.
Speaking of superficiality, click over the jump for today’s politically-themed celebrity links. Don’t worry, politics is just showbiz for ugly people, right?
Randy and Evi Quaid Mugshots
Yes, I was at the world premiere of Randy and Evi Quaid‘s billed-as-docudrama-but-actually-comedy, “Starwhackers.” And it was…um…it was…unforgettable? Bizarre? Amateurish? Uninformative? Maddening?
Yeah, that.
So here is the transcribed-from-my-notes liveblog, several days after the fact. Protip: take a Gravol before watching this thing, it appears to have been shot on iPhones held by a caffeine junkie.
I will assume you’re familiar with the background: that the Quaids fled the US claiming they were being persecuted by so-called starwhackers, who kill important stars for the insurance money and also to keep the internet fed with drama (guys, trust me, the internet doesn’t need a new source of drama). The audience was palpably hoping that this film would explain the idea a bit better, but this movie is anything but linear and logical. There were no answers here. There weren’t even any coherent questions.
Click over the jump for the whole fiasco:
English Bay Clouds by SmuttySteff
via SmuttySteff on Instagram
That’s the view of English Bay from the beach. Yes, I live here. You may envy me now.
Now, let’s get some Godzillacorn rainbows up in here:
I believe in Godzillacorn!!! and Rainbows!!!
And if that’s not enough for you, here is my YouTube homeboy Nick Pitera singing a medley of Disney songs. Yeah, yeah, I know he’s got a job doing animation at Pixar and all, but the fact is he should be starring in Pixar movies, not just drawing them. Click, listen, and just TRY to deny it.
If that’s still not enough, click over the jump for today’s roundup of celebrities on whom you can look down. Schadenfreudey!
raincoaster 