the green meanies: a scientific investigation

blue-green meanieSo for the past four days I’ve been on a rather extreme form of diet; yes me, who never goes on diets. And, in the world of diets, faddy or otherwise, it would be hard to find one more extreme than this one. You see, I am not allowed to eat food on this diet.

Let me repeat that: I am not allowed to eat food on this diet.

There is a very good reason the word “Diet” derives from the root word “Die.”

Click onward if you dare and read the entire 2007-word, heart-rending, or at least angina-producing, saga.

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mummified fairy remains found!!!

This is totally legit.

dead fairy closeup

In news bound to rock doctrinaire Evolutionistas everywhere, another set of ancient fairy remains has been found. Assiduous readers of the ol’ raincoaster blog will recall our original reporting on the fossil fairy of Coney Island, which we broke to the larger world several months ago, much to the consternation of the scientific orthodoxy.

Now comes breaking news from Derbyshire, via Neatorama, that the mummified remains of several authentic flower fairies have been located in a barrow somewhere in the countryside. The exact site is being kept secret for obvious reasons; there is no knowing what shameful lengths the charlatans in lab coats might go to in order to erase this stunning blow to their orthodoxy.

The proof is undeniable:

dead fairy autopsy

The 2inch remains complete with wings; skin, teeth, and flowing red hair have been examined by anthropologists and forensic experts who can confirm that the body is genuine. X-rays of the “fairy” reveal an anatomically identical skeleton to that of a child. The bones, however, are hollow like those of a bird making them particularly light. The puzzling presence of a navel evne suggests that the beings reproduce the same as humans despite the absence of reproductive organs.

Well, I’d like to see what the “scientific community” can set against that kind of proof, eh? Try your darndest, you godless heathens! Just look at that photo; it’s even got a Police Evidence Bag and latex gloves! You can’t get much more official than that! Ha! I say again, HA!

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the Spaghetti Harvest, 2007

The Spaghetti Harvest 

Yes, the BBC did a groundbreaking documentary on the Swiss spaghetti farming industry back in 1957 (crappy Realplayer version here), but that’s soooo 20th Century. Here is an update on an independent spaghetti farmer working the family farm in New Jersey, and his valiant fight against corporate Big Spaghetti.

and remember, if you want to grow your own, just follow the advice of the BBC:

place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best

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recycling at its best: refill ink cartridges with squid ink!

Those pesky ink cartridges! The printer companies know they’ve got you over a barrel with those damn things; you print things, you gotta get new cartridges, ain’t no way around it except to refill the ones you have, and that’s not very eco-friendly either. Now, thanks to the geek boys at Ink! Is! It! you can refill your ink cartridges from an ecofriendly, biodegradable, natural-source, renewable-resource source.

Squid, baby!

How to milk a Squid in one easy lesson:

Nine Inch Nails: Survivalism

The latest key to the conspiracy…distributed in USB drives at the London show, March 7th.

Or so they say…

Hmmm, definitely not my favorite NIN song, but the worst thing is…oh god…is Trent actually wearing that badge of the clueless, the Hipster Hijab?

Sure, he’s still hot, but je suis ainsi mortifié!

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