Well, what would YOU do?
Don’t ever live to see the day where the man you love sobs out the other one’s name in the ultimate embrace.
Mina Loy
Actually, that’s how I knew I was officially an urban woman, after growing up in small towns: I fell in love with a gay man. Yep, just call me Carrie Bradshaw!
No, really.
PS posting will be light till next week, maybe one or two per day. Even bloggers deserve a vacation, no?
Many and varied are the Ways of Walken: yea, from the leather-clad styles of Gabriel the Archangel to the bewigged walking nightmare which haunted Hairspray, he is Christopher Chameleon, the Nyarlathotep of the Silver Screen, instantly recognizable yet always different. Christopher Walken is, like the mythical river, never and always the same.
So it is at Christmas Time.
The 12 Days of Christopher Walken
The First Day
The partridge, the pear tree. I trust both have arrived safely on this First Day of Christmas. The partridge, unfortunately, required mounting for shipping. Taxidermy. I had to strangle the poor bird with my own two hands. Sometimes small cruelties must be tolerated for the greater holiday good—in this case, pears.
The Second Day
May the two beautiful turtle doves, enclosed, enliven your Second Day of Christmas. I have recorded their mournful songs on a compact disc, also enclosed, so you will understand why I found it necessary to smother them. These birds—these birds could drive you fucking crazy.
and the rest…
As well, there are those who have grown up, but have yet to abandon the sweet rituals of childhood. Rituals like the annual Letter to Santa. But when you’re a thirty-five-year-old nightclub booker, you have to find an edgier recipient for the sake of your reputation, hence:
While Artist-in-Residence at Cornell’s arts dorm, I was expected to come up with stimulating art-related programs for the students to participate in. “Letters to Walken” allowed them the chance to write their yearly Christmas letter to Christopher Walken.
Is this not how it’s supposed to work? Uh-oh.
Stolen from Ruth Franco at GoodTimes
Update: Yes, Virginia, Santa has a blog.
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Note current version is Grinch Jesus, not Wizard of Oz Jesus.
Different holiday entirely!
Wow, this has got to be the bestest online toy ever invented for all your morbid theist gifting needs: the dress-up virtual Christmas crucified Jesus doll; surely just the thing for the loner who’s deep into self-flagellation, wouldn’t you say? It has that whole happy Christmas vibe, with an Eastery Jesus to dress up. Why, there’s even a snarling Grinch costume! Hours of fun for the whole dysfunctional family!
In related news, this woman has a solution to the fact that her Nativity Scene Jesus keeps going missing:
“I think I’ll nail it down.”
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raincoaster 