A very Mötley Twö

Gzerod Von Staaf

Gzerod Von Staaf has this to say: Too Metal for Motley Crue: my new Willie Nelson-look-alike friend and I both deemed “unacceptable” for a “metal” show. Note our “dangerous and inappropriate” necklaces. I am done with this city.

Ladies and Gentlemen, that’s what you get for trying to be edgy in placid Victoria, BC. Gzerod Von Staaf (possibly the most metal name I’ve ever heard) is, to no-one’s surprise, the frontman of a band, Staaf Only. His commitment to the heavy metal lifestyle and look is clear from the eyeliner-and-yes-metal-heavy photos on his Facebook page. His popularity is clear from the several thousand Likes he’s collected. He was probably as excited as any fellow musician in the field to have tickets to the Mötley Crue concert in town, and regalia’d himself out appropriately, as you can see in the above instagram. We shall say nothing about instagram not being metal, for we are not a hardass.

Unlike, apparently, the security guard at Save On Foods Memorial Centre (“Memorial?” is it bankrupt or something?). Here is what happened, from a couple of posts on the Motley Crue Facebook page”

Renee LaFortune said, “The rent-a-cops security at Save-on-foods arena in Victoria, BC, would not admit Gzerod Von Staaf to the concert tonight. Not cool.” and garnished it with footage of a truly impressive guitar solo, for bonus cred.

Then on my friend Jodie’s wall, she elaborated on what had happened.

  • It wasn’t the band, nor the arena (or so they tell me), it was a contracted security firm, hired by the arena.
  • Renee LaFortune The ticket money was NOT refunded. Complaints have been filed all over the place.
  • Renee LaFortune note: the above photo was taken outside the arena. The two people (Gzerod and the Willie Nelson look-alike) were denied admittance.

Stephanie Landucci, Von Staaf‘s girlfriend was also apparently denied admittance to the show for dress-code-related reasons, which left her plenty of time to post about it on Facebook and challenge the Crue directly.

Tonight, my boyfriend and I were denied admittance to the Victoria, B.C. concert, based on the fact that he was wearing several chain necklaces. Moments before this occurred, a group of Ed Hardy clad, gold chain sporting coke heads were ushered in with no problem at all.

My boyfriend is a conscientious, law-abiding non-drinker, as well as amazing musician and great admirer of the Crue, yet these partially-literate fucktards, who are the most likely to cause harm, undue violence, drink and drive, and ultimately date rape some girl they meet at the show, are welcomed and encouraged to get drunk. Where is the justice, Crue?

Indeed. If it can’t keep Ed Hardy-wearing douchenozzles out of your show, what the hell kind of dress code is that? Related: I was not there, so I don’t know, but by any chance were the band sporting metal?

Best comment of the night goes to Greg Bulmash: “Motley Crue’s idea of “metal” these days is the iron supplements their nurses give them with their morning porridge.”

How to Facebook

How to properly scream

How to properly scream

As I remarked on Facebook earlier today, I really find it impossible to understand the kind of person who goes to Facebook, looks around, and decides “What this place needs is some more photos of executions.” As if it weren’t unpleasant enough, what with all the Its Complicateds and photographs of sub-par risottos and animals with adorable birth defects.

But yeah, if that’s what you really want on your Facebook wall I guess you can put it there. You gotta be you, right? Amirite?

Social Flow: How to Win with Social Media without Losing Productivity (a new raincoaster media workshop

Social Flow Workshop logo

Social Flow Workshop logo

Social Flow Workshop: How to Win with Social Media Without Losing Productivity

UPDATE: Unfortunately, Mike isn’t well and we’re going to have to postpone our February 4 workshop in Vancouver. We’re going ahead with our February 21st workshop in Victoria, so we hope to see you there. Vancouver workshop will be rescheduled to March.


Who: Noted social media trainer Lorraine Murphy and “productivityist” Mike Vardy (editor Lifehack.org)

What: Social Flow: How to Win with Social Media without Losing Productivity

When: 10-4, February 04/2012

Where: ING Web Cafe, 466 Howe Street, Vancouver BC

How: Register here for the Social Flow workshop

It’s a social media struggle!

Wrestling with the idea that you can’t possibly become better at promoting yourself or your business through social media without it harming your productivity?

Well, wrestle no more.

Taking part in Social Flow: How to Win with Social Media without Losing Productivity is your ticket to championship gold in record time!

Social media trainer Lorraine Murphy and “productivityist” Mike Vardy (editor Lifehack.org) will guide you through the ins and outs of managing the social media profiles that keep you both active in your work and telling the public about your work all in one go.

Topics covered include:

  • How to Make Gmail Your Best Friend
  • What Task Manager is Right For You
  • Why Your Email Inbox is Not the Right Task Manager for anyone
  • Improving your Social Flow in Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and the new kid on the block, Google+
  • Why Planning your Social Media output is Integral to Your Social Flow
  • How to Avoid Falling Prey to the Perpetual Automation Machine
  • What Calendars are actually For
  • How to Increase Your Social Flow Using Hashtags, Twitter Lists…and more

This hands-on boot camp will not only get you on top of your social media profiles, but it will get you on top of what you need to do make sure they add attention to your business rather than subtract your attention from your business.

Register to attend an upcoming Social Flow workshop

Mike Vardy

Mike Vardy

Mike Vardy is the writer, speaker, and “productivityist” behind Vardy.me and the productivity parody site Eventualism. Vardy’s candid satire has made him a desirable speaker on an often dry topic, delivering talks on the topic such as “Hacking Lifehacks” at TEDx Juan De Fuca. Currently a Managing Editor at Stepcase Lifehack, Vardy has contributed to many popular productivity websites and publications, including David Allen’s GTD Times and Productive Magazine. He lives with his wife, daughter and son in Victoria, BC, Canada.

New Year’s Resolution for 2012

The Most Perfect Facebook Status Update of All Time

The Most Perfect Facebook Status Update of All Time


If you do that, I shall do this.

Kate Middleton throws shade upon you inexpert Facebook users

Kate Middleton throws shade upon you inexpert Facebook users

announcing: 2bad4FB, a blog for all those status updates that should never be posted to Facebook. Anonymity guaranteed, so put it in the Submit box. As soon as I get that enabled, that is.

what did you do today, raincoaster?

i hate facebook

What did I do today? You mean besides become enraged by Facebook? I spent the better part of an hour first trying to get it to accept an ad without churning, churning, churning, churning, finally had the brilliant idea to disable Adblocker, which was successful at getting it to finish churning, whereupon I moved on to the second step where I put in all the details about who I wanted the ad to be shown to (don’t worry, it wasn’t you; you’re smart enough to use Adblocker, like me, right?) and how much I wanted to pay and goddamn if it didn’t really, REALLY want me to pay in British Pounds and use Dawson, Yukon time.

I think Facebook must be secretly controlled by Richard Branson from an underground lair he has in Dawson, Yukon.

So! So I get through that part, I get through even the pricing part. There’s a part where you can set limits on how much you want to spend in a given day, and a place where you can say how many days you want the ad to run. Now, I figure you multiply the how much by the number and you get the total maximum cost for the campaign, right? Oh no, how could that be right? We’re talking about Facebook!

So you can pay via Visa, Mastercard, or Paypal. Yay, I have Paypal. So I click Pay By Paypal.

And it asks me for a credit card.Going round and round and round and round: the Facebook customer service experience

Sure, you can pay by Paypal. But not if you have to. It’s rather like the retail banking system, where anybody can get a loan as long as they can prove they don’t need it. What’s particularly annoying is, thanks to a couple of good months I actually have enough in my Paypal to pay for the whole campaign, even if it cost the maximum every damn day. I could pay for it right now, and they could just refund me the money it didn’t end up costing me. But will they? Nooooooo…

Anyway, Facebook sucks, which I’m sure is not news to you savvy readers.

What else did I do today? I’ve been astonishingly productive, and it’s obviously not ME, but some alchemical magic reaction between the Diet Coke and pasta salad left over from my birthday party along with the Evening Primrose that I’ve been trying to remember to take.

I did this:


I also listed Blogging for Writers online workshop on (yes) the dreaded Facebook, so if you know any English-language based people who are interested in learning how to blog and use social media while improving their writing skills, pass the link along to them.

Made some aesthetic decisions about my new site at Making My Life which is a network of various social media platforms including audio, video, and blogging. I’ll be moving raincoastermedia over there and focusing more on my social media teaching and less on all the hyperlocal blogging that I’ve been doing such a bad job of.

Had to put out several fires, only one of which was mine. If anyone finds their life boring and staid, I have quite a collection of second and third-hand social media drama that you can take off my hands for free any time. Also, apparently an email went out saying my course on Social Media for Nonprofits was going to be fantastic (great, so far so terrific!) but alas, it also went on to say that there were several free places available. Guess what? Nobody wants to pay. The free spaces in my courses aren’t supposed to be for agencies on the Downtown Eastside, they’re for clients of the agencies: you know, poor people. I think I negotiated a compromise everybody can live with, but god help me, I didn’t get into this to give stuff away to the middle class. Also, BOB is charging me full price for the room anyway, so one free seat just evaporated so we can give the money to Shirley. All of which prompted the post outlining the social media scholarship policy. There, it’s in black and white!

Posted everything relevant from raincoaster media to the SMCYVR Facebook page and to the raincoaster media page itself. Sigh. At least THAT worked okay.

Deleted all the outdated emails from the Shebeen Club mailing list. Attempted to buy a Facebook ad for the Shebeen Club meeting but, crunching, crunching, crunching…gave up.

Promised this woman who messaged me on FB (it’s FB day, I swear; the CanadianPolice on Twitter just pinged me to complain how crazy things are lately, so it’s not just me or Vancouver, it’s everywhere) I’d read her MJ post (she was polite YAY and said she’d read mine, so reading hers was the least I could do, and she’s right about that) but OMG it’s a big one and I’m not sure I’ll get it all done today.

Bitched on Facebook about not being able to buy an ad on Facebook and promptly got two emails offering help. Problem appears to be solved, but I’m too sleepy to finish the job tonight and besides, the bank’s not open yet, it’s not even 7am.

Oh yes, sent three pitch letters to editors today. Sure, it’s spec work and probably free, but it’s ink and paper AND it’s tremendous profile-building. It’s nice to be able to put “President of SMCYVR” on an email. Which reminds me to put it in my signature too.

Tuned up the professional profile on raincoastermedia: what do you think?

What did I not get done? A podcast. Sometime between now and 7pm I’ve got to record and upload a podcast. It was an assignment I gave everyone last week in the Blogging for Writers online course, and the least I can do is try it myself! Wish me luck!

Will in all likelihood go for a walk/jog now, provided I can find my Zune, which is the only portable timekeeping device I have that still has a working battery.

Then: I will have a Martini and collapse. Yes, gin is not in the diet. But it’s very good for collapsing with. With which to collapse. Whatever.

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