headline o’ the day: Mortician risks life to save corpses

Full version:

Mortician risks life to save corpses from burning funeral home.
Here’s to you, Mr. I Take My Job Too Seriously Guy

Seriously.

I suppose it coulda been worse: it could have been a crematorium! via Fark, of course. Who else would come up with a headline like that, eh?

INDIANAPOLIS — Saying they wanted to spare families even more pain, two Indianapolis morticians went back inside their burning funeral home to try to save bodies.

The pair rolled out caskets containing bodies as firefighters aimed their hoses at flames at the rear of the funeral home. They managed to retrieve three bodies before the flames became too intense for them to go inside.

After the fired died down they returned for the seven remaining bodies. None was damaged.

Yeah, but were there any survivors?

Newfie tragedy, I think...

when giant octopus attack Goonies!

Stole this from Cracked‘s piece on Most Absurd Deleted Scenes of All Time. Definitely worth it for the Steve Carrell, not to mention Jay (of “and Silent Bob“) scarifying a couple of hookers into giving up the profession. via Defamer.

Movie: The Goonies
Director: Richard Donner
Why this scene was deleted: Because having a giant killer octopus appear in the final act of a movie that, up to that point, had at least pretended to exist in the real world, makes absolutely no fucking sense. If Donner had ended his next film, Lethal Weapon, by having Pterodactyl fly out of the sky and attack Riggs and Murtaugh, it wouldn’t have been any less nonsensical. [raincoaster knows, as the editors of Cracked apparently do not, that Octopi of this size do, in fact, exist]

Also, by cutting the infamous octopus scene and leaving in Data’s line later in the movie that confusingly refers to it (“The octopus was very scary!”), Donner was able to push his apparent belief that Asians are prone to exaggeration and not to be trusted, an agenda he was able to further explore in Lethal Weapon 4, quite possibly the most racist movie ever made.

Why this scene was ever shot: Probably because some old college buddy of Donner’s was on the payroll as “Unit Manager, Octopus Effects,” and kept nagging the director and bringing up “all those times I bailed your ass out in the Quad” until Donner finally sighed and said, “Alright, fuck it. Let’s shoot the ‘pus.”

television (star) wars 2.0

So the other day I wander into the living room.Wow, CSI: Miami must be on!

Dan is lying on the sofa, watching CSI: Miami.

I wander downstairs.

My sister is lying on the sofa, watching CSI: Miami.

I do not understand these people.

Oedipus (with vegetables)

thanks to Master Cowfish for this.

 

http://www.oedipusthemovie.com/ – The story of OEDIPUS in 8 minutes performed by vegetables in the tradition of BEN-HUR. Featuring a Potato, a Tomato, Broccoli, Garlic, and Billy Dee Williams as the Bartender. Official Selection 60+ film festivals including Sundance…

And oh yeah, we’re tasteless ’round these parts, so it gets the “Family” tag. Let it not be said that I have failed to transcend the concept of human dignity.

Representative Mark (Pederast) Foley’s IM transcripts

Yeah, definitely NSFW. And NSFLunch, either, unless it’s your intention to become bulimic. Here’s the IM exchange between Foley and a 16 year-old male page, which is racier than the emails. From ABC News, via Fark. We’re farking heavily today, for whatever reason.

A snippet:

Maf54 (7:46:33 PM): did any girl give you a haand job this weekend

Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:38 PM): lol no

Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:40 PM): im single right now

Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:57 PM): my last gf and i broke up a few weeks agi

Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): are you

Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): good so your getting horny

Xxxxxxxxx (7:47:29 PM): lol…a bit

Maf54 (7:48:00 PM): did you spank it this weekend yourself

Yeah, that’s enough for my tummy. How about you?