God hates fags

Donnie Davies, straightening teh gheys like an orthodontist for your eros!Donnie Davies says so, and sang so, so, so very eloquently that it brought tears to the eyes of many a listener for many a happy hour until tragedy struck.

YouTube hates Donnie Davies.

It’s true.

Well friends, YouTube took down the video that Evening Service and I have worked so hard on. I don’t know what hurts more; being censored because of my message or people making fun of my weight. Hopefully MySpace believes in freedom of expression more than Google does. Maybe China isn’t the only country Google is censoring. ;-)

Spread the Word
Keep the Faith

Donnie D.

ps. If any of ya’ll post the video anywhere else please tell us!

(Oh, you mean like here?)

Donnie Davies, PastorDavies on AIM if you’re looking to chat (paging Mark Foley!), heads up Love God’s Way, an organization of passionately engaged Christians with a mission to help the bent go straight. They have helpful lists of Gay Bands (Eminem! Who knew???Oh, my mistake: he’s talking about Em in men!) and Safe Bands (Cyndi Lauper: again, who knew???) Here is a pullquote from their program page, CHOPS.

“Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons. We can only record its moods, and chronicle their return. With us time itself does not progress. It revolves. It seems to circle round one centre of pain.”
–Oscar Wilde (reformed homosexual)

So What is This About?

C.H.O.P.S is the powerful new program developed by Christian Youth expert Donnie Davies. C.H.O.P.S stands for CHANGING HOMOSEXUALS into ORDINARY PEOPLE…

You are not alone and guess what, God Loves You even if he hates your Homosexuality. You just can’t stay that way. Let me help you love yourself. Follow me and together we’ll C.H.O.P.S away the Gay.

And, from Davies’ own personal website:

Oscar Wilde, my hero, was a reformed homosexual. He went to prison for his sins. Once he was alone with his thouhgts, in jail, he saw the errors of his ways and repented. He died as a Christian. While I’m not advocating jailing all Homosexuals, I do think it would benefit them greatly. It would be for their own good. When a person is forced to think they will generally be able to see their problems and solve them by themselves.

Davies‘ band, the aptly-titled “Evening Service” recorded their touching tune “The Bible Says” only today, but after only a brief flowering of press attention YouTube pulled the plug. Right now, it’s up on Evening Service‘s page here (for now). Anybody got a good capture program?

For an update on Donnie and his crusade, click here.

Let’s go to the lyrics, which I have in full over the jump:

Read the bible and you’ll be sure
To enter heaven. There’s no back door.
Oh righteous man, go down on your knees,
there lies no virtue in sodomy…
God hates a fag. God hates a fag.
God hates a fag.

If you’re a fag, He hates you too.

Well, I think it’s Cristal clear that, among a certain crowd, those lyrics would be packing quite a punch. Indeed, the viral spread of this video (#78 on YouTube today) recorded by a raggedy-assed crew at Studio #54 shows that it had really touched the global village, people, and in a very special way.

We shall give the good Reverend the last word; here is his introductory video, still miraculously untouched on YouTube. But it’s only a matter of time before it’s chaste offline.

Lyrics to the now-infamous The Bible Says over the jump!
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Mad V: the message

Remember the Challenge? Here is the Message.

From the comments section:

I must admit. I’ve seen alot of pathetic movements come and go like flies on youtube, but this one, in some odd way, has wrapped me around it’s finger. Sitting here watching this video make it easy to agree with the message, but when you get up out of your chair, and walk outside, that’s when it really counts. This message is something to carry with you to the end of your days and possibly even then some.

Very well done, V. Very well done.

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the facts of life

You called?  

and the fact is, in a perfect world the facts of life are revealed to your delicately budding sensibilities in the presence of none other than America’s Sweetheart and Sexiest Man Alive, George Clooney

I, apparently, grew up in a perfect world. And so did you. Who knew?

what is he doing with that hand? Can he come over and do it here?

The simple fact of life for George Clooney, however, is that the poor man will never, as long as he lives and no matter what he achieves, including Oscars, Sexiest Man Alive Hall of Fame status, earning a coveted internship on the good ship Fugger, even achieving the Presidency, bringing about world peace and/or saving the planet from paparazzi/mutants/asteroids/misunderstood minorities gone bad, he will never live down this haircut.

Work that mullet, boy!

You take the gel,
You take the bangs,
You take them both and there you have the ‘do Clooney.
The view ew-ee!
That's quite the Flock of Seagulls quiff, dear

There’s a time you gotta go afro
You’re growin’ out,
You know about the blowdryer.
Oh no, feathers!

When the look never seems,
To be working without the Brylcreem.
And suddenly you’re finding out,
The Caesar look will help you out.
The greying works too.
Hot Dippity-do!
A goatee pour vous?

It takes Christophe to get it right,
But you’re learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of li-fe.

Tootie, as usual, gets the best lines.

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quiz: which Lord of the Rings/Alice in Wonderland character are you?

Yeah, I’m reaching a bit with this one. It’s not tremendously recherche, and the chances are that every fanboy and Figwit-lover has already posted it on their Livejournal, but still, there is a compelling reason for posting this.

It makes me look totally cool.

You scored as Frodo Baggins.

Frodo Baggins
90%
Gimli
90%
Eowyn of Rohan
87%
Peregrin Took (Pippin)
80%
Gandalf the Grey
73%
Meriadoc Brandybuck (Merry)
73%
Aragorn
73%
Saruman the White
70%
Legolas
67%
Galadriel
57%
Arwen of Rivendell
53%
Gollum
53%
Samwise Gamgee
47%
Boromir
33%

Which Lord of the Rings character are you most like?
created with QuizFarm.com

Whereas this does not:

You scored as Tweedle Dee & Dum. Yes, you’re both – because they’re exactly the same. You’re quite dumb, and blatantly oblivious to most things going on around you. You love to tell stories and screw around. You’re loveable, but sometimes extremely annoying.

Tweedle Dee & Dum
81%
Alice
75%
The Mad Hatter
69%
White Rabbit
56%
Cheshire Cat
56%
Queen of Hearts
50%
Caterpillar
50%

Which Alice in Wonderland Character are YOU?
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Cthulhu versus the World: a YouTube Masterpiece

In which the Great Cthulhu discovers the joys of pure evil,
and puts paid to a panda over pounding punk. 

“Wha? Batman? This doesn’t even make sense!

Like that’s bad.