Escape from Vancouver Unicorn Chaser links

Vancouver Riots in Lego by Kimli

Vancouver Riots in Lego by Kimli

I guess you could say that’s looking on the bright side. Turning riots into art is a very 21st Century response.

Speaking of art, here is Lani Russworm’s amazing shot of the smoke rising from Downtown. It gives you some perspective on what this riot is doing to our city, and what kind of  city it is.

Vancouver tonight. And how was YOUR evening?

Vancouver tonight. And how was YOUR evening?

I dunno if you’ve been following sports tonight, but I can’t say as it brings me much joy to be in Vangroover tonight: neither because of the loss nor because of the dumbass riots. Yes, we have Ed Hardy-wearing douchebags here, too.

Vancouver Fuck Calm

Vancouver Fuck Calm

So, if you could use a Unicorn Chaser too, here are a lovely roundup of brain-soothing landscapes. Let your imagination pick one and drift away, possibly with the aid of a stiff cocktail or eight.

Manége de l'Hotel de Ville, Paris 1er, France

Manége de l'Hotel de Ville, Paris 1er, France by Gaston Bastini

Sure, t could be considered childish, and you’re just going round in circles, but the view is fabulous and the company charming and decorative.

Or if you’d like to opt out of adulthood altogether, there’s always this perennial favorite:

I only want a one way ticket

I only want a one way ticket

A one-way ticket will be just fine, thank you.

Treehouse of the Elder Gods

Treehouse of the Elder Gods

I think this is where Julian Assange and I will live once he’s paroled. If these cedars are rockin’, don’t come knockin’.

And finally, I’ll let you in on my retirement plans. Screw Florida!

Goodbye, Cruel World! Hello New, Improved World!

Goodbye, Cruel World! Hello New, Improved World!

It’s true: I’d dump Assange in a Cair Paravel minute if Caspian would give me the time of day.

Sigh. There, feel better? Good. Now let’s read some trivia celebrity gossip links and forget all about those nasty, nasty uni-ball-having, hockey-not-playing rioting protoplasms.

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How is babby made?

How is babby made?

How is babby made?

No, it’s a FACT. Now that you truly understand the reason for war, it’s time to put the nail in the coffin of your optimism with today’s roundup of pointless celebrity gossip.

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Ratinox revealed!

Julian Assange plays strip scrabble with raincoaster. We ALL win!

Julian Assange plays strip scrabble with raincoaster. We ALL win!

Wouldn’t you like to see the secret stash of deliciousness from The Artist Formerly Known as HarryHarrison (at least to users of nerdlink filing-cabinet sites and OK Cupid; think of delicious as Tumblr but for nerds, not hipsters)?

Yes, of COURSE you would, you sick perv, you.

Behold, the collected bookmarks of Julian Assange:

And so on. At least he lost interest and got busy with Wikileaks before adding the obligatory “I’m in my late 30’s and still want to pull hipster chicks” nod to Arcade Fire.

Still, Arcade Fire DID do this:

for which the fact they are an ageing hipster’s favorite band is forgiven, because this particular iteration of this particular song is the great protest anthem of our time. We’re not as raw as The Clash, but our riots aren’t just Quiet: they’re silent, but for the clicking of keys on an iMac. Vaguely apologetic but inexorable, conscious of the past and very much aware of this moment in history, twee, precious, metrosexual but somehow effective nonetheless; yup, this is us, right here, right now. But where was I?

Oh yes, perving on Julian Assange, checking out four year old bookmarks, and introducing our celebrity gossip links for today.

Links: You just can’t get enough, you insatiable pervs!

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Dandruff of Destiny!

Birds are pretty. Even bird dandruff is pretty.

Birds are pretty. Even bird dandruff is pretty.

Let this be a lesson to you, the next time you think your footprint in time is banal and squalid. This is the print made by a bird who flew into a window; he left behind his image in dandruff. So the next time you’re feeling like your life is dull and meaningless, remember this dandruff print and let fly, Andrew WK style!

Andrew WK gets his freak on with Conan

Andrew WK gets his freak on with Conan

There, don’t you feel all One With The Cosmos again? If that doesn’t do it, skip over to our old blog buddy LettersHomeToYou and read the Desiderata for Bloggers.

Stumble aimlessly amid the trolls and waste, but remember what peace there be in staring at your toes for a couple of weeks. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all readers. Publish your posts quietly and clearly, and listen to podcasts, even the dull and garbled, for they too have a right to hog bandwidth. Avoid loud and aggressive bloggers. They are pains in the ass.

Vox, dude!

Except for the part about the podcasters. I’m not so sure about those guys; after all, when regular radio is as bad as it is right at this moment, who needs to listen to a bunch of amateurs for poorly-formed opinions, delivered in garbled and techo-tarded fashion? Also: bandwidth is cheap now!

Ah, sic transit gloria monday. I always wondered what happened to gloria tuesday. Guess she drove instead of taking the bus. And how were they both related to TGI Friday?

Where was I? Oh yes, posterity. Click over the jump to see what the rich and famous did today that’s going down in history. Or, in the case of political mistresses, going down on history. And I totally stole that joke from a 30-year-old Vanity Fair magazine.

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Batman’s Blind Date Unicorn Chaser

Batman's Buggysnake was HUGE!

Batman's Buggysnake was HUGE!

What’s that they say about not frightening the horses? Now that we’ve set the mood, here is a lovely little video of Batman’s sexiest costars, including everyone from Eartha Kitt to Tallulah Bankhead. Okay, they’re really one soul in two bodies. How about everyone from Zsa Zsa Gabor to Jill St. John…oh, okay, same deelio. Lemme try again.

Well fuckit, just skip ahead to 1:29 to witness Batman having a Brady Fetish Moment.

MARCIA!!!

Doesn’t that just turn your crank?

Batman gets his bat trunks in a twist

Batman gets his bat trunks in a twist

As if that weren’t enough, check out this Euro-fabulous (or is that Brazilian-fabulous) Bat Dance, 100% Prince-free!

and the sequel

But wait: there’s more! Yes, it’s Hump Day, and that means gossip links! And since this roundup took me two and a half hours, you’d better believe you’re only getting one post per blog today! Click over the jump for the extra-elaborate and extra-profane celebrity gossip for the day.

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