What would the lolcats say?
Useful for small, vicious children as well. A great gift item, and reasonably priced, too! I, personally, prefer to drug them and then throw them in an old burlap sack full of rusty nails I’ve fished up from the bottom of an old cistern, but I understand that this rather rough and ready solution might not be entirely Martha-approved. This looks quite safe, though:
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This is even funnier and more tasteless than the original.
(which has almost 700,000 views in one day!)
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Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars,
the best way would be to start his own religion”
L.Ron Hubbard
I’ve been feeling a little like reporter John Sweeney myself lately, and only today did something like this to a neighbor of mine, someone whose blithe inhumanity needed a good smackdown. Maybe the BBC should hire me, as I definitely scored more hits than this poor, hapless Brit.
To be fair, he’d just sat through a video designed to destabilize people; to be fair to the Scientologist production crew, it’s obviously quite effective. But before they had a chance to move on to the “love bombing” phase of the experiment, the subject returned to the clutches of his profession and started asking questions.
Here is the full, just-under-a-minute rant when he snaps and goes apeshit on Tommy Davis, the blocker droid that L.Ron‘s minions sent to deal with him. Listen to the bot as he flawlessly repeats the same line for the entire duration of the verbal assault; it’s like the dilithium crystals got scratched and they’re skipping. THAT, my friends, is the truly scary part.
The rant is parenthesized by background reports from the BBC that explain, among other things, that prior to his outburst the reporter had been stalked for several days by Scientology operatives, and had just endured a 19-minute video designed to show that the Holocaust was the fault of psychiatry; this video included helpful scenes such as children getting needles in their eyes and other such light fare to set the tone.
One thing I’ll say for them; the Scientologists, for all that they’re psychiatry naysayers, understand psychology very, very well indeed.
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Remember Evil Bert? Makin’ wit da sex tapes with Pam Anderson, posing for buddy photos with Osama bin Laden? Sure you do.
Now Evil Bert‘s gone even eviller! It’s a Jerry Bruckheimer film in the making, I tell you: He’s a loose cannon in Kandahar! Hell-bent in Helmand! Ballistic in Baghdad!
Evil Bert is AWOL!
That’s what you get when Recruitment is scraping the bottom of the barrel.
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Here’s the real secret, folks:
Sometimes New Agers can be real assholes, and the worst thing is, they float through life, wittering happily about scheduling their acupuncture according to the phases of the Jupiter’s moons, oblivious to the damage they cause, high on vast, expensive pharmacopaeas of anti-depressants and “herbs” and the fumes of rare jasmine and patchouli. And if you address their asshollery, they tell you you’re “attracting negativity by being negative” but it never once occurs to them that they, themselves, could be that negativity. I’m recycling this from the comments over at Aaron Swartz’s blog, because it deserves a wider audience, I think.
I had cancer once, a long time ago, and a friend of mine who’d come over for a “cheer me up” visit looked me in the eyes and asked, “What have you done to bring this into your life?”
I paused a moment and said, “Do you mean what have I done to bring into my life people who could ask such a question of a cancer patient?”
Yeah, I don’t see her so much anymore.
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raincoaster 