Category Archives: Hoaxes

The Truth About Hillary Clinton!

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Hillary Clinton cannot be captured in photographs!

Hillary Clinton cannot be captured in photographs!

Oh, the lamestream media has gotten their greedy, cover-uppy little claws on this shocking photoevidence and their appallingly tepid attempts to spin are fully steaming ahead. According to the Daily What (part of the shady icanhascheezburger network, and are we really sure Rupert Murdoch doesn’t have his fingers in that pie? Hmmmmm?) this series of pictures shows that cultist Israelites made Hillary Clinton vanish from a photo she was in.

Au contraire, mister cheezburger, au contraire.

What it actually proves is that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (aka Hillary Rodham, aka Hillary Rodham Clinton) cannot, outside of the carefully controlled environs of the White House PR Department, be photographed. Obviously, the top photo is the original which was mistakenly sent out on the wires, and the below, now-iconic image, is the official White House version, sent out only after artful photoshopping to make the S of S visible on film, which she normally is not.

As for conclusions, there can be only one, and it can come as no surprise to anyone who’s followed this woman’s career over the past two decades.

Hillary Clinton is of the Undead.

They took images of Ye Xiangting with other people. They were stunned when the other people showed up in the computer images, but not Ye. Ye Xiangting seemed to have “disappeared” from the photos. In the end, the staff had to give up.
——————————————————————————————
…Maybe he’s a vampire? vampire

Posted by Jackie  on  Fri Jan 13, 2006  at  01:56 PM

No, Jackie, I don’t think he is.Since he is Chinese, if he was a vampire, he would bounce up and down or across the countryside like a kangaroo. There’s no mention of that in the article.

Logical.

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Happy May Day!

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We the People. Hey, who you calling WE, white man?

We the People. Hey, who you calling WE, white man?

Happy May Day, workers of the world! Enjoy your paid day off, no doubt spent among your fellow labourers, reveling in your special day. Did the head of the local Chamber of Commerce bring you breakfast in bed, or is that just here in Canuckistan? Did you remember to swing by the town square for the big Kick A Newly Homeless Wall Streeter party and bbq? And pick up your share of TARP dollars (application form here)? Remember, today only that cardboard box or ’78 Dodge van you’ve been living in may be redeemed for a 1 bedroom plus den Yaletown condo.  Also today only, Urban Fare accepts those food cheques that The Ministry issues, as do C, the chocolate buffet at the Sutton Place Hotel, and Tojo’s sushi.

Fucking Capitalism: how does it work? Here’s a handy-dandy diagram that clears it all up.

Capitalism layer cake

Capitalism layer cake

The Greatest Musical Performance of All Time and Space, in Any Universe, Anywhere

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I think I have that outfit at home, actually

I think I have that outfit at home, actually

Pretty much. Oh, you have your Rebecca Blacks. You have your Posh Spices. But you could have a whole Spice Rack of untalented songbirds, put them all together, and they still wouldn’t sound anywhere near as bad as this:

That is the immortal Jonathan Edwards on piano, accompanying his showstopper of a vocalizing wife, Darlene, performing the Bee Gee’s greatest tune, Stayin’ Alive. That’s “vocalizing” like Siamese cats vocalize when you slam their tales in car doors. And you have Bunk Strutts to thank for the fact that I have a new favorite musical act.

 

Jonathan and Darlene Edwards, explained. Sorta
Jonathan and Darlene Edwards, explained. Sorta

Jonathan and Darlene Edwards will always work. Some people have no tolerance for failed art. It just gives them goosebumps. The enlightened mind, however, has boundless appreciation for an artist putting him/herself out there and failing spectacularly. Even though the Edwardses (real names: were Jo Stafford and Paul Weston) were perfectly functional pro musicians (he pianoed while she sang), they are remembered now for acting clueless. The tragedy of artistic failure is deeply funny to me – even when faked – and it takes an artist of great courage to pretend they are completely inept. Apart from music like this, such failure can be found in Mystery Science Theater and various portfolio submissions from job applicants, but for differing reasons.

Jonathan and Darlene were truly underappreciated in their own time, despite a grammy win in 1960, but enjoyed a late renaissance in the Seventies with the release of this epic effort, along with the very of-its-time “I Am Woman.”

The history of Puppy Mills

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It's a dog's life.

It's a dog's life.

The Rules of the Universe dictate that for every kitteh post we post a puppeh post. Oh, and if reading the harsh truths about the conversion of excess pettitude into electricity so you can watch Two and a Half Men in comfort shocks you, there’s also this:

Om nom nom Pom

Om nom nom Pom

You’re all invited!

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Cthulhu Cake

Cthulhu Cake

It is a fact universally acknowledged that when Julian Assange marries me, this will be our wedding cake. Cry all you want, jealous losers, it WILL happen. TEH CAKE IS NOT A LIE!

Iz NOT!

Iz NOT!

Sulk all you want: he stll isn’t going to go out with you.

Our guest list will be exclusive, and we’re really proud to say that we’ve just got an RSVP from a very important celebrity. Not to drop a name, but, well, if you’ve been around you’ll have heard of him. TENTAQUIL!

I, on the other hand, wish I was a Fakemon

I, on the other hand, wish I was a Fakemon

Y’all had better start working on your outfits ASAP: this is one wedding with a STRICT dress code.

here's the image Photobucket took down

not everyone can pull off this look, particularly because of the suckers

Octopus speedo unsafe at ANY speed

Top THAT!