Category Archives: Hoaxes

moonbat conspiracist on Al Jazeera: The Nobel Prize Is Racist and Stems from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion

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Paranoia will destroy yaIf Al Jazeera‘s going to be interviewing these cryptopaths on a regular basis, I may have to get cable; this interview (from Halloween, no less) is historic in its moonbatty loop-tasticy.

Following are excerpts from an interview with Samir ‘Ubeid, an Iraqi researcher living in Europe, which aired on Al-Jazeera TV on October 31, 2006:

Samir ‘Ubeid: I don’t call it the Nobel prize – I call it the “Hubal” [idol] prize.

Interviewer: Hubal?

Samir ‘Ubeid: Yes, because it often encourages heresy. It encourages attacks against the heritage, and encourages those who scorn their people and their culture…

Interviewer: In other words, if you are a traitor to your country, you deserve this prize.

Samir ‘Ubeid: If you are a traitor to your country, and a heretic, who curses his Prophet, you deserve a Nobel Prize…

Mother Teresa was brought, along with a group of people like her…

Interviewer: Some say the prize was awarded to her for her missionary activity in Africa, India, and so on…

Samir ‘Ubeid: Let’s assume she was righteous, according to the logic of the media, which is now controlled by the Jews and Hollywood. When they awarded the prize to Teresa, they were trying to award an “artificial hymen” or “artificial honor” to this prize. My colleague said that there is democracy. What democracy is there, if out of 1.5 billion Chinese, only two or three were awarded the Nobel? If you examine the Russian scientists and writers, who shook the world with their literature and their knowledge… What about Sakharov, what about Tolstoy? In addition…

Interviewer: But Sakharov was awarded the Nobel prize.

Samir ‘Ubeid: I meant Chekhov. Chekhov! Chekhov!

Yep, some days, thinks the interviewer, it really is worth digging them out of the caves for an interview. Can’t you just picture him patiently steepling his fingers and straightening his notes as he tries hard not to burst into derisive laughter?

“For this,” he thinks, “I went to Oxford.”

Bart's not taking any chances

save the endangered tree octopus

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Cascadia Evening Post, totally straight up and honest. Sriusly.

From my earliest childhood to my brief spell as a humble Greenpeace canvasser, I have always been acutely sensitive to the plight of endangered species, and never moreso than now that I live in one of the last great rainforests of the world.

As we hurtle ever faster towards our inevitable sterile, Logan’s Run inspired future, we shed species at a rate of approximately one every 20 minutes. Please don’t let the untamed beauty that is the Pacific Tree Octopus be lost; do not let it go the way of the dodo and the snow leopard.

But together we can work to maintain the wild herds of this noble creature. Hunted nearly to extinction for its incomparable beauty, its fate need not be sealed; indeed, it is possible that, with adequate planning and habitat preservation, we could learn to coexist with this most iconic of Cascadian cephalofauna.

Save the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus has the full story.

Tree Octopus RibbonShow people that you support the cause of the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus by placing a Tentacle Ribbon or badge, along with a link to this page, on your website or weblog so that they can learn more. Together, we have the power to build a grass-roots campaign to save the Tree Octopus!

Why It’s Endangered

Although the tree octopus is not officially listed on the Endangered Species List, we feel that it should be added since its numbers are at a critically low level for its breeding needs. The reasons for this dire situation include: decimation of habitat by logging and suburban encroachment; building of roads that cut off access to the water which it needs for spawning; predation by foreign species such as house cats; and booming populations of its natural predators, including the bald eagle and sasquatch. What few that make it to the Canal are further hampered in their reproduction by the growing problem of pollution from farming and residential run-off. Unless immediate action is taken to protect this species and its habitat, the Pacific Northwest tree octopus will be but a memory.

The possibility of Pacific Northwest tree octopus extinction is not an unwarranted fear. Other tree octopus species — including the Douglas octopus and the red-ringed madrona sucker — were once abundant throughout the Cascadia region, but have since gone extinct because of threats similar to those faced by paxarbolis, as well as overharvesting by the now-illegal tree octopus trade.

The history of the tree octopus trade is a sad one. Their voracious appetite for bird plumes having exhausted all the worthy species of that family, the fashionistas moved on to cephalopodic accoutrements during the early 20th Century. Tree octopuses became prized by the fashion industry as ornamental decorations for hats, leading greedy trappers to wipe out whole populations to feed the vanity of the fashionable rich. While fortunately this practice has been outlawed, its effects still reverberate today as these millinery deprivations brought tree octopus numbers below the critical point where even minor environmental change could cause disaster.

Borat Attacked! 2.0

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 Borat, ready for action!

Okay people, you made me do this. You made me post about Borat when I have, I admit, no interest whatsoever in doing so.

You made me feel guilty.

Over 600 of you came to this site so far today looking for news of the anonymous New Yorker who beat the crap out of Borat (Sasha Baron Cohen) a couple of days ago, before Jeeves (Hugh Laurie) came to his rescue. And what did you get? A lame post about poster defacing or is that defacation?

Go HERE for the story you’re actually looking for, okay? I promise you, Gawker cares about this in ways I never could…

Britney and K-Fed and Bobby Fischer in sex tape shocker!

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Britney en route to a chess tourney, no doubt.Now, we’re informed media consumers here at the ol’ raincoaster blog. We like to think we can sniff out a planted story faster than a police dog can sniff out a suitcase full of Elmos. And the British press is to bullshit reports what Iraq is to oil imperialists; an irresistable and inexhaustable well.

But that doesn’t mean we’re not going to cover their stories. Oh no, perish the thought. Because then we’d have to do without this brazilliant piece of bullshit from, one would hazard a guess, the UK publicist of Fed-Ex (maybe the separation agreement means he gets to keep half of the publicists?). The image of a spent and sweat-sheened Britney and K-Fed taking a break from mind-boggling, 10 on the Richter Scale sex only to play a round or two of chess is just too precious and ridonkulous to pass up.

Britney, unless I’m mistaken it’s your move.

London, Nov 12: Pop singer Britney Spears’ estranged hubby Kevin Federline has reportedly threatened to go public with the couples[sic] honeymoon sex tapes if she fails to make a hefty payout to him and hand custody of their two sons.

Po po wha???Britney fears the raunchy footage will destroy her wholesome image [also sic, BIG sic, as Ed the Sock said, “I know strippers who can’t move like that!”] unless she caves in to his demands for a £16million payoff and custody of their children Sean Preston, one, and Jayden James, eight weeks…

“At the time the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They did nothing all day but have sex—and play the odd game of chess.

I’m killing myself here. Someone alert Bobby Fischer.

the way of Nigella

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Why hello there Nigella!Hello, boys!

There’s one celebrity cook the men will always tune in for, and it’s former It-Girl, now It-Woman Nigella Lawson. As famous for filling out her sweaters as she is for deep-frying Dove bars, she may be the Private Benjamin or Lisa Douglas of the kitchen, but she’s to be congratulated on bringing the sexy back to food. Martha Stewart, by comparison, is a prim Edna Mode prescribing sauteed zucchini blossoms not because they’re yummy, but because they’ll look good with the seared squab. Mario Batali is some kind of cross between Trimalchio and Mr. Creosote, swelling visibly on-camera till he threatens to burst his Crocs.

But Nigella, while she has an alarming tendency to take up with the wrong kind of fellow, does have an endearingly earthy style. In other words, she turns the men into testosterone-addled horndogs and reminds the women about all their appetites, which is a public service of a sort.

Here’s The Way of Nigella, a piece in The Morning News from a couple of years back, dropped in a comment on Gawker for which I will find the credit later (have I mentioned I’m lazy?). Nigella on raising your own shrimp, preparing soothing comfort food, and dining out at cheap Chinese counters:

I’ve found that it is hard to find good shrimp, and Nigella, the English Muffinso I’ve started farming them myself. To the inexperienced onlooker, two-phased intensive shrimp farming might seem like a daunting task. While it is hard work, I always feel rewarded. How I just love the marine smell of raw feed on my hands. From hatchery to grow-out pond, I am responsible for keeping out disease, looking after salinity conditions, and making sure that there is enough circulation in the water. When I look into my special concrete larval tanks, I am looking at thousands, if not millions, of potential shrimp-kabobs. It is the perfect blend of embracing nature – my private bountiful sea – and expectantly knowing that I’ll be feasting on lemon-buttered scampi over linguini that results ultimately in blissful domestic satisfaction.