what we have here is a failure to communicate

Evian MermaidBut a very amusing one.

Now, I like British newspapers. I particularly like British newspaper websites; sure, the design is horrifically clunky and it’s impossible to find what you want, but you often find what you actually need (hey, is that a British informatics archetype? I seem to have heard it somewhere before). Compared to the CBC, for instance, the layout of the Guardian Online is an impeccable nested article-delivery device. Why the CBC prefers to present no more than a dozen stories on one subject area at one time, no matter how many clicks you may give it, is a mystery to all but the mandarins in Ottawa and they all get the news from their servants. But that is a communications failure rant for another time.

This time, we’re talking about (aboot?) those slight idiosyncratic variations in phrasing and meaning from one continent to the next. You know, how the British sports writing is only seemingly written in English and how we in The Americas still use the word “gotten” and that sort of thing. We’re talking about the truck/lorry issue, really.

Or if we’re not, Britain must be much more lively than I’ve always heard.

We are talking about this harmless-looking article on good places for beach and snorkling holidays with good access to clubs and nightlife. Demanding people, they are. Probably expect to get Newcastle Brown there as well, but that’s beside the point.

The point is that on the front page of The Esteemed Guardian, this article is tagged with the drop-down descriptor:

Can you answer reader questions on water sports holidays?

Well, can you? I’ll start.

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St Patrick’s Day cartoon: savage chicken vs leprechaun

You don’t want to mess with a Savage Chicken!

St Patrick’s Day leprechaun vs Savage Chicken

St. Patrick’s Day Irish Jokes

St Patrick’s CatThese are the best Irish jokes you’ll hear all day, unless you go over to Smoke&Mirrors where I stole them from and read the whole whack all at once.

It should be noted (or is that “noted it should be”?) that:

I’m Irish Catholic on one side and Irish Protestant on the other, my favorite pub is the impeccably authentic Irish Heather, I host a literary gathering that meets at the Shebeen, the women of my immediate family are somewhat, and quite inconveniently from time to time, renowned for the Second Sight, my uncle goes over to Ireland on vacations to teach them how to play the fiddle, my grandfather was an infamous warlock, and there’s a Bend Sinister in the gene pool somewhere for bonus points.

So I have total Celt cred.

1586 words of the most amusing Irish jokes around over the jump. But not the leprechaun nun one. Gross!

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I got a Valentine!

I know, that title is a thrill a minute, isn’t it? But still, I’m very excited.

This is the first Valentine I’ve gotten from someone who isn’t a married man this century!

raincoaster's valentine from sulz

sulz over at Bloggerdygook made me my very own, hand-written Valentine, accessorized with a lovely bulldozer! And one notes, one does, that in the first draft, she’d neglected a prime blog-pimping opportunity. No doubt inspired by my example, this oversight was immediately corrected and replaced with the above, blog-pimpatory, improvement.

This is part of the massive Hand-Written Valentine project, whose object frankly puzzles us, for lo, we are far too lazy to do anything of the kind if there’s no free Macbook Air, Urban Fare credit card, or black opal bracelet at the end of it.

I want to send you a handwritten, personalised message! I shall write you a special message on a piece of paper (or not? Hehe), take a photo of it, then upload it to one of my posts during the month of February 2008.

Why would you want a handwritten valentine from me?

1. You can have a look at my handwriting. I think handwriting is something very personal, especially in this age of technology! And my handwriting is not consistent, never the same twice!
2. You can receive a personalised message from me. Just for you. Nobody else. How special is that!
3. It will totally make your day. It has to, otherwise I’d be very upset. (

If you want to put the poor girl to work again, toiling into the wee hours, feverishly pumping out personalized calligraphic meisterwerk after personalized calligraphic meisterwerk, it’s your conscience, not mine. Pop over to Bloggerdygook and leave her a request in the comments section.

I got mine. Now you get yours.

hot links, hot links. what can I say? I never learn

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New Year’s Day

Happy New Year, all. But U2 says it much better than me, so listen to them. Recorded live in Chicago, 2005.

New Year’s Day

All is quiet on New Year’s Day.
A world in white gets underway.
I want to be with you, be with you night and day.
Nothing changes on New Year’s Day.
On New Year’s Day.

I… will be with you again.
I… will be with you again.

Under a blood-red sky
A crowd has gathered in black and white
Arms entwined, the chosen few
The newspaper says, says
Say it’s true, it’s true…
And we can break through
Though torn in two
We can be one.

I… I will begin again
I… I will begin again.

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, maybe the time is right.
Oh, maybe tonight.
I will be with you again.
I will be with you again.

And so we are told this is the golden age
And gold is the reason for the wars we wage
Though I want to be with you
Be with you night and day
Nothing changes
On New Year’s Day
On New Year’s Day
On New Year’s Day