Tea Parties of the Damned!

Sharky Tea Infuser

Here is another in the growing collection of designer housewares from the House of Nyarlathotep. Sure to be popular with all the Australians on your list, this dandy little item is most compelling when dispersing fragrant, uncaffeinated, nutritious hibiscus tea.

Note the beautiful and oh-so-fitting colour trails.

We’ve obtained an exclusive interview with Tea Master Qin-T, of the House of Nyarlathotep, and here’s what he has to say about his innovative and stylish creation:

Y’all know me. Know how I earn a livin’. I’ll brew this cuppa for you, but it ain’t gonna be easy. Bad tea. The Agony of the Leaves. Not like going down the parlour brewin’ Earl Grey and Orange Pekoe. This tea, you swallow whole. Little shakin’, little slurpin’, an’ down it go. And we gotta do it quick, that’ll bring back your Vitamin C levels, put all your electrolytes on a metabolically balanced basis. But it’s not gonna be pleasant. I value my alkalinity a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I’ll brew it for three, but I’ll add lemon, and I’ll add honey, for ten. But you’ve gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay healthy, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on Nestea the whole winter. I don’t want no volunteers, I don’t want no mates, there’s just too many confirmed bachelors on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the buds, the leaves, the whole damn thing.

Being and Somethingness

Three Witches by Fuseliand I quote:

No weird revelation is involved when someone sees a dime on the sidewalk, picks up the coin, and pockets it. Even if this is not an everyday occurrence for a given individual, it remains without any overtones or implications of the fateful, the extraordinary. But suppose this coin has some unusual feature that, upon investigation, makes it a token of considerable wealth. Suddenly a great change, or at least the potential for change, enters into someone’s life; suddenly the expected course of things threatens to veer off toward wholly unforeseen destinations.

It could seem that the coin might have been overlooked as it lay on the pavement, that its finder might easily have passed it by as others surely had done. But whoever had found this unusual object and discovers its significance soon realizes something: that he has been lured into a trap and is finding it difficult to imagine that things might have been different. The former prospects of life become distant and can now be seen to have been tentative in any case: what did he ever really know about the path his life was on before he came upon that coin? Obviously very little. But what does he know about such things now that they have taken a rather melodramatic turn? No more than he ever did, which becomes even more apparent when he eventually falls victim to a spectral numismatist who wants his rare coin returned. Then our finder-keeper comes into a terrible knowledge about the unknowable, the mysterious, the truly weird aspect of his existence – the extraordinary fact of the universe and of one’s being in it. Paradoxically, it is the uncommon event that may best demonstrate the common predicament.

Thomas Ligotti, in the Foreward to Noctuary

Cthulhuvolution!

You. It’s what’s for dinner.

I love it when I get these with little notes attached, “Saw this and thought of you.”

Cthulhuvolution

via Cat

Quiz: how long could you survive chained to a bunkbed with a velociraptor?

From Bunkbeds, probably the coolest sales site I’ve ever seen. Because why? Because hellOOOOOO, what other children’s furniture site offers hawt, bleeding edge internet quiz goodness like How Long Could You Survive Chained To A Bunkbed With A Velociraptor? Eh? I ask you.

The Ground Rules

  • Both you and the raptor are tethered to the bunk bed with 7 foot chains
  • The chains are unbreakable and cannot be removed from the bunk bed
  • The bunk bed is light enough that you can drag it a little
  • You are free to run around the bed or get on the top bunk

Try and outlast me, gentle readers! I make that velociraptor my bitch for a full minute and nineteen juicy seconds!

I could survive for 1 minute, 19 seconds chained to a bunkbed with a velociraptor.

via Cvxn

Internet Safety 101

He lurks everywhere!

Cthulhu lurks everywhere!

via Carocat