Category Archives: horror

the freakiest story I’m too tired to post

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Manta Ray

Seriously weird. Seriously, seriously freaky. Probably fake. “The one that got away” takes on new meaning in this tale of lost loves at sea…

Via (where else would you expect?) the Guardian’s Political Diary.

“Almost everybody in the fishing business has had sex with a manta at some point,” Makeburu asserts.

What!!! A manta??? You mean one of those enormous, intimidating winged things with a stinger on their tail that looks like an aquatic Batman?

Yep. After all, fisherman out on ships spend a loooonggg time at sea without ever encountering a woman, and, well, let’s face it, they can get pretty horny. No, dammit, let’s make that incredibly horny. Even desperate enough to do it with a manta. Right?

“Nah,” shrugs Makeburu. “Coastal fishermen poke them too.”

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I was bitten by a poisonous spider

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Shelob

and it died.

Think about that the next time you try to get in my face about … anything at all.

I’m just saying.

PS: so there are black widow spiders here in Vancouver. You learn something new every day, eh?

Give me my footie pjs, put on my cat; I have
Immortal longings in me: now no more
The juice of the Okanagan‘s grape shall moist this lip:
Yare, yare, good CG; quick. Methinks I hear
Viggo call; I see him rouse himself
To praise my noble act; I hear him mock
The luck of spammers, which the gods give men
To excuse their after wrath: baby, I come:
Now to that name my courage prove my title!
I am tentacles and marabou; my other elements
I give to baser life. So; have you done?
Come then, and take the last warmth of my lips.
Farewell, kind CG; blog readers, long farewell.

What, I’m still here? Damn, now what am I gonna do with this soliloquy? I h8 anticlimax!

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Family Cthulhu

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As the artist says, “the only time you’ll ever laugh at this comic.”

 

Family Cthulhu

Well, there are maybe one or two other cases…

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Cthulhu Cthamp for Kthids.

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Cthulhu House

Ah yes, this is what I look for in a summer camp: tentacles. When deciding which godforsaken pit of vipers you’re going to pay to store your children for a couple of weeks, it’s so, so very important to make sure that you choose one that will teach them skills they will need in life as they’re growing up.

Coping with Cthulhu is, obviously, one of those skills.

The Russians, whose Soviet-era abandoned summer camp this is, were obviously miles ahead of the West in Elder God Preparations; only the fall of Communism put an end to their highly sophisticated program, closing the Appeasement of the Ancient Ones Gap between East and West.

Cthulhu House Interior

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weirdest. penis. ev-ar!

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Duck Dick

From Picture of the Day.

Seriously, is this how they make Innsmouthers?

I knew ducks were pretty kinky, but this is just sick.

Funny, he doesn’t look Jewish.

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