the Living Intestine: the Juno Ledge Sea Serpent

We’re talking Sea Monsters, people. So you know we mean business.

Now, everybody knows that Nessie‘s just a big ol’ lump o’ dinosaur, not a serpent at all. And Caddy‘s a figment of some screech-addled sailor’s story-telling impulse. And Ogopogo…well, we do not speak of Ogopogo. The ancient Fossil Shark was a shark, after all, if quite serpentine in spots and from certain angles, especially in candlelight.

But now, at last, we’ve found a genuine Sea Serpent. My shrivelled and blackened heart leaps up

Beneath the surface of our crystal blue waters live a myriad of marine life.

Sometimes we can see them from the air — steely eyed shark congregating by the thousands, graceful stingray, gliding along the shallows.

But go deeper…

You never know what you’ll find. Just ask Jay Garbose.

“This is a first and I’ve traveled and video’ed all over the world.”

Take a look at what he found and listen to the story — it’s no fish tale.

“I was diving on Juno Ledge. That’s about a mile off shore of Juno Beach. At first I thought it was a sea cucumber although no one has ever seen one stretched 7 to 10 feet the way this one was. It’s sort of grey and putty like and very smooth and taffy like in the way it stretches. Some of my friends and I have sort of dubbed it the living intestine.”

And it is just exactly as beautiful as that description would lead one to believe. At first, I thought it was a hoax. Once I saw it moving and had observed its blundering, slow, mindless, horrible writhings, I prayed it was a hoax.

Click to view, if you dare.

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calls for Cthulhu #4

Another episode in our favorite series of (cephalo)podcasts. Here is the Great Cthulhu taking viewer’s calls and dealing with telemarketers as we all wish we could.

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the open source resistance meeting: edited footage

Whaaaaaaaa! Why does LA have all the cool resistance meetings? They don’t have any actual resisters down there in the first place! Tell that Reznor to get his sorry ass up here to the Republic of East Vancouver like, now, or I’ll sic Greenpeace on him. He’ll get his butt Birkenstomped!

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what really happened down there?

squid vs yellow submarine, guess who wins? 

It was the Sixties; nobody was straight enough to really keep track. Still, it was a horrible shock when I found out what had actually happened to the Beatles‘ famed Yellow Submarine.

In a Summer of Love polychromatic perverse update of HP Lovecraft’s The Call of Cthulhu, the hapless yet peaceable vessel and flagship of the Flower Child Armada was seized by the forces of our recrudescent Cthulhu cult and is even now being “repurposed” for who knows what unnameable role in the coming ApoCthalypse! Checking out that last link, I think we can all understand what happened to the crew…poor sods.

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only 43 shopping days till my birthday!

And guess what’s on the list, right after “a pony”?

my little cthulhu!

Cthulhu C’Loves you! The “Great Cute One” has come to give humanity tentacle hugs and maw kisses! This 8-inch vinyl toy, created by John Kovalic (creator of Dork Tower) also comes with two Little Victims that fit in My Little Cthulhu’s snuggly grasp and also pull apart to show their yummy red insides! Not intended for children under 13.

This red version of the My Little Cthulhu figure is exclusive to paizo.com and is limited to a run of 500 pieces.

A ten-tentacle salute to Dr Mike for feeding my Elder Squid fixation.

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