I HAVE to try this. I wonder if I could get the bus all to myself with this.
“Just throw him The Face for awhile!”
Now, on the off chance that you’re short of inspiration for The Face, you can click over the jump and read all of today’s most skeeve-inducing gossip links.
Yep, that’s pretty much what you’ve got here: a crazy old dude going crazy to Led Zeppelin. THIS MAN FOR PRIME MINISTER!!!
Also: Markham??? Is this man related to me???
UPDATE: This video has been removed for violating YouTube’s Terms of Service eh? FUCK YOUTUBE. Vimeo, take me away!
From nearby in the blogosphere comes news that the stars are nigh unto aligned and the glorious new era is upon the threshold. From news sources and historians comes evidence that the allies are preparing, making smooth the way for the return of the Great Old Ones.
From Olde Strasbourg:
This was during the Krakatoa eruption, when Rlyeh briefly surfaced
Yes, the allies from the kings of the jungle even unto the smallest vermin that crawls, unseen yet lathesomely felt, through the teeming maze of our urban decayscapes, have begun to unite in expectation of The Great Rising!
Why is it always Germany? Are their rats particularly activist?
Science shows that, in at lesat some cases, rat kings/crowns have been formed while the attached rats were still alive and growing, indicating strongly that these rats were holy, set apart, and that servant rat classes brought them food and attended to their every sordid bodily need while they awaited the glorious Return of the Great Old Ones.
Evidence (you KNOW we’re all about the evidence around these parts):
rat crown xray is all sciency and irrefutable, so there!
As well-documented in the manuscript known as The Call of Cthulhu, such a pivotal time affects not only the lower orders, but also the sensitives among us, from the most Strindbergian slam poet to the dandies of the Royal Portrait Gallery.
Rat King, the watercolour. Somewhat Twomblyesque, non?
Even innocent embroiderers have had hideous glimpses of the godless Gordian knot:
And in another age, these would have been daisies!
Truly a motif for our time. We can only shudder and whisper horror-struck guesses at the unspeakable, Transformer-like superpowers to be unlocked by a successful unification!
Rat King sculpture, RATTENKONIG! COWER, MORTALS!
Rat King Perfection ACHIEVED unlocking superpowers now
Soon, very soon, Cthulhu will rise again.
Okay, whose job was it to bring the vaseline?
Just as soon as we get this situation straightened out.
Yes. Yes, it is. Have you heard the tale of the fugitive Bronx Zoo cobra? It just got a whole lot more interesting.
Bronx Zoo cobra, you are the perfect hero for our times. Crawl strong, crawl free!
If only my parents had bought me this when I was little!
Okay so judging by the computer clock I have 12.5 minutes to finish this post and get it up, which may give you a hint why most of my posts seem rather … thin … lately. I have to jam them all up before the web cafe closes or walk several miles in the rain to get to the nearest 24 hour cafe and then pay another $2 for lousy coffee or $5 in the case of the nearest cafe, which has a two-drink minimum and NO I AM NOT EVEN JOKING so is it any wonder I’m having an emo breakdown? It’s only Monday by a few minutes and I’m already three days behind in posts.
So let me tell you about the time I had an emo meltdown on my one and only celebrity follower. Well, I have some celebrity journalists following me, thank god, because validation from writers better than one’s self is always welcome, but I have only one Actual Movie Star Follower, and that’s John Cusack. I’d tell you about him, but I don’t have time and you DO have google, so knock yourselves out.
It happened after I’d stayed up too long liveblogging Japan (for which I did get on the front page of Google for “Japanese Earthquake” for a time at least; I do think I did a good job, but GOD who can blog that for long without going ever so slightly insane, eh? I ask yez) two nights in a row and gotten an email from a friend in Hawaii mentioning the two quakes he’d had while he was replying to my email of a few minutes ago. Oh, swell.
Then I heard about the reactors.
That’s about when I DM’d my one and only Genuine Celebrity Follower, a man I know through conversations of about 420 characters total. And nothing is to be deduced from that purely coincidental number.
And what did I say to this near-stranger? “Do you ever have one of those days when you think the end of the world is actually here already?”
So, yeah, I’m apparently That Fan. Mother would be so proud.
On that note, here are your emo links for an early Monday morning. I should drink more, at least I’m a happy drunk.
raincoaster 