Operation Global Media Domination: Politics Day

TIAToday, as you may have noticed, was Politics Day at the ol' raincoaster blog. And, surprisingly, I find that the only thing which out-pulls sex and/or curling (curling porn was a top search, btw) is politics. Glad I found something that did. Getting a wee bit tired of the eedjuts coming to this blog via searches for "Mango Porn."

I am indeed a famewhore of the highest order (the lower orders have to sit on the unshaded side of the temple and stick to beige robes) but even I am not gonna be rooting for more dead Canadian soldiers or pissy, self-serving and moronic Tory policies from the remarkably lifelike Stephen Harper or the remarkably simian George W. Bush. Although I do admit a peculiar fondness for the video of that funny little Chaplin impersonator and that funny Turko-American writer fellow.

At last, a CIA program even *I* can support!

Russia, from the CIA factbook

No, seriously. Thanks to my beloved paranoiacs at Cryptome I’ve found a CIA program I can actually support. Cheer. Rip off, even. And I encourage you and everyone you know to do the same.

George C. Minden, who for 37 years ran a secret American program that put 10 million Western books and magazines in the hands of intellectuals and professionals in Eastern Europe and the Soviet Union, died on April 9 at his home in Manhattan. He was 85.

Captain Freedom (who, by the way, was censored by Photobucket)Mr. Minden was president of the International Literary Center, an organization financed by the Central Intelligence Agency, which tried to win influential friends by giving them reading material unavailable in their own countries. The material ranged from dictionaries, medical texts and novels by Joyce and Nabokov to art museum catalogs and Parisian fashion magazines.

The people who received the reading matter were generally Communists or professionals and intellectuals working for Communist regimes. They thought the books were being donated by Western publishers and cultural organizations.

The C.I.A.’s purpose was to offer an alternative, culturally engaging reality that had the implicit effect of promoting Western culture. Mr. Minden did not see a need to bluntly refute Marxist dogma, on the theory that people could use common sense and their own observations to reject Communist arguments.

The project became something of a personalized book club; files were kept on recipients’ reading tastes, so as to better satisfy them in the future.

Hmmmm, I always wondered about the forehead from which Amazon sprang, fully-formed…now we know. 

Mr. Minden wrote in an internal memo that the West‘s main obstacle was “not Marxist obstacles, but a vacuum,” and that “what is needed is something against frustration and stultification, against a life full of omissions.”

Proselytizing for freedom of choice and independence of thought sounds like a pretty noble set of goals for the CIA, and they deserve a big hand for undertaking this project. Let’s keep the dream alive by doing this on our own, shall we? You know that’s what Minden would have wanted.

Suggested targets of this consciousness-raising guerrilla intelligence action include: Cuba, Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Russia, China, Indonesia, the Sudan, Uganda, and the United States of America.

Hu and Bush, Heckler and Gitmo

My First Book Review: well, since school anyway, and there we always had to conclude that Dickens was the greatest prose stylist the universe has ever seen

A review of The Dream of Rome, by Boris Johnson, who is on the blogroll over there if you look closely.  And all of this was posted over there anyway, but give the man a click. It's the least you can do since none of my readers will ever vote for a Tory anyway.

First off, I don't review. I opine. This will hopefully excuse much.

As an introduction to the Roman Empire and the reasons for its long-running success, The Dream of Rome is perfectly marvelous. Boris obviously loves his subject, knows it fluently, and isn't afraid to go to the experts when he's at a loss. Picks interesting experts, as well. And of course the writing flows like the river in a Hudson School painting. It's quick, it's beautiful, and it's sometimes challenging.

And, like the contemporary Hudson river, it's sometimes full of crap.

As an explanation of why the EU is doomed to failure, however, The Dream of Rome fails to prove its case. Really, it must be said that it doesn't seem to try very hard. Boris has some policy points to make, and he makes them, but any examination of the EU is glaringly incomplete without mention of our apparently limitless desire to form meta-states like the UN, NATO, G7, NAFTA, etc etc. There is a reason behind this, and it's not mere economic advantage. Nor is it mere ego.

The only emperor-manque the world has who has any sort of real power is Osama bin Laden. So it's easy to see the point of the Americans who don't want his videos and audio broadcast, lest they start a cult of personality. His power comes from the fact that he writes the cheques. Once that stops, he's over.

William S. Burroughs, who had a knack for being as right as he was wasted, wrote a fascinating piece on why we don't have grand Augustus figures anymore. Here it is:

No More Stalins, No More Hitlers

We have a new type of rule now. Not one-man rule, or rule of aristocracy or plutocracy, but of small groups elevated to positions of absolute power by random pressures and subject to political and economic factors that leave little room for decision.

They are representatives of abstract forces who have reached power through surrender of self. The iron-willed dictator is a thing of past.

There will be no more Stalins, no more Hitlers.

The rulers of this most insecure of all worlds are rulers by accident. Inept, frightened pilots at the controls of a vast machine they cannot understand, calling in experts to tell them which buttons to push.

–William S. Burroughs, "No More Stalins, No More Hitlers," from Dead City Radio, Island Records, 1990; and Interzone, Viking Books, 1989.

Operation Global Media Domination: Gay Pirates kick Bloggers Ass

TIAThe raincoaster blog is quite proud and, in fact, almost insufferable about the fact that we have cracked the top 350,000 blogs in Technorati. If you've done better than that, we don't want to hear about it. No, really. We get all weepy and snappish when we hear about that sort of thing unless it's accompanied by a heartfelt "and let me teach you exactly how I did that" email.

PeterPan, I'm talking to you.

And while it's nice to be promoted so my stat counter starts at 30, rather than zero, there's a brief yet heart-stopping period every day when I appear to have negative readers. And we all know my readers are as positive little bundles of human sunshine as it is possible to be, right? Totally, bitches!

In a search term roundup this week, it is quite clear that Gay Pirates kick the ass of all blog-related posts. There are the classic greatest hits: mango porno, Narnia porn, and octopus sewing patterns. And curling. Lotsa curling.

Eagles are good, too. Raptors apparently rank high in the blogosphere; I can see that, you know. Winging through the sky, falling upon their prey like a thunderbolt, soaring in regal isolation, making Technorati their bitch.

COLOSSAL…shrimp

No, seriously!

Colossal Crustacean

News comes, via Sploid, that a biologist in Columbia has purchased the world's most incredibly ginormous, huge, lumbering, colossiod, towering

shrimp.

Says the biologist:

"This is the biggest species ever known here or even in literature! The big difference, which could also be harmful for us, is that this species is a predator and it could end native species!"

Nearly the size of a man's foot, this incredible monster was finally landed, after an unnamed and (no doubt) unnameable struggle, by innocent Columbian fishermen, momentarily ignorant of the cosmic shudders sent echoing to the very depths of the abyss where the blind idiot god Azathoth bubbles and blasphemes at the center of the universe for eternity, by their bumbling, oblivious capture of this, the very Fungi of Yuggoth.

Or black tiger prawn.

You say kebab, I say ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.