from Kazakhstan, with love

From India, with lovefor realz. This is not some Borat-inspired joke, this is the real thing. Stolen from Gawker.

Dear Sir/Madam, The Cultural Center of Kazakhstan, Inc. in New York proudly presents the Project “From Kazakhstan with Love”, which will take place on 24 March of 2007. This event will allow professional ballet masters, singers and musicians from country of Republic of Kazakhstan, to have an opportunity to show their master skills and top level of the arts of the Republic of Kazakhstan in the city of New York. The participants will perform alongside with the distinguished American performers and American Kazakhstan performers, achieved a high recognition abroad as Prima Ballerina of New Jersey State Theater Saule Rakhmedova, Ballet dancer Tuvshin Bold, and a winner of the International competitions pianist Alia Alhan Malkeeva. The performances will take place on of the best stage of the city New York, at the Time Warnerner building Allen Hall (capacity of 427 people). The importance of this event is essential for the promotion of the culture of the Republic of Kazakhstan in the United States, and especially in the city of New York, which is considered as the Capital of the World for the arts and music. While living in the United States, we still struggle to explain what is our beloved country, and we dream of the great and peaceful representation of our country here through the cosmopolitan language of the arts.. We also offering the presence of your representative on these events, where we assure you the best attention and care of the arrived guests and free tickets for this events. Under your decision we are offering the speech of your representative on the events. We would like to kindly request your help for the successful completion of this event. Your help could be addressed to the Cultural center of Kazakhstan, Inc. bank account, through the web site of the organization. We are officially assuring you to follow all of your requests.Sincerely,
President of The Cultural Center of Kazakhstan, Inc,
Alia Alhan Mal’keeva, Ph.D.
www.kzculture.com

From Russia, with love. Not Kazakhstan

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the dreaded Blue Screen of Cthulhu

Whenever you see this, the unspeakable Blue Screen of Cthulhu, be sure to place an immediate call to Yog Sysop.

Blue Screen of Cthulhu!

Fortunately, there’s a way to protect your vulnerable computer from infection by rogue shoggoths, atavistic aquatic DNA manifestations, pesky lone wolf journalists, interfering Ivy League professors, and other catastrophic events which interfere with the normal day-to-day operations of your Cthulhu Cultists.

Yes, it’s Shub Niggurath Systemworks:

Shub Niggurath System Works

– AntiVirus to protect your system from infection once Cthulhu has his way with it.

– CrashGuard prevents the Blue Screen Of Cthulhu.

– Cleansweep clears away all those nasty, unwanted system shoggoths.

– Web Services helps with any problems you may have with Yog Sysop.

Comes in yellow sign colored packaging.

What are you waiting for? Get off your f’tagn ass,

and go buy. . .

Shub Niggurath Systemworks 2000

Your system, and your very soul, just mind[sic?] depend on it.

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quiz: who will you be in the year 1400?

By way of dating site OkCupid and Sir John Mandeville (with whom I, apparently, have much in common) on the blog of Geoffrey Chaucer, here is the “Who will you be in 1400” quiz.

Actually, I was. Scary.

The Knight
You scored 28% Cardinal, 48% Monk, 38% Lady, and 59% Knight!
You are the hero. Brave and bold. You are strong and utterly selfless. You are also a pawn to your superiors and will be lucky if you live very long. If you survive the Holy wars you are thrust into you will be praised for your valor and opportunities both romantic and financial will become available to you.
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 99% on Cardinal
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You scored higher than 99% on Monk
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You scored higher than 99% on Lady
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You scored higher than 99% on Knight

Link: The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test written by KnightlyKnave on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

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over Anna Nicole’s dead body: hawt Howard K Stern and Larry Birkhead slash!

Anna Nicole Smith Larry Birkenhead Howard K SternYep, this story has officially jumped the shark. From Defamer comes the prescription drug and Slim Fast buzz busting news that some twisted and damned soul out there has taken it upon his/her/its self to serve the needs of the golddigging babydaddy porn community and produce this little masterpiece(of shit).

Enjoy?

Howard K. Stern kept staring at lLarry until Larry became very
uncomfortable.  “What are you looking at, punkhead?” Larry yelled out
towards Howard’s direction.  “I am looking at a man I would llove to see
naked,” Howard answered aggressively.  Larry thought Howard was joking so he
made no further comment.

Howard added, “So, what do you say?  Like to strip for me, loverboy?  I bet
I am bigger than you?”  Larry felt challenged, even though he was the
shorter of the two.

“I am bigger than you,” Larry churped.

Yes, it really is shocking. Stuff like that should never be posted to the internet; this was just completely irresponsible and offensive and there is no excuse for it. Someone should be arrested!

For the spelling.

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manifesting the manifesto, part the first

All your base are belong to raincoasterYou may know me. You may know me well. You may only think you know me well.

But I bet you don’t know this:

I’m a manifesto junkie.

It’s true. I’m not ashamed. It’s just a healthy, natural enthusiasm and nothing at which to look askance or akimbo. Manifestos are compelling. They’re energetic. They’re Manifestificent: they’ve got a bit of the word “festival” right there in their netherfesto-region.

How can you resist?

Late at night, presuming I’m not up blogging, I lie in bed and wonder if the Fascists had had a Manifesto half as good as the Communist Manifesto, where would my politics be right now?

Of course, if I were a Fascist I could just roll over in bed and ask my chauffeur.

In any case, there comes a time when there’s nothing in the world that will fill the aching hole within like a good Manifesto. When the rest of the world turns to mood-altering chemicals, inappropriate sexual liasons, and old movies, I turn instead to Manifestos.

My mother would be so proud; thirty years after grade school and I’m still a drudge.

Actually, my mother told me to loosen up and you may judge the extent to which I have succeeded by the rest of this blog. Start with “Beaver Shots” and end with “Daniel Radcliffe nekkid“.

In any case, I was staggering around the web in my usual random and time-consuming fashion when I found this. It’s a manifesto for those in the startup phase of a company. As I am hoping to form a company and be in the startup phase rather soon, and as it seems to be actually quite good, and as it seems to happen to actually put its finger on the absolute heart of what makes an investor-corporate relations work, I thought it was worth putting in the ol’ raincoaster blog, and no, I haven’t suddenly gone all Tony Robbins on you. Like I said, I’ve been this freaky all along.

The Secret to Winning at Anything

Begin Manifesto:

  1. Big dreams don’t succeed without support from others.
  2. That support is most often manifested as faith, advice, or money.
  3. There are many ways to get support, but the easiest way is to ask.
  4. When you ask, make sure – more than anything – that you open your eyes.
  5. You want people who support you for the fire in your eyes.
  6. Where you’re at now will change… but that fire will likely endure.
  7. People who support where you’re at today may not be there tomorrow.
  8. But people who support the fire likely will be there forever.
  9. This is the secret of support. But it isn’t a one-way street.
  10. If you take it… if you get it… you must give it using the same criteria.
  11. Whether or not you believe in karma, it’s always better to act as if you do!

End Manifesto

Just because the Manifesto part of their post is over, doesn’t mean your reading assignment is. Read the rest of what they have to say, and veddy interesting reading it is, too. I want to draw your particular attention to points numbers 5, 7, and 8.

This is what Steve Jobs has always had. This is what Hitler had; hmmmm, perhaps not the best example. This is what Joan of Arc and Pierre Trudeau and yes, Tony Robbins and Nelson Mandela and John Dillinger and Thomas Jefferson and Rousseau and Rasputin and Dave Eggers had.

I’ve been poking around the blogosphere for quite some time, and have become aware that the intentionality behind a post has a significant impact on the ultimate fate of that post. I know that when I’ve done things purely to draw traffic, that they have failed. And when I’ve done things purely out of negativity, they have not only failed to meet their goals, but they have failed as actions in and of themselves. I’ve seen it repeatedly and it’s given me a firm belief that the combination of authenticity and passion has a huge, but so far unquantified, role in the success of any endeavor. This manifesto has expressed that as well as anything I’ve ever seen.

But then, as you know, I only read Manifestos, Gawker and Fark.

Does anyone out there have any examples of something that also gets to the heart of this? This is a capitalist document, but we can examine the same phenomenon in politics, in entertainment, in philosophy, in science, or in any other human pursuit. I’m trying to build a Grand Unified Theory of that very fire: so far I’ve connected the idea of Quality from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance; mathematical elegance, from The Divine Proportion, and the philosophical concept of Truth. I think that this kind of passion is also connected, and that, in touching it we are connected to something numinous, which is actually a long way to go from a venture capital-baiting blog post, but there you are.

You go some strange places on the starship raincoaster, particularly under a full moon.

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