How is babby made?
No, it’s a FACT. Now that you truly understand the reason for war, it’s time to put the nail in the coffin of your optimism with today’s roundup of pointless celebrity gossip.
How is babby made?
Category Archives: media
Palin Poetry: The Palinleaks Haikus
New Shakespalin
Many and varied are the treasures of the internet, and the greatest of these may be HaikuFinder. After spending far too much time trying to download and run the damn thing (okay, i got the program…and now I need to install Python? And then I need to hack a workaround into Vista, which won’t run Python? And then I need to disable my virus protection so it can run? and whatever, dudes) I find out there’s a website. Paste in the words aye wallah! Your Haiku: dey are fownd.
So, presumably the Python script etcetera exist so you can Haiku-ify top secret documents without the off-chance that Wikileaks will find your sooper-sekrit poetry stash? Okay then!
In related news, it’s obvious to the most casual observer of the Contemporary Poetry Scene that we are not the first to take a stab at finding the poetry in Palinisms: There was Slate’s fictional Palintry roundup, The Utne Reader’s architectonic analysis of an interview, Prospect Magazine (yes, even in the UK, which reminds me, did you see Mike Tyson at the Oxford Union? Oscar Wilde is spinning like a turbine, I’m telling you), and, of course, a year later the Huffington Post. And this book:
Tap that!
And, of course,William Fucking Shatner.
As you may be aware, the Great State and Future Province of Alaska has recently released all of Sarah Palin’s emails (now, Republicknuts, keep your panties on: they’re redacted) for your reading pleasure, and we at the ol’ raincoaster blog have taken this one step further by running said emails through the HaikuFinder, and here are the results [who, by the way, is this “Tibbles” who gets cc’d in on so much? Her cat?]:
Attention World!
Old Spice Guy is Canucks Fan
Actual proof the Old Spice Guy is, in fact, perfect: He’s a Canucks fan.
No, LOOK at them.
Yep, pretty much perfect.
Click over the jump for some less perfect celebrities.
Ratinox revealed!
Julian Assange plays strip scrabble with raincoaster. We ALL win!
Wouldn’t you like to see the secret stash of deliciousness from The Artist Formerly Known as HarryHarrison (at least to users of nerdlink filing-cabinet sites and OK Cupid; think of delicious as Tumblr but for nerds, not hipsters)?
Yes, of COURSE you would, you sick perv, you.
Behold, the collected bookmarks of Julian Assange:
Gogol Bordello (band) SAVE | SHARE [Oh, Julian, you hipster wannabe]
Voltaire and Emilie du Chatelet SAVE | SHARE [yeah, no wonder I love this man]
Access The Great Books SAVE | SHARE [do you think he’ll put his OWN book here, or insist you buy via Amazon affiliate link?]
Julian Assange teacup shot. Is that a venti?
And so on. At least he lost interest and got busy with Wikileaks before adding the obligatory “I’m in my late 30’s and still want to pull hipster chicks” nod to Arcade Fire.
Still, Arcade Fire DID do this:
for which the fact they are an ageing hipster’s favorite band is forgiven, because this particular iteration of this particular song is the great protest anthem of our time. We’re not as raw as The Clash, but our riots aren’t just Quiet: they’re silent, but for the clicking of keys on an iMac. Vaguely apologetic but inexorable, conscious of the past and very much aware of this moment in history, twee, precious, metrosexual but somehow effective nonetheless; yup, this is us, right here, right now. But where was I?
Oh yes, perving on Julian Assange, checking out four year old bookmarks, and introducing our celebrity gossip links for today.
Links: You just can’t get enough, you insatiable pervs!
Dandruff of Destiny!
Birds are pretty. Even bird dandruff is pretty.
Let this be a lesson to you, the next time you think your footprint in time is banal and squalid. This is the print made by a bird who flew into a window; he left behind his image in dandruff. So the next time you’re feeling like your life is dull and meaningless, remember this dandruff print and let fly, Andrew WK style!
Andrew WK gets his freak on with Conan
There, don’t you feel all One With The Cosmos again? If that doesn’t do it, skip over to our old blog buddy LettersHomeToYou and read the Desiderata for Bloggers.
Stumble aimlessly amid the trolls and waste, but remember what peace there be in staring at your toes for a couple of weeks. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all readers. Publish your posts quietly and clearly, and listen to podcasts, even the dull and garbled, for they too have a right to hog bandwidth. Avoid loud and aggressive bloggers. They are pains in the ass.
Vox, dude!
Except for the part about the podcasters. I’m not so sure about those guys; after all, when regular radio is as bad as it is right at this moment, who needs to listen to a bunch of amateurs for poorly-formed opinions, delivered in garbled and techo-tarded fashion? Also: bandwidth is cheap now!
Ah, sic transit gloria monday. I always wondered what happened to gloria tuesday. Guess she drove instead of taking the bus. And how were they both related to TGI Friday?
Where was I? Oh yes, posterity. Click over the jump to see what the rich and famous did today that’s going down in history. Or, in the case of political mistresses, going down on history. And I totally stole that joke from a 30-year-old Vanity Fair magazine.
raincoaster 