Category Archives: meme

Rapture Readiness: a Public Service Announcement

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In Case of Raptor

In Case of Raptor

We all know the Rapture is coming. And we pretty much all know we, ourselves, are not going to be beamed straight to Heaven by Saint Scotty’s magical transporter, so it behooves those of us who will be Left Behind (shades of grade school!) to prepare as best we might for life in a post-apocalyptic, zombie paradise.

But just in case it doesn’t happen, I’m doing what a Facebook friend suggested, and leaving empty shoes filled with glitter outside all the gay bars I can find, just to confuse the Christians.

In case of Rip Taylor

In case of Rip Taylor

Here’s a very servicey video from our friend FrontierFormerEditor on practical ways to prepare for the looting which will inevitably ensue. Get your shopping carts in good working order now, people!

and if that doesn’t cover all your bases, here is a small roundup of Top Rapture Tweets. Yes, I expect this to trend BIG over the next two days. Apologies I can’t grab the Tweetshots, but Tweetshots appears to have been Raptured already.

  • From ApocalypseHow: Hmm, the world ends the same week as Oprah’s show does? “EVERYBODY gets a CAR! Or thrown into the LAKE OF FIRE!”
  • Bug Girl: A friend suggested we leave empty shoes filled with glitter outside gay bars on Rapture day. I can totes see you doing that :)
  • Sean Percival: How about an inbox rapture instead? Just leave behind the naughty ones like my Agent Provocateur newsletters.
In case of rupture

In case of rupture

And here are zombie invasion survival tips from the Center for Disease Control. Boy, the government looks after everything, don’t they?

The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder “How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”

Well, we’re here to answer that question for you, and hopefully share a few tips about preparing for real emergencies too!

So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored). Below are a few items you should include in your kit, for a full list visit the CDC Emergency page.

  • Water (1 gallon per person per day)
  • Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
  • Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
  • Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
  • Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
  • Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
  • Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
  • First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

That is what I call Taking Care of Your People! Remember, it’s time to get that granny cart and the acetylene torch all tuned up. Only 48 Earthly hours left!

Chihuahuas: fanged mole rats of doom! OF DOOM, PEOPLE!

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Evil puppehs are evil

Evil puppehs are evil

Long have we shouted into the insatiable, oblivious void, warning of the dangers of those tiny, trembling, fanged and clawed homunculi known as Chihuahuas. And have you listened? Hellz no you have not; you persist in toting these hideous, incontinent fetal aliens in handbags and amusingly-McMansion-shaped wheelie bins everywhere you go.

[aside: while I was writing this, Zemanta came up with some Related Articles and they included something I could have sworn said “cooking and features of a Blue Chihuahua” but alas it was “coloring” instead. Imagine my disappointment. Also, capitalizing adjectives and nouns? Isn’t that German? Are these loathesome creatures the spawn of some unthinkable Nazi experiment? It would explain a lot, that’s all I’m saying. Also, apparently cooking Chihuahuas is A Thing:

CORRECTION: The first ingredient in the 4/30 Quesadillas recipe should have read “1 cup shredded Mexican Cheddar, Monterey Jack, Pepper Jack, or brick cheese.” Somehow, an auto spell-check changed cheddar to Chihuahua. We apologize for the error and hope that no Chihuahuas were harmed due to the error.

] yes I had to end the […] because I’m meticulous like that.

But now we have reports, many reports, coming in. You will not listen to reason, but might you listen to evidence? Just maybe?

From the comments on Gawker:

Good Girl Gone Bad @raincoaster
Actually scientists did some DNA analysis that showed chihuahuas are descended from an entirely different type of canine than all of the other breeds of dogs. They can interbreed with other breeds of dogs only because most species of canine can interbreed (like wolves and dogs(

So actually you are right

P.S. I have a supercrush on you.

Obviously a person of vast intelligence and exquisite taste. This was in the comments added to an article about how a thief stole it out of a car along with a laptop but returned the Naked Mole Rat “Dog” in the back seat, because even criminals deserve better company.

Chihuahuas have been named one of the 100 most dangerous dogs in Australia (way to go, team!):

CHIHUAHUAS and pomeranians are on the list of Queenland”s 100 most menacing dogs.

They might stand less than 30cm tall, but the small pets have now officially been declared menacing creatures by authorities, under controversial new state laws aimed at slowing the state’s rising number of dog attacks.

More than a year after the laws were introduced, only 110 dogs have been declared menacing in Queensland, but authorities predict that will soar as awareness of the new laws spreads.

And awareness of the right to self-defense.

At least the damn things can’t breed.

Or fly. Like Poodles can.

Shelter workers at an SPCA on B.C.’s Sunshine Coast have taken an injured poodle under their wing after the canine was dropped onto the grounds of a care home by a large bird of prey.

The six-year-old poodle, dubbed “Miracle May” by workers, fell from the sky onto the Shorncliff Nursing Home in Sechelt on May 2.

Where is your dog now?

Where is your dog now?

Mother’s Day, Canuck style

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My hockey mom can kick your hockey mom's ass

My hockey mom can kick your hockey mom's ass

This is where shit gets real on Mother’s Day in Canuckistan. You might not know it, but Canadians are intensely competitive, most particularly on holidays such as Mother’s Day. First comes the Stanley Cupcake bake-off, followed by the face-off, followed by the gloves-off rumble, followed by, of course, the afterparty,

Seal, Clubbing

Seal, Clubbing

seal clubbing.

Keep Calm and Recite the Lords of Hockey Prayer

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Keep calm and Canuck on

Keep calm and Canuck on

I was walking down the street, minding my own business (for once) when, right at the corner of Richards and Hastings, I saw this. I had to have it. And since I don’t have a camera capable of photographing it well enough to capture all the text, I ripped it off the hydro pole on which it had been pasted, and took it with me to type it all out. So here it all is, laboriously typed out by hand, so I hope you appreciate it.

Thus saith Michael the Captain of the Lords Host,

The year I was born, they joined the Big League, and waited patiently for Me,

They didn’t play for last, no more two line pass, bring on the Holy Spirit Gas

To bring it into submission, you must surrender to a God, and agree on the vision

Good Grief, I love My Beloved Leafs, but Vancouver I desire to give the cup to thee

REVELATION 19 THROUGHT 22; EZEKIEL 9: DANIEL 12

I am Stanley’s Lord, drink from My cup, after the parade we will sit and sup

I AM the Man clothed in linen, with Trevor Linden, saying the Devils ain’t winning

Game 7, a loud trumpet sound, a musical ride gathered around

Oh Canada, don’t you see, New Jerusalem a virgin bride dressed for Me

Hebrews 13: Thessalonians 4:16-17

Skates of Fire, Stars on Ice, entertaining angels is it not nice

In 89, Al MacInnes stood on the line, Patrick Roy ducted every time

Lanny McDonald, I Am the Golden Arch, I began My shout on the 19th of March

Don Cherry, I Am the vine, you Me and Ron the Devils will whine

Matthew 24L Mathew 18:19, Daniel 12:1-4

Davey Crocket and the Richard Rocket, I have a cup, in My pocket,

Bobby Orr he shoots he scores, I AM Michael, I hold the oars

I row row row the boat, I Bless the Humble, and oppose the goat

If you want this gift from Me, get on your knes in My Name Jesus say please

Mark 13; Matthew 24; Luke 21

Uncle Steve and Wayne the future I see, Luongo, will stand on his head for Me

Hey twins call Sundin up, and tell him to come, and sip from My cup

Surroundd by the cops, the crowd weeps, and the tears will drop

The crowd will roar, the Master is home, as Roger packs the Thunder Dome

Revelation 14; 1st Thessalonians 4:16-17; Daniel 12:1-4

Scotties tissues, a tournament of hearst, as I tear her walls all apart

To her shall the Archangel sing, about a Seven Carrot, Diamond Ring

Hey B.C I aAm the Lion, I am Orion, and you are standing on Mount Zion

Before Christ, this is the blan, I long to give you the cup from My hand

Revelation CH 6 through CH 13 understand the silence Aug 26, 2011

The Pacific Rim, the Ring of Fire, all prepared for cowards and liars

A three game sweep, a three game come back, Michael and His Angels lead the attack

The Devil and his angels, all cast down, 7 trumpets and they will gather around

Gates and the Pope I will capture, the rest marked, and headed for disaster

Isaiah 11

Born to be My Baby, she gives love a bad name, The New Jersey Devils concede the game

Little Girl Airheart, I tore her world apart, IAM destined to win right from the start

Across the oceans her claim to fame, she is taking, My New Name in vain

In your hands, I command you to lift her up, Zion’s Daughter must raise My pup

Love OrionMichael Prince “MY NEW NAME” Rev 19:11-16; Rev CH 2 and 3

Email Michael_Prince777 AT yahoo.ca with questions and comments


Meme vs Meme

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I love both of these memes, but I just can’t make up my mind which I like more. Or which I identify with more. Help me decide: is it to be Courage Wolf or Sexually Oblivious Rhino which becomes the mascot of the ol’ raincoaster blog?

Courage Wolf shits bigger than you

Courage Wolf shits bigger than you

OR

Sexually Oblivious Rhino doesn't know what you mean by that

Sexually Oblivious Rhino doesn't know what you mean by that

What say you all?