From Sploid. My country makes the American news; and golly gee, I couldn’t be prouder.
The communists who run Canada held a bizarre secret “tribunal” that made ancient Egyptian religion the equal of Christianity and outlawed the marketing of Mr. Spock figurines as “toys.”
Canada’s International Trade Tribunal issued the sweeping rulings to stop the Franklin Mint, a U.S. trinket manufacturer, from claiming its collectibles of Star Trek characters, cartoon harlot Betty Boop and “Wizard of Oz” midgets “amuse and please” the Canadians who buy the things.
And quite rightly, too. Have you ever seen that crap? We don’t need none of your kitten-o-the-month-club commemorative plates and pink porcelain unicorn music boxes (with Elvis figure, if you order now!) to amuse us.
Not when we have you people.
A Hollywood producer of whom nobody outside the office ever heard has sent his movie’s star a “Dear Crack Ho” letter.
As always, The Smoking Gun is on the scene.
Dear Lindsay,
Since the commencement of principal photography of Georgia Rule, you have frequently failed to arrive on time to the set. Today, you did not show for work (all day). I am now told you don’t plan to come to work tomorrow because you are “not feeling well”. You and your representatives have told us that your various late arrivals and absences from the set have been the result of illness; today we were told it was “heat exhaustion”. We are well aware that your ongoing all night heavy partying is the real reason for your so called “exhaustion”. We refuse to accept bogus excuses for your behavior.
To date, your actions on Georgia Rule have been discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional. You have acted like a spoiled child and in so doing have alienated many of your co-workers and endangered the quality of this picture. Moreover, your actions have resulted in hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage. We will not tolerate these actions any further.
If you do not honor your production commitments, including your scheduled call time for tomorrow, and any call times thereafter, we will hold you personally accountable. This means that in addition to pursuing full monetary damages, we will take such other action as we deem necessary to preserve the integrity of the Georgia Rule Production as well as Morgan Creek‘s financial interests. I urge you to take this letter seriously and conduct yourself professionally.
James G. Robinson
CEO, Morgan Creek ProductionsCC: T. Brenhan
B.Lourd
R. Levitt
J. Sloan
R. Levy
J. Weinberg
D. Lohan [notice they got Mom in the last line]
L. Zelnick
Looking for the story of the recent NYC beatdown? Go here.
It’s true: Borat, the Andrew Dice Clay of Khazakstan, has gotten the smackdown from the clueless, sharpie-wielding village idiots in NYC. Guess they ran outta pitchforks.
From Thighs Wide Shut, via Gawker. And if you’re thinking “Gee, she musta only had time to go to one website today” you’d be right. There’s a Guide to Muslim Humour on WordPress somewhere, but I’ll hafta find it for you tomorrow. L8r!
From Best Week Ever, via Defamer. Sexiest Man Alive Matthew McConaughey uses his super yoga powers in an attempt to destroy the Death Star and free the galaxy from the cruel yoke of the Imperial Forces.
raincoaster 